To think 42 is too old for a baby?

Well, you've replied to every post, so I think one can assume your level of caring about this random stranger's opinion is at least equal 🤔

FYI I also have a masters degree

FYI me too. What's your point? If we're listing credentials and accomplishments, I also have a law degree, a second masters, a cordon bleu certificate (but only basic cuisine), a first aid certification, an enhanced DBS, BA gold status, a published book and a very naughty dog.

Still waiting for the definition of 'old mum' though. I'm curious to see if I make your cutoff or not.

I know it's inflammatory, but I can't help but think "why!?" Your 41, and already have children! You're 41!

Well I hope not as I’m 41 and considering one last baby. But mine are young and if I was out of the baby stage I might not want to go back.

I'm not really an old mum. Baby at 33 and would have been a little earlier if I hadn't lost my daughter in pregnancy. As someone impartial I wouldn't say that's how they are describing themselves at all. Some younger parents really have a chip on their shoulder when it comes to people choosing a different life.

My experience of seeing people having kids younger was not good, including my own parents hence the reason I didn't want any in my 20's. I have sooo much more patience and money now than I did even 5 years ago. No regrets because I lived my best selfish life. Some people may take a little longer to settle.

Some people are great parents young, others older. It's really nobodies elses business and not a competition.

I never understand why with motherhood, people insist one size fits all and judge anything they don't agree with.

Can you define 'old mum'?

The older parents on here are describing themselves as cranky and cantankerous and knackered

All of them? Every single one? I didn't find that, actually, if anything, it seemed to be mostly the posters who weren't older parents extrapolating that's what older parents were going to experience. Maybe if you ween't so busy having kids when you were younger you could have brushed up your comprehension skills?

I know several people who have had children in their 40s and that certainly doesn't describe them. It's just possible your prized 'youthful attitude' might well be an intelligent, well-rounded person's definition of hubristic, unworldly and limiting, but, hey, at least you have the memory of your youthful parenting to keep you warm. 😀

@Mothership4two It's tiring having kids but it's also kept both of us young and lively. In particular DH retired last year (civil service wanted him back in the office, he said "sod that") and his life is not that of a retired person except possibly for the daily trips to M&S food hall). We're going on a beach/Disney holiday in the summer while my parents were going on U3A trips when they were his age.

AARGH typo. Both my DCs are adopted but (as per my post up thread) I was in my 40s when they were born. Not 50s.

A 42 yo mum isn't going to have a teenager/a child still in education when you're in your 60s, she may have an adult child in further education, but, hopefully, they won't be asking her to help with their homework then and she won't be doing any school runs.

I'm not saying I found motherhood (or menopause) a breeze but I always wonder on MN when I hear someone saying it's hard (or 'brutal'). I definitely wouldn't call my experience of the whole of motherhood that - course it had its ups and downs and tiring times - but, for me, it was very positive. Obviously serious life events will impact it one way or another. I'm not far off my 60s and find some negative terms about age quite odd.

DD was born when I was in my late 50s and occasionally I was mistaken for grandma when she was little (doesn't happen any more, I can only assume my DCs have kept me young and everyone else's have aged them terribly). DH is over 10 years older than me (I can hear the pearls being clutched from here and if he's mistaken for her granddad she thinks it's HILARIOUS and it's so rare for him (again, he's kept young by having kids I think) he isn't at all bothered.
Teachers who are embarrassed by such a mistake need to give their heads a wobble.

I was 42 when I had my little boy. We’d been trying for years and had three failed attempts at ivf. I had a miscarriage then a healthy pregnancy. I never appreciated judgemental people thinking they were able to ask me why i didn’t want children and poking their noses into our business. I still don’t like it! Live your own life and leave your friend to make her own decisions.

I'm now 30 weeks and feeling so ill and rundown. Mentally and physically but I know this is because of the pregnancy issues I get, HG anemia etc. Not my age 37! We don't know what will happen in life but we can't always hold back because of the uncertain nature.

Just wanted to say I had a positive 13 weeks scan today with my 4th baby and I'm an extremely delighted 38-year old 😄

@McBilbo the good news is the ones going around being arsey about your choices are not the ones you want as friends. By all means think 'not for me' but open judgement of something you cannot change is never acceptable.

I agree with you OP although I’m lucky enough to have been able to have children in my early 30s so maybe I’d feel differently if I was childless and 42. I think your friend is mad though. Why you’d want to go back to the baby years when your youngest is 10 is beyond me, especially when the odds of the pregnancy going wrong or the baby being born with a disability are high. It’s not fair on anyone, especially not the existing children.

Because some of us know people who discuss with us TTC in their 40s.

If you had your children in your early 20s, and they're adults, it seems strange when one of your close friends tells you that at 45 she's trying to conceive her first child.

I'm not bothered about it, but I wouldn't recommend it.

Mumsnet is an odd place. On this thread, we’re being told that we have to have our children young so that we can be involved in their lives for years and years- how unfair of us to die when they are still young adults. At the same time we are being wildly unreasonable to want to have any involvement in our children’s lives once they are 18-if we see them twice a year we should be grateful.

Each to their own. I don't understand why people get so bothered about other people lifestyle choices.

@DelilahRay , because some posts are ageist.
There was a recent one where the OP grouped everyone over 50 together as one age group.

Struck a nerve? Not in the least. I'm also happy with my choices, but I haven't felt the need to tell others why theirs are wrong.

You don't see why this is smug?

I can't imagine being an old mum.

You sound quite immature still, actually.

I had a surprise baby at 42. I think it is too old to be honest, because I'm knackered. Way more knackered than I was with my first ten years ago. She's nearly two though now, so we're getting there. I love her so much too, so she is worth it.