DH walking ahead

I was married to one of these and I discovered my ex husband had an avoidant attachment style. You mentioned anxiety and I'm wondering if he's trying to keep distance between you because he's terrified of getting too close to you and being vulnerable?

Mine was always late or last minute to everything but it was a strategy to avoid closeness (to anyone) He would do things like jumping in the shower when guests were about to arrive at our house and would bury himself in his job and hobbies. It was like living with a lodger. He was rarely ever around but would have long phone calls with me when he was away ie checking I was still there for him.

It destroyed our marriage although he wasn't outwardly aggressive. Very passive aggressive though.

Do you walk at a much slower pace than him? It can be irritating having to walk substantially slower than the other person. I'm a very fast walker compared to my other half. However, when we are together I match her pace because I love her and because I enjoy her company. Sometimes I go out for walks on my own because I do need to stretch my legs properly. I don't need to behave like a cunty twat though.

I'm sorry but I think you are in an abusive relationship. This is ringing alarms bells.
He walks ahead of you and doesn't care, makes you think you are unreasonable, gives you an 'allowance', talks to your children about you.
Get some therapy and support for yourself x

Having now read the whole thread OP, there is far more to this than just an annoying habit of walking ahead of you. It’s just one symptom of a whole bigger problem. He is emotionally and financially abusing you. He has got you convinced that the way he treats you is normal. It’s not. Please get some counselling on your own and speak to Women’s Aid to plan your way out of this awful marriage.

Stop scurrying about behind him like a faithful little puppy dog, ask him to forward you a copy of tickets etc (makes sense anyway in case one of you lose your phone). Let him lose you and enjoy the tranquility of time without the plonker.

Ah, this is where you are going wrong. I always seem to do the booking and keep hold of the tickets. That way I am in control. He can rush ahead as much as he likes but he ain’t getting in without me. So I take my sweet time and he has to wait.

I agree that this is a really annoying habit, especially when you are supposed to be spending time together but he seems to not even acknowledge you are together! I just stopped trotting after him and go at my own pace. I think it’s definitely a control thing.

Other people have noticed it too. DD now tells her Dad off for doing this and always walks with me if he takes off into the distance.

DH has a tendency to do this. One day I just decided not to play along. I now just amble along at my own pace waiting for him to notice I'm not behind him. He has improved 😊

Don’t be daft 😂

My DH is 12 inches taller than me, and my legs are short in proportion to my height. So, if we walk at the same speed, he will very quickly be well ahead of me. He says he finds it just as difficult to slow his natural pace down as I do to speed mine up. We compromise by holding hands or linking each other so he pulls me along or I hold him back 😂

A core memory about people walking ahead has been unlocked for me RTTT.

i had a ‘friend’ who under the guise of being ‘a power walker’ used to walk ahead of me. She humiliated me towards the end of our 5 year or friendship in the worst way a female friend could. I feel some karma as she now lives with her sister in a flat and shags peoples husbands as often as the situation can arise for her.

looking back the ‘walking ahead’ in woman is the same red flag as in men. Narcissism.

You need to do something - like go for a coffee if you see somewhere you like and leave him walking

or head back home

Wow he is rude isn’t he ?

An old friend did this to me on a recent city break and it really hurt my feelings.

I’m short with short legs & can only go so fast. She’s tall and lanky and kept speeding ahead impatiently. I won’t travel with her again.

Why can’t you leave him?

And how old are your children?

Well, you can. Everyone has a choice.

By subjecting your children to this man, you are indirectly abusing them yourself as well. But I suspect you'll stay and the cycle will just continue for them too.

Such a shame.

My DH usually ends up walking in front of me but he does walk faster, it's not intentional and hes not miles ahead. When I notice it, I say something and he slows down.

Your DH would piss me off especially if he had tickets which I need.

You need to leave him.

He is obviously so busy, important, famous and rich that silly little you asking for basic manners and respect as a baseline is being very difficult indeed.

Do you know why you tolerate this?

With everything you've said - and particularly drawing your children in on it - there are red flags.

Are you having therapy on your own? Or together?

it is bloody minded! deliberate and demeaning and if he is not consciously doing it then he/they need consciousness raising therapy and to eat before they leave the house

Years ago I had a supposedly besotted man do this to me in a strange, busy town centre, strode ahead, I had no clue where the car was parked, where I was, had no bearings, was tearful, had a panic attack, leaned against a wall, attrcted passer by attention, suddenly he was in front of me, hands in pockets, looking amused.
He referred to it as my not bring able to keep up while trotting behind him
I drove home that afternoon and didn’t see him for weeks, if only I had extended the separation, if ony I had realised the game, if only I had the wisdom of Mumsnet

DH is similar, he will look back but is always ahead, early on he tried to slow down to my place but gave up because he said it hurts his knees to walk so slow????

Coercive control.

I stoopidly went on a few dates with an mysogynistic Trump loving incel addict a few years ago. He was off the road for drink driving. I brought him to Tesco and waited outside while he did some shopping. The angles of the parking lot are misalligned with the entrance, it's easy to get mildly disoriented when returning to the car park.

I saw him, panicking in the car park, searching for my car. He had loads of heavy shopping and no way home. So I beeped and called him.

He was convinced I had re parked in order to play a trick on him. Teach him a lesson.

I dropped him home, 30 minute drive, I could see him reassesing the parking situation in his head, he was convinced I was lying I had tricked him. He got shitty with me, and dumped me.

Why do sensible women put up with this sh1t?

OP your husband is a bully. Get therapy.