To think 42 is too old for a baby?

Societal issues include:

resulting birth rate decline, resulting in big problems for our generation.

Increase in medical costs to NHS. Increased IVF costs. Increased midwife and consultant monitoring and care during pregnancy. Increase in breast cancer (read about this recently - reproducing is a protective factor, having babies later increases incidences of cancer in younger women.

negative effects on resulting children who have older parents. People are “living unwell” for longer now.

I think society needs to change to enable people to think about having kids younger (in their 20s and 30s). Address costs of living. Having kids in 40s isn’t ideal for society, if this becomes ever more normal.

YABU and judgemental - it’s really none of your business.

Sometimes life doesn't work out how you want it to. Some people have commented me being so young when I had my eldest who just turned 9! My second was seen as more acceptable as she is 6yrs old. And now judged for having my third at 37yrs old. But repeated misscarriges and operations delayed it.

Ironically I do actually know someone who completed her family by age 19 😆!! Her DH was in the army, they married at 18 - (she was pregnant) and got pregnant a few months after that baby was born when he was on home leave - so had number 2 almost exactly a year after the first. That was it, they had no more. She's now 38 with a 20yr old and 19yr old who seem to be grounded and doing well. One went to uni and one followed the army career.

Pleased you're not my friend.

YABU. It’s nothing to do with you, just because you wouldn’t doesn’t mean others shouldn’t.

I think though that too many people focus on their age during the baby years...I think it's also important to consider whether you want to be in the teenage years while you're in your late fifties heading towards 60

I’m 43 and yes I feel I’d probably be “too old” now. Not necessarily physically but just because I wouldn’t want to go through all of that again - I’m at a different stage in life and I enjoy the fact that my child has more independence now.

Some people fee completely different and thrive through the baby/toddler/small child phase. So what is right for your friend may not feel right for you - and that is fine.

I think this thread clearly illustrates that we are all individuals, in how we think, physically and emotionally. The person considering having another child at 42 has to make her own decision. As long as she weighs up pros and cons carefully and is not swayed by selfishness or feeling very broody all of a sudden, good luck to her.

She may change her mind.

I'm 43...I think I'd drop down dead from exhaustion if I had a baby right now.

I don't know if that's because I'm knackered from spending the past two decades parenting or if it's just my age.

Personally I agree with you Op, but it's not your life or your decision. Keep your views to yourself and be supportive.

Can't wait for people to join the thread saying they couldn't have gone through pregnancy in their 20s and are glad to have completed their family by age 19. 😀

OP I'm so sorry to break this to you but...by the time your child is in it's teens you'll be mid 50s I'm not sure the extra couple of years will make that much difference 🤣

*I'd like it noting I'm almost 39 and sat with a baby.

Can you elaborate on what you think the problem is?

My energy levels are the same in my thirties than my twenties so I find that bizarre

I agree with her actually. I was done by late 20s (had a decent career, married, home owner) and even anything I actually wish we'd had children a couple of years earlier!

Yeah. It's called 'ageing'

Is that a joke? Do you have some sort of health condition?

But not on the day you turn 40. The OP seems to think that there is a magic cut off point between what is an acceptable age and what is not.

Oh god I couldn’t even imagine going through pregnancy and having a toddler in my 30’s let alone 40’s! But it’s none of your business op.

I don't think anyone needs to "be gentle" with you when you posted a thread on a public forum clearly looking for people to agree with you judging your friends "unsuitable" choice.

Women have been having babies in their 40s forever. The fact that you don't want to do that is neither here nor there.

No, but your eggs are exceptionally old and most aren't viable and in fertility years , you are indeed 'old'

It's patronising because the poster is coming up with imagined scenarios she thinks that no woman TTC in their 40's has considered.

Also it's mainly opinion not facts.

Yes it is a fact that there more risks to Mum and baby with increased maternal age (however most likely outcome is still a good one). But the rest of that post is the same pretty negative opinions about older Mums. 'School run at 50! Teenagers at 60! The menopause will destroy you'.

It seems any women making choices to have a baby outside the 'accepted' age range is either irresponsible or selfish (younger Mums cop different but essentially the same judgment).

'

But that means that surely women who have kids in their 40s will be continuing to parent them in their 60s? Wouldn't you say that's more tiring?
And isnt the chances of health related issues higher as you get older? I'm not saying that it will defo happen, as I am aware young people get unwell too. But I'm saying probability wise, it is more likely.
And yeah your right about that, most young people even through their 30s are living at home due to the cost of living. So that means that if a woman has a kid in her 40s, her child might not leave home until shes in her 70s.
Whereas if she had her child in her 20s, they will probably leave home by the time the woman is in her 50s.
Like I said, I'm not crucifying anyone who has their first/second child in their 40s because for them it really is now or never. Plus it's harder to find decent men these days.
But in this woman's situation,I'm really not sure why she wants a third, especially since her baby/toddler years are over? Plus having previous children ages you much faster.
Anyway tbh I dont really care, she will have to deal with the consequences of her choices

I mean I don’t know why you care OP? 42 and 38 are barely any different in terms of how much energy you’ll have?