To think 42 is too old for a baby?

It’ll be her hormones going crazy before peri menopause.

I think it’s down to the individual woman, but you have to consider having an 8 year old at 50, etc. While you might feel fine, is it fair on the child to have a massive age gap with the parent?

A lot of us start later nowadays, myself included, largely because of the cost of buying a house! But the child’s rights need to be considered too.

I'm always intrigued, too old for what exactly? People are always quick to judge mothers having children over 40 without actually knowing the benefits.
Older mothers don't sit around bashing younger mother. Jeez!

In what way is it not fair on the child?

We had problems conceiving both times and my youngest was born when I was 40. That felt late and I personally can't imagine any later. I wish I'd had them earlier. Each to their own of course. If there is a perfect age, I'd say between 29-34 is best. Established in your career lots of life experience but just about still young enough.

So she will be 62 when the child is 20, no this is not fair on the child

Love that saying "Mind your own uterus" 😄

A friend had a baby at 46. It was a bit of a surprise, they’d been trying for a while but gave up hope of it happening and were looking into adoption. She died of cancer when the child was 8. Absolutely tragic, but could happen to any parent at any age I suppose.

Oh not this again!

Circumstances led to me not having kids until my 40s. We are all fine.apart from the judgement from others of course! That’s a real pain.

My friend had a baby at 46 btw. Unplanned but she’s fine. It happens.

I despise the ageism on MN.

OP, what happens if your DC decides to have a family in their 40s. Will you still be judging? Maybe your kid will be lucky to have a friend like you are to your TTC friend, and they will secretly be super judgemental behind their backs 🤞

Women are biologically designed to have children from their teens to their 40s. This is what previous home did. There is probably an ideal time for children but we need to less judgemental to either teen or older parents.

I had mine just before I turned 42. Absolutely loved every single moment of it. I'd achieved everything I wanted for the moment at work, I wasn't remotely worried about taking time off, we were financially secure and I was a much better and more patient parent than I would have been ten years before. We have no hands-on help whatsoever from grandparents but that was fine - we hadn't expect any. She was a calm, cuddly snuggler and it was just lovely. I was no more tired than anyone else I knew (quite a lot better rested than some) and her babyhood was just delightful. A year of cuddling a baby on my shoulder* and watching Friends from start to finish.

*my only regret is that I really wish I'd switched shoulders more often

Oh dear. Nothing is wrong with having kids in your 20s, or any age. The other poster had literally turned her nose up at older women having children,, so I was showing her how unpleasant she was being by reflecting her comments back at her. Look back at the whole conversation.

As an older mum, you constantly have people feeling they have the right to tell you that it's not what they would do, they couldn't imagine being x age when the child is y age etc etc. Isn't it interesting how it is perfectly acceptable to do that but not to make equivalent comments to younger mums? How about everyone just 'live and let live' and stop judging everyone else's life choices.

It's very common for people in their 40's to have babies. It won't be unusual for her child to have a parent of that age. And you had yours at 38 so there isn't a huge amount of difference for you to be so judgemental.

Sleepless nights are rough for everyone, not just people who are 40+.

I had mine in my 40s, and have no regrets. I also managed to do my masters degree while pregnant and finished it after my daughter was born. My mother on the other hand was pregnant with me at 19 and was an absolutely amazing mum. She got cancer in her 40s and died in her 50s. There's really no guarantee of anything in life. It's an individual decision. If it doesn't impact your life, it's none of your business. Also you will also be in your 50s when your child is a teen, so it's a bit like the pot calling the kettle black isn't it?

Think it depends more on fitness than age. A few years older makes no difference.

To each their own!

My mum had me when she was 20 and went on to have another 3 before she was 30. She loved/loves being a 'young mum' and wouldn't change it for anything.

For me personally, I was far too selfish and immature to have or want kids in my 20's. I was in a relationship with my first husband from age 22 to 36 and he couldn't have kids so it was just never in the 'plan' but I was too busy travelling and building my career to even think about it anyway. I didn't see myself ever having children.

I got together with now DH after I split from my first husband and my entire outlook on life changed. I found myself pregnant at 37 with DD1 and am now days from giving birth to DD2 at age 42. I have no regrets and wouldn't change my little family for the world.

Everyone's timeline in life is different and what works for one may not work for another. If only everyone would stop judging other people so much for their own life choices - it doesn't affect me if someone I know has kids at 17 or at 45, it's literally none of my business. If they are happy then that's all that matters.

If you want to and have the energy go for it. I have just had my second ds at 40. Still on the fence about a third. Kids think their parents are ancient whatever age they are. My mum had me at 21 but I never saw her as a young parent growing up!

I had my only baby at 42 - a week before my 43rd birthday. She is now a teen and yes, that makes me in my late 50s! It's been - and is - absolutely fine!

I was much more confident in myself at 42 than I was even five years earlier and felt I had more life experience so I personally think I've been better as an older mother than I would have been when I was younger!

@FunnysInLaJardin my mum had me at 43 too ☺️

I was 21 having my first and I found the sleepless nights brutal. I’m 27 now and I’m (apparently) perfectly physically healthy, expecting my 2nd, but this pregnancy has been brutal.

Sometimes it has nothing to do with age. My work colleague is pregnant at the same gestation as me but she’s 37…she’s springing around happily being Mother Earth, meanwhile I’m womping around like a broken sloth.

If it's too old for you don't have one! It's not too old for me (currently 41 and pregnant) I was busy changing the world and building a career in my 20s/30s and then I didn't meet a worthy man until 37. Life is different for everybody. Mind your own uterus and don't stress yourself out thinking of others dear.

I’d say it totally depends on the person! The age gap would give me more pause than the age - for example if a woman had babies at 37 and 40 and wanted a third at 42 I think that would be easier than someone who’s had babies at 25 and 28 and was going back to the beginning at 42! But whatever works for each individual!

How is it selfish to become a parent when you have enough money to finance it comfortably?

Currently, I am a parent to 19 at 62. There is zip, zilch, nada, no difference at all to a ten yrs younger parent. I'm even still the mum with the least grey hair of the over 50 crowd locally.