DH walking ahead

You need to get yourself into therapy and realise you're in abusive marriage.

My exh used to do similar rushing off leaving me with my little short legs to try to keep up. Current DH much more considerate and walks with me holding my hand and carrying any shopping I buy. It's one of the things I love about him.

Why are you with him? I don't understand why you've put up with this shit for the best part of two decades? Do you not think you deserve a man who doesn't humiliate you in public?

FFS 🙄

Take your ticket and leave home to get to the venue at a comfortable pace for you. Meet him there. If he complains explain that his pace is unpleasant for you and therefore it’s better you travel separately. If he complains again ask him if he cares how you feel ?

• If he says yes, explain again that walking at his pace is impossible and scurrying behind is uncomfortable and unpleasant. As a person who cares about you, he wouldn’t want that surely.
• if he answers no…..

My best friend of 40 years standing is female and 6'. I am 5'4. Her husband and children are all six foot something. She us used to walking more quickly. She never ever does this when we are together. My mither is 4 '10 and 86. I slow my pace to walk next to her. It's basic respect

Insist on carrying the tickets yourself or refuse to go.

Then he can get to places as early as he likes but he'll have to wait for you to arrive.

My husband did when we first got together. I told him I found it disrespectful and I’d never trail behind someone like I don’t matter.

When he did it again, I stopped walking. He’d get a few steps ahead, then realise I wasn’t with him and have to double back. It didn’t take long before he stopped doing it altogether.

You don’t have to follow.

All of those who have been told it is because of pace size, do you not have taller or shorter friends? My friends never do this to me, just men. Not just tall ones either.

My husband does this too. No matter how many times I tell him. My God, I thought I was the only one. I can’t believe how many people are posting that this happens to them as well.

OP this is an issue for me too! My boyfriend is much taller than me, has much longer legs and strides ahead of me all the time. We’ll go for a nice day out somewhere like York or the Lakes, or even abroad or n European city breaks and I feel like I’m constantly trotting along to keep up with him, getting breathless 🤣 drives me mad. When I tell him to slow down he does, but it’s only a few mins before he’s leading ahead again. I am really aware of the fact we aren’t actually together, having mindless chit chat as we walk, but he just has no awareness!

Reading so many of you having dps who do this. Why haven't you challenged them over thre years? It's such a sign of disrespect and you've let it go on long enough it's become an established behaviour. Is that all you expect in life, to be trailing behind your dh as he can't just modify his pace to be gentlemanly? Fgs, I'm mad at everyone who's putting up with this ! It's 2025.

My DSs father did this whilst I was pushed my DS as a baby. Apart from everything else he did to us this clearly signalled contempt and he didn't want to be seen with us. He, waste of oxygen, didn't want to be seen with US. It had never happened to me before (or since).

If you stay I wouldn't go anywhere with him because you are not really anyway.

My dad always did this when we were out as a family. It used to drive my mum insane. I wasn't bothered - after a while I decided he would be on the frontline if he came up against a landmine. In a way, he was protecting us

On the walking issue alone, my dh walks exactly 2 paces ahead of me and speeds up if I speed up. I have some sympathy because our walking paces are different. He does look back though, and I noticed one time recently he walked one pace behind me, so I think he's aware and trying to change it. I do just try to go my own pace now and I know that he'll wait.
A partner doesn't go on to a show without the person they are with, OP. There may indeed be some things you do that he finds annoying, we are all human, but he is choosing to be in a relationship with you and you are worthy of respect and agency.

Mine does this but will wait at intervals. The problem is, when he sees me he doesn’t wait, just starts walking again. He says it’s because I’m slow.

I'd not be putting up with this. Make him send you any on-line tickets for trains/theatres etc so there's always a back up copy. Good practice anyway in case of poor signals and dying phones.

Tell him again that you find his behaviour difficult.
Make your own way to events. I hate rushing and like to be early for things, just by 10minutes will do. Honestly, insist. He's behaving as if he's in charge, whether he is or not is up to you.

I have an ex who used to do this. Some years after we had split I saw him walking down the road with a woman who was clearly his partner. As I watched he suddenly zoomed across the road with no warning, leaving her waiting for a gap in the traffic to follow, and he never looked back. I bet he's still doing it now, the nob.

My husband maintains a three pace gap ahead of me. He doesn't do any of the other things you describe.

He claims it's because he has longer legs than me, but my argument against that is that if thats the reason, then the gap between us would lengthen. But it stays the same.

He also says it's because in his head he's marching to a military beat (ex Royal Navy), but I still don't accept that, as the gap remains constant.

I've given up trying to get him to walk beside me. I do often just "hide" from him, and then act surprised when he has to retrace his steps to find me.

Interesting to read on the thread how many others experience this gapping

Wasn't a pleasant experience