To think 42 is too old for a baby?

I had my 4 children at 33, 36, 38 and 41…I found my last 2 the easiest and had as much energy as I did with my 1st.

It’s upto her if she has another baby. I definitely don’t think 42 is too old though..

I wish my hormones were having a last hurrah.. I'm 40zzz I started late & wish I had more time, life gets in the way, I could not fathom judging a woman having a later baby

I had my second child at 42 and would not have appreciated a ‘friend’ starting a post like this. I wanted children much younger but against a backdrop of multiple miscarriages and fertility issues it just didn’t happen ….

It really depends on the person and their circumstances. It would be too old for me but then i felt old having a child at 32! I know lots of people who had children well into their 40s and loved the experience.

Would you say the same thing if it was a man having a child at 42? Or you just enjoy being a misogynist?

And no, you didn’t need to get it off your chest.
It’s hardly a major emotion trauma for you.

You just wanted to recruit others to your judgey mob.

I think yabu and I had mine at 22

Well it worked out very well for me.

No issues with tiredness etc at all.

I strongly suggest that you mind your own damn business and unhoik your judgey pants.

What an awful post. Shame on you OP.

Well that's the choice isn't it, you have your kids young when you know nothing and have no money and maybe even chose the wrong father, or you have them old and you're more tired.

I agree with PP that it's the age gap that's the issue here, not mum's age.

My parents had two DC in their 40s when me and my other siblings were all at secondary school. We didn't mind at the time, but later on (when younger DC were teens and eg going on safari with mum and dad when at that age we'd had a wet caravan in Wales with two toddlers, and then doing much better with uni and career as parents didn't completely take their eye off the ball for their secondary school years) we were a bit rueful about it.

There's also been a second round of resentment as parents weren't particularly interested in the first round of grandchildren as they still had young children of their own but are now heavily involved with round two.

My SIL has just had my niece at 42. Whilst I think its on the later side because my oldest baby is now nearly 18 and I couldn't face the sleepless night these days that is just my opinion. Her and my brother are totally in love with there baby and she will have a lovely life. I do think they will be hit hard financially as they have very much had the dual income no kids lifestyle until now. Where we live is shocking for childcare prices and there both mid earners in the 40k bracket.

Oh you are definitely judgemental OP (I don't calm women animal names personally). I had my last at 40 and that was completely fine. And you having one at 38 hardly makes you a spring chicken either. What is this severe and selfish decline, you feel between 38 and 42? Has something happened that has significantly aged you in these last couple of years?

I wish your friend all the best, and you should too.

Currently sat here 14 weeks pregnant, 44 years old, will be 45 when baby arrives.

Mhmm, you're absolutely right OP, selfish bastard I am.....

Geriatric mothers have the right to do as they wish.

It's too old for me. And you, by the sounds of it

But then again,I won't be the one starting again, night feeds, leaking, nappies, etc..... neither will it be you. So mind your own.

I had both mine in my early forties. No matter how old I was though once children were hitting double figures I would not want to go through it all again. No issues with me being in my forties though, they're now both adult.

I don’t think it’s too old, but I am
biased as my parents had me in their forties and I had my dd in my forties.

HOWEVER, I think this is very much her hormones telling her to have one last go, and she may find that the reality of having a 10 year age gap and a small child, whilst heading into peri, pretty fucking brutal.

Most of her friends will presumably be beginning to relish their freedom as their kids get more independent.

I loved it when my dd was small but, once perimenopause properly kicked in, I didn’t feel like nurturing anything but my garden and pot plants.

Now I am sandwiched between ninety-something parents and 10yo, who all need a lot of my time and energy, whilst a lot of old friends are waving their kids off to university!

I think as well, some people are lucky to find someone to settle down with early on, and have no problems conceiving and giving birth. Not everyone is so fortunate, and a baby in your 40s can be a boon.

Yes, it's too old, especially as she has DCs already. Those DCs are at an age now when they will need a lot of her support and attention, and she wants to bring a new baby into this scenario. Of course it's all possible but there are greater risks to pregnancy at this age, what if the new baby has birth defects and needs extra care? Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

She is being driven by a very strong biological urge to have another sprog, but she's putting her wants over the needs of her DCs.

Whether or not I would say this if someone in this situation asked my opinion would depend on how good a friend they were. From what you say I suspect she's not really interested in your opinion, she just wants your affirmation of the decision she has already made.

I would keep schtum, let her get on with it!

My personal experience when my mum had a baby at 42 was absolutely horrendous. There was a big gap between the 3 older kids and the baby. The older kids then ended up being massively neglected as in no food in the house, having to look after the baby. Mum did not cope at all.
I am sure that doesn’t happen in all cases but I would really consider the older kids before having a baby with that age gap. It’s rarely going to be in their best interests. Don’t get me wrong, I love my younger sister now but it really did ruin my teenage years and cause absolute chaos and poverty in our house.

They'll cope. We all do.

As someone who had two children in my 40s, along with full time resident teenage stepsons, I disagree. I didn’t meet my DH til I was 39, so no opportunity to start younger.
Many of my friends had kids in their 40s, oldest being 46 (all but one conceived naturally). Kids are now university age so doing fine, as are the parents!

I’m 42 and couldn’t think of anything I’d less like to do right now. But that’s because I was fortunate to have my children when I was younger.

I definitely don’t think it’s too old if you want to, are able to and have the stamina! It’s the potential sadness and upset of TTC at 42 that I find almost as off putting as the physical effort, because although some people are lucky and have easy and stress free pregnancies at this age many don’t.

Omg, THIS! Like what do people think women in their 40s did prior to reliable contraception? Just give up sex after age 25? They may have started having children younger but they didn’t suddenly hit menopause earlier. There’s a reason so many families not all that long ago had loads of children.