Furious at my lazy fuck of a boyfriend.

@thankyounextplease You're assuming he "normally" goes in the same place. Our 17yr old Westie rarely pooed in the house, but when he did the places were totally random - I couldn't predict it at all.

Put a puppy pad down where he normally goes in the house. It's not a big deal.

Patronising comment. How do you know OP hasn't done this already? (BTW, technology allows you to MN and walk at the same time.) And if you'd RTFT you'd know that this poor woofer has developed a neurological condition affecting his mobility so a long walk isn't an option now.

Ah yes, it's obviously only OPs fault. And she should definitely take the poor, old, reduced mobility dog for a nice long walk....

"If he lets the dog out at 3am before going to bed, he should be ok til the morning." But this is the whole point - the lazy exbf wasn't doing this because he couldn't be bothered and once in bed, he couldn't be bothered to get up before 11am (unless there was something he wanted to do) so the poor woofer ended up pooing in the house (because OP gets up at 5am for work and the dog doesn't want to go for a walk at that time and has mobility issues due to its recently-developed neurological condition so it wasn't pooing before she had to leave for work). OP's lazy fucker exbf didn't admit to her he wasn't attending to THEIR dog's needs until the prospect of paying for veterinary tests came up.

I’d dump him just for this, that’s absolute BS behaviour, so completely disrespectful of you, your emotions, your time and your money.

Also it’s extra crap that he was embarrassed and angry about you telling his mum what’s he’s doing. Don’t want someone to tell people you’re a twat? Don’t be a twat.

They got the dog together and he said he would take responsibility in the mornings? She’s expecting her bf to pull his weight with THEIR dog

he may well be lazy, but its also really hard when an elderly dog starts going in the house. Do you know if the dog is even waking him up? When our old dogs started going in the house, it was quite unpredictable. I remember having rows with dh because of it.
If hes getting up at 11am, hes only getting a normal amount of sleep, 7hrs or so, so i dont see how its laziness particularly.
What time is the dog being fed and walked?
Is there any chance of you feeding him and giving him a short walk to encourage him to poo in the morning before you go to work?
Do you think the dog would go on a pad if necessary?

@ThrowingHands You've absolutely done the right thing OP. I've read all your posts and your title "furious at my lazy fuck of a boyfriend" summarises this thread perfectly. He's lucky you've only thrown him out - I'd have fucking killed him to realise your poor woofer would have been "holding it in" until he couldn't any longer! 😡He took on the commitment of owning a dog with you, but now it's all got a bit difficult (due to the woofer's health condition) he just can't be arsed. As you say, the lazy fucker can get out of bed at 8am if there's something he wants to do - but apparently, attending to his ailing dog's needs just isn't one of those things.
DH and I lost our 17yr old Westie in January and we'd been up at all times during the night in his last year when he couldn't settle (including standing in the garden in the depths of winter at 3am!) - it's just what you do for a member of your family when their health is failing - you'd do anything to keep them comfortable and reassure them. Grrrrrrr, his carelessness makes me SO fucking mad! 😡😡😡(Sorry OP, I don't think I've ever sworn this much on MN, let alone in just one post!)
Well done for kicking him into touch OP - you (and your woofer) can do so much better!

Not sure if this has been mentioned but depending on the size of the dog, could you have a dog door fitted? and then a camera or something put in the back?

We have two dogs and work from home, but they go in and out all day playing while I’m working.

Vile. You're well rid.

I wonder what the vet thought when your bf admitted in front of him that the poor dog was pooing in the house was actually down to him? Apart from absolutely fizzing, I'd have been dying of embarrassment - because not only did it speak volumes about your bf, it also must have raised questions in the vet's mind about the state of your relationship.

Sounds like he needs to remain at his mum's until he finds other accommodation.

Ewww!

And not fair to the dog!

@ThrowingHands

so he's at his mums now, great.

how are you feeling now? About things going forward? Do you feel strong enough to make this a permanent split?

I know you've been together a long time, but he sounds like lazy inconsiderate by oaf. Who you would be much better off without..

Going forward, I would just wake the dog up and go for a nice pottering walk until he's had his poo and you can go to work knowing he'll just be snoozing until you get home.

If you can afford it, you could pay a dog sitter walker to do a lunchtime visit for company and maybe a potter around the Neighbourhood. If you think he would enjoy it.

It sounds like your life would be improved by not living with such a twat. And your house will be much cleaner and smell much nicer.!!

I suspect the poor dog is distressed at poo-ing indoors if s/he has always been clean before now.

Time for a showdown.

Dog deserves better. You deserve better.

If he isn't willing to do better (pop the dog out at 3am seems a simple step, but certainly to clean up properly) then he isn't invested in the relationship and can jog on.

Another one who didn't bother RTFT! 🙄 OP and her lazy fucker exbf bought the dog together - it was a joint commitment.

If he lets the dog out at 3am before going to bed, he should be ok til the morning. If you run well him before work, he’ll be fine til your bf wakes up at 11. He can then take him for a midday walk. Working those hours, you can really expect him to be up earlier.
How old is your dog? Fecal incontinence is often an issue with older dogs. My dog is 15 and quite often has accidents even though we walk him 4 times a day.
No excuse whatsoever for your bf not cleaning up properly though.

YANBU. It's so hard to untrain them. Bless your old doggo for relearning at his grand old age.

I bought a puppy that was raised in a terraced home with no garden and they let them all shit and piss on cloth which they endlessly washed in two washing machines that must have been going 24/7.

Getting that pup to stop pissing and shitting on cloth nearly broke me and working with animals was my day job. Any coat sleeve in a pub garden or blanket or dog bed or the corner of a table cloth was a toilet as far as he was concerned.

All they had to do was set up a play pen with a cat litter base or shavings or better still stop breeding pups and keeping dogs that never see the light of day.

It's reasonable when you have no responsibility. My BIL works nights but still sees to the dogs needs. He just gets up, deals with what the dog needs, and goes back to bed. He has no choice some days because my sister works shifts and isn't always there.

I used to get up at 5am to walk the dog before getting into the office for 830am, because at that point in time DH worked shifts and sometimes had to be on site much further away by 7am. But on his days off he'd take her.

A dog is a responsibility. One you shouldn't have if you can't make the right compromise for it.

You can’t let this guy back! After all the hard work you put in - absolutely no respect for you whatsoever and as for the dog, I couldn’t be with someone who treated a dog like that.

@ThrowingHands

This! ⬆️ Ugh. Ditch him. And tell everyone why!!

Honestly, get rid of the loser! He has shown you who he really is.

This 100%!