To think 42 is too old for a baby?

I was 42 when I found out I was finally pregnant after a long journey to parenthood. The preceding year was given-up-trying-but-not-actively-preventing-the-possibility. I was 43 when I gave birth. The 2 chief detractors were GP - who alleged that 'the practice' considered a second pregnancy would be 'unwise' and a fellow local parent - mid 30s and looked exhausted and more naturally grey than I did after her rapid second pregnancy.

42 is not old, I handled it all with immense happiness and was the definition of 40 is the new 30. Go for it.

NB I did only have one but not because a shitty GP pretended 'the practice' has discussed my 'case'.

You literally insulted older mums, when you yourself had a child far outside the norm, what do you expect really?

Having kids whilst being a teen shouldn't be encouraged as most are still in education/finding out who they are.
What's wrong with having kids in your 20s if you have a place to stay, a stable job and a stable relationship?
Do you think your better than mums who had their kids in their 20s? FYI your not and your attitude stinks

Nah, not trying to be a cow. But you are, effortlessly.

Hurrah for a common sense speaker ! Nice to see it without all the compulsory pretzling "sorry for this opinion" prefixes.

No, she's really not the only one who feels this way. Most people are nervous about rocking the boat and keep their mouths shut is all.

Our bodies are designed to reproduce a good 20 years younger than than. Older mums are one of the main reasons we've got fertility issues now as a society due to much reduced fertility after 40. Much higher rate of birth defect. A baby at 43 means an 18 year old at 61. Much less likelihood of grandparents being as involved because they'll be in their 80s.

I mean, if it's your only chance for a baby fair enough. But as a choice? Not optimum.

Methinks you right!

I had a baby 6 weeks ago, and I'm 42. He's my 6th, and I started having children in my 20's. I can honestly say my recovery this time has been far easier and quicker than any of my others. I'm handling the night wakings much better than ever before, and though I've always been a laid back, what will be will be kind of parent, this time I definitely feel like I'm taking everything in my stride.

Risk wise, my numbers were less than most of the other mums to be in my group and pregnancy was easy.

I'm sure your concerns come from a good place, but I think they're unnecessarily pessimistic. You could try to be supportive of your friend in her choices.

Only one post from the OP.

She gotcha!

This in spades. ^ You're right. There is such a nasty snobbery on this board (from some) when it comes to women having children at a young age. Like they are less worthy, more 'common,' badly educated, a bit thick, probably come from a council estate.' 🙄

I was 29-31-ish when I had my 2, but would honestly rather have had them at 19 to 25 years old than at 42+. Couldn't think of anything worse to be honest. JMO, but I can't imagine being saddled with school age children when I'm 50, and teenagers when I'm 60. And as I said, with the way the world is today, you could well have children still living at home when you're 70! Errr, no thanks!

There are more advantages to having children young(er) than having them old(er.) IMO.

I did it. I now feel guilty and selfish.

I had my second baby 4 months before my 42nd birthday. She was truly a miracle, in perfect health and the joy of my life (my first one as well , of course). Yes, with hindsight, I would have started to have babies at least 5 years earlier but you only get to live once, and I can't go back and start again. I'm sure I'd have found it easier too if I had been younger but I can't compare. I don't know what the future holds but I'm trying to take care of myself so I can last the distance. Good luck to your friend.

Oh the irony! 🤣

Oh yay, another post demonising having a child with Down's Syndrome 🙄

I'm pretty sure your friend will have considered all the risks and challenges and decided to go ahead. It's not your place to say anything other than be supportive of her choice.

I commented to say for me it would be too old given I started out young, answering the point of this thread. Personally for me 40’s would be too old. You felt the need to have a dig. Pathetic.

Duh... I was mirroring the superior tone to your own comment. Go over your head did it! 🤣

38 is pretty old for childbearing, so is 42. Both are fine as long as you’re happy with it.

Quite. Feel better now? Funny how some people think they are superior isn’t it? Whatever floats your boat. I’d rather be ‘saddled’ when I had the energy and now enjoy my life when my body is slowing down. To each their own.

I settled in my early twenties, I didn't feel I missed out either. Even got to travel a little bit (not that that's essential) I qualified young in my career and actually took a promotion when the kids were getting a tad older. I still never went full time though. Money isn't everything - time with my children is more precious.

Glad you have a success story also 😄

I tried at 42. She had downs so I terminated. You can test now. It’s not your business, kindly.

My husband's mother was a teenage mum (married, house, had both her sons before age 20) she wasn't viewed as a "teenage" mother, it was just normal at the time.

I do know a few teenage mums that don't fit the idea you have in your head of some little Britain Vicky pollard sort (both army wives) so married very young, kids before aged 20. They seem to be coping like other adults 🙄

It's the stereotype of what a "young mum" looks like to you that's informing your outlook.

Nowadays "young mum" stereotype is now fixed to women below aged 35. It's poposterous!

It’s just sounds a bit sour when you say it like that. This teenager mentioned here was 19 as I was when I had dd1. I can assure you I was and am a more than adequate parent, and it sounds as if the 19 year old mentioned here did a grand job too. Yes, not ideal to have a baby at 15, though I do know a few 15 year old mothers who’s kids are now grown who have done great jobs, but a 19 year old is an adult.

I adapted to motherhood more easily than I think I would now if I’d had all these years child free and pleasing myself.

And I couldn't imagine being saddled with a child in my teens and twenties 'personally'. Funny how we're all different, isn't it?

There's really not much difference being 38 and 42.

Exactly and good for you for creating a good life for yourself!

I honestly believe the 40+ brigade see having children young or younger than them is something "chavs" do. Like being a mother is a dim paupers past time.

They , the clever special elite ones, do all the important stuff first , then lapse into pregnancy and motherhood.

As you say, it's sad that motherhood and the value of a mother is sneered at. We'll pay for this in society in a couple of decades time.