To think 42 is too old for a baby?

@BatchCookBabe thank you, it was very sad. I was the same age as my younger cousin when she died.

I’m sure you’re right, I will get people coming on saying that - I probably shouldn’t have added that bit in, it wasn’t meant to be connected to her age having the babies, just a side note.

@Neetra30 my parents are great but I wasn’t going to rush into having a child at an unsuitable time in my life just so my child had more time with them. That’s lunacy

my friend had her first at 18 and is completely estranged from her mother doesn’t talk to her at all. I had no grandparents growing up and it didn’t matter to me at all. My dh doesn’t talk to his grandparents because they are abusive horrible people. Grandparents aren’t the be all and end all. That’s my point.

But it's relatively rare to lose both parents at the age of 28. Your mother's situation is not the norm.

My mother was an orphan by 28 and her parents had her relatively young. It’s absolutely ridiculous to have a child based on what age grandparents are or what they are doing.

I'm 42 and we're TTC number 2, ds is 15 months, he was a great baby, and so far is a great toddler, he sleeps 12hrs minimum at night, I'm fully aware we may not get quite so lucky with #2 but dh more than pulls his weight, we're in it together and I have no doubts it'll all be ok.

In my experience women who have had kids younger will say they think having them older is a bad idea. And women who have had their children later in life will say it’s absolutely fine. It’s always about perspective. Most things are.

Silently judging your friend is about you though, not her. Have you considered why this bothers you?

There is no more insulting of older mothers on this thread than there is insulting of young mums.

HTH.

How sad. I am sorry to hear that.

You will get people coming on here though, and saying that could have happened at any age. It is more likely to happen the older you get though. (Statistically.)

As I said earlier, many people in their early to mid 40s are not stable financially. Often no more stable than someone in their late 20s.

I have children in education and am in my 60s. It isn’t brutal. I have nothing to compare it with so it just normal to us.

All the judgement on here is nasty. You’re literally insulting older mothers. Many who have taken the time to post about their experiences.

Could not have said this any better

That's ever so sad. Unfortunately you're not guaranteed your parents to live to an old age no matter when you were born.

The judgement on this thread is appalling. You cannot speak for everyone. In my 20's I was in a much worse state than I am in my 30's both mentally, physically and financially. My child has a much better mum and life because I waited until I was in a better place.

I know people who had kids in their 20's. Now 10 years on they're not the best parents tbh because they want to do all the things they felt they missed out on. Everyone's situation is different!

My auntie had her first baby at 41 and her second at 44, she always seemed to have plenty energy for them but sadly she didn’t live past them turning 12 and 15 because she got terminal cancer.

I quite like the idea of one at that age. Being older, more stable, having more money, and only having one instead of juggling multiple kids.

B1anche: I stopped trying at 38 and then got pregnant accidentally at 41. What would you do in that position? From the sounds of things, you would terminate the pregnancy (which is fine). But I imagine that most, like me, would be absolutely delighted even if it wasn't what they would have planned.
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Oh yes, an unplanned pregnancy is a different thing altogether and most people are delighted with their late baby. However wanting and planning to have a baby at that age is not the same at all.

Agree. I feel like we’re saying children who don’t have their grandparents around for long, are worse off than if they’d not been born at all!

BatchCookBabe: 38 and 39 is a LOT different to 44-45, which many posters on here claim is a typical age to have a baby in their 'SOCIAL CIRCLE!' 🙄 (Often it's the first!) Even so, that would be the cut off point for me to have a baby. (38.) So I would stop 'trying' at 37.
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That sounds sensible to me and I agree that late thirties are a lot different to mid-forties. It's not all about how you feel at the time, some people are quite fit and feel fine much older than that. Funnily enough I came over all broody at 37. Thankfully I didn't give in to it and the feeling wore off eventually. There are other things in life.

I stopped trying at 38 and then got pregnant accidentally at 41. What would you do in that position? From the sounds of things, you would terminate the pregnancy (which is fine). But I imagine that most, like me, would be absolutely delighted even if it wasn't what they would have planned.

What a 60 year old “granny” can do isn’t my concern. I don’t expect my parents to provide childcare. I wouldn’t have planned a child in my 20s based on anything their grandparents could do. It’s nothing to do with them. And I might never become a grandparent myself for all I know.

Who says they are the exception rather than the rule? Where did you find that information from? I'm assuming you've just made it up based on the health and activity (or lack of) of your own circle of friends and family.

38 and 39 is a LOT different to 44-45, which many posters on here claim is a typical age to have a baby in their 'SOCIAL CIRCLE!' 🙄 (Often it's the first!) Even so, that would be the cut off point for me to have a baby. (38.) So I would stop 'trying' at 37.

100% this. ^ Some people are deluded on here. Of course, the odd 60 year old -with a 17 y.o. 'child' (who had them at 43) has come on to tell their story of how they are as fit as a butchers dog, super healthy, with no health issues whatsover, and everyone thinks they're ten years younger etc,' but the fact is - even if this is true - they are the exception rather than the rule,

I wouldn't do it but wouldn't judge anyone else for it