Furious at my lazy fuck of a boyfriend.

Can you also not see that the balance of the scales is way off? You're a caring person adjusting your schedule to care for your dog and trying to find a way to make things easier for your boyfriend, at great personal effort, and he can't be arsed to open a door. He'd rather the dog have tests and lay our money so that he can stay up til 4am. He has no sense if responsibility.

Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but surely you should be walking your dog in the morning and making sure it goes to the toilet when you wake up instead of expecting your boyfriend to wake up in the (equivalent of) the middle of the night to do it?

I don't see what he's done wrong here. It's not his fault you don't take it for a walk and make sure it does a pee and a poo before you leave.

Was it your dog

I couldn’t go straight to bed getting in at 1 am
so can totally see whey he stays up but if he lets it out before he goes to sleep you walk it in the morning then it should be able to be left till 11am

if it’s your dog I’d say it’s your fault for not walking it before you go to work

It sounds like it's your dog rather than his. Why did you only have the dog walker for a while if he's already admitted this to you.
Poor dog.

Yanbu. It would be a deal breaker for me because it shows what sort of father and life partner he will be.

When you need care, what use will he be? Fuck all.

I dint know how old you are, and I dont mean this unkindly towards you at all, but this is the sort of thing that I would have rationalised away in my twenties so I could be kind and keep the relationship because, as women, we are conditioned to hold our temper and see all sides of something and our anger subsides.

In my 30s... not a fucking chance. I'm over that shit. People are who they are and I have a much lower tolerance.

I know you aren't planning kids but if you are planning a life, this is the bloke who might one day be your carer, whether you're 80 or just unlucky enough to break a leg or have an early onset health condition and there's not a chance he will give you the care you need. Maybe he's too young or immature, maybe he is selfish. It doesn't matter. He isn't in the same place as you and you can do better.

If the dog won't get up at 5am, why would it get up at 3am?

Bf aside, you need a better plan to care for the dog.

He's not unreasonable not to want his sleep interrupted. It's a dog, not a newborn baby. He is unreasonable not to talk to you and work out a better solution. The options are, let the dog out at 3am, then go to bed- the dog should be able to manage 8 hours overnight; let the dog out at 3am and you do the same before you leave for work if he can't manage for that long; hire a dog walker to come and get the dog before you leave for work.

I really don't think your boyfriend not letting the dog out would explain your dog shitting in the car?!

The dog being let out before your boyfriend goes to bed at 3am then you bringing it for a quick walk before you go then being let out at 11am should really be enough for an adult dog with no bowel issues.

Dogs are gross

This

This.... this.... a million times this!

(I've just got a new kitten and you should see the hoops I'm going through to make it work for him and for my resident dog: sleeping downstairs, stairgates all over the house etc etc etc. People like this man should be nowhere near any animals - makes me furious!)

I totally agree.

Poor dog - thank goodness it is your dog and not his dog.
The piece of shit can stay at his mother's and never come back.

And I would bet that he’s parked in the sofa with zero intention of leaving his home

op… he’s still there isn’t he? And sure as hell isn’t packing his bags?

I mean, bf sounds lazy and irresponsible, so you're well rid.

But doggy... you need to try a 15- 20 minute walk before work. Dogs will often poo if taken for a walk regularly at that time, rather than just a quick go in the garden.

Then a dogwalker to pick your pup up for a walk about 10/10.30, to pre-empt the pooing at 11ish.

I think you will find the dogwalker a better investment than the bf.

He's an irresponsible, unhygienic lazy twat and he neglects animals... that would give me the ick and be a deal breaker.

How long have you been together/ had the dog and whos dog is it? Once you get rid of the useless man feom your house, it doesn't sound like your lifestyle is really set up to care for the dog very well and perhaps a dog walker might improve the dogs quality of life.

Poor dog, especially as you say he's elderly and has health issues.

Your BF is grim and he quite clearly only cares about himself. You are going to dump him aren't you? He's not long term, life partner material if this is how he treats animals.

This is disgusting. The house must absolutely stink of dog shit.

The boyfriends is a complete loser. Get rid for good as of today and make new plans for the dog and a happy new single life loser free.

Change the locks.

This is animal cruelty. A trained dog will be distressed when they poo in the house as they know it’s a last resort. Poor thing, must have been so desperate.

I couldn’t be with someone like that. Trust your gut OP! X

You should never tolerate a man like this in your life. They are an utter waste of space.

If dog isn't going when op let's it out in the morning then it's likely he probably does. Op I'm assuming you feed the dog in the morning? But then you just let it out but not walk it?