DH walking ahead

Oh dear!
I have read all the OP's posts and apologise if I am repeating another person's thoughts. This post reminded me so much of Harry Judd and his mother on Celebrity Race Around The World. As I remember it, they often had to get up early and get to bus/train stations for the only transport to their next stop.
Harry Judd always held the tickets and would insist on cutting it fine to get to the station. All good for him but his mother had some walking issues and really struggled. It was infuriating to watch this repeat itself. To be honest, after being too soft for too long, his mother tried to stand up for herself but not in a very firm way and he just made no effort to take it on board.
I only hope that people he respects in real life ripped him a new one when it was broadcast and he has changed his ways. I certainly now regard him as an odious twat after having liked him on Strictly.
In your case OP I would just stop going out with him. It sounds so stressful. Also, I would make every effort to get paid work. He is not a man to grow old with.

How is he at home or in other aspects of your relationship- is he caring?

Not condoning this, but I’m a fast walker and DH walks slowly - interestingly we did some dna tests that give traits and I have fast twitch muscles and he doesn’t. I’m built for speed and he’s built for endurance.
I have to deliberately slow down and it’s almost painful in a very restless legs way. He should make an effort to do the same.
Do you think he could have ASD or ADHD?
Is he impatient with things like waiting for food orders or in a waiting room? Restless and impulsive in other ways or just walking?

Yes it really does sound awful. You deserve so much better. I’m sorry this is happening to you.

My autistic boyfriend does do it because he does lack awareness of a lot of things. He is not abusive or narcisstic at all.
Because of this thread, I did ask him why he walks ahead. Some people here had me wondering if he was ashamed of me or something.
No. He used to be a postman so is used to walking fast everywhere. He just lacks that awareness on how it impacts on other people.

Just stop going anywhere with him.

my OH used to do this. I told him clearly many , many , MANY times that I did not
like it but he seemed to think I was joking. His dad used to do the same and it was a running joke in his family and he thought it was funny to do in our relationship too. He's much taller than me and walks faster than I can. Then when he had a very painful knee and was waiting for it to be repaired, I walked about 50 yards in front of him and when he eventually got back to the car where I was waiting, I asked him if he enjoyed our walk "together". Since then he's never done it. I do think these blokes want to continually prove to themselves that they are the leader, the Alpha male and doing this puffs up their fragile ego. It is bloody horrible and very bad manners IMO. I'm with other posters here who say stop, turn around and walk the other way or go into a cafe and have a drink. I know you said that he has hold of the tickets for everything (Alpha male power and control again) but you said you can make arrangements to hold your own tickets and those of your children and make your own way in your own time. But whatever, I would not put up with this treatment anymore. It makes you feel small, valueless, invisible, unimportant and that he doesn't care about you. Awful, rude behaviour. A gentleman he is NOT.

I am sure it is done elsewhere, but we went to Saudi on a compulsory work thing and everywhere you looked, you saw this. I did not see any women walk alongside men and it blew my mind.

I have to pick my DP up on this, he wants to walk fast and has to be reminded that I can't keep up. It's like he doesn't notice, it doesn't seem to be deliberate like he wants to get away.

Reading OP's posts and all the responses on here make me feel glad that I'm not alone.

DH (6.4 tall, long legs) has recently injured his knee and can't walk as fast as usual. It's now him struggling to keep up with me. I could write a long post, but...what a shame

Bloody hell, so many women married to so many thoughtless and/or arrogant men.
I'm a foot shorter and much less fit than DH. If we're out together we always walk side by side, as he adjusts his pace to mine. Or if that's possible he lets me go ahead and he follows me.
That's what a man who loves and respects you would do.

Typical narcissistic behaviour. Next time he tries it, either turn around or go off and do your own thing. Start thinking about other behaviours as well, this won’t be the only one. DD’s partner does it to her. I keep suggesting she should go for a coffee or walk into another shop or generally behave as tho she’s on her own, but no, she scurries along apparently.

My autistic husband doesn't do it.....because he's autistic, not an abusive narcissistic arsehole.

My dh does this. So now I do one of 2 things I either hold his hand or arm in arm which instantly prevents him from going ahead or I stop where I am. I just stop. He soon notices goes back and apologizes

Pretty simple : I would turn on my heels and go do my thing. Don’t let him treat you like this . I would hazard a guess that he is not a nice person to live with.

20 minutes?!

😮

These guys are something else aren’t they??

I remember! I got into a spat with someone who thought the OP should speed up.

My ex did this. Rude fucker. I put it down to his disregard for me and desire to seem publicly disdainful of my feelings or very existence! Cannot believe I used to scuttle behind him trying to chat with him and keep up like a dick.

I had an ex partner like this. Would get up from the table in a restaurant and start walking out while I was still gathering my things etc. even walked off a plane leaving me behind. Now I just have a husband who is constantly getting lost when we are out 😉

100% this. ^

You know nothing about me! How dare you! Perhaps it’s BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN that I know what I’m talking about! You clearly have no clue and decide you know about my life!

Clearly you have never been in an abusive relationship.

Shocked at how many women put up with, and try to rationalise this behaviour! It IS abusive! Trying to say “oh they walk faster” is utter nonsense - I bet most of you walked arm in arm when dating, and managed to keep pace with each other. It IS possible!

Men who do this are telling you one thing; they don’t value you or give a shit about you. Do not allow this behaviour or make excuses for it! Think more of yourself and don’t allow yourself to be second, in any way! It’s just another thing that men get away with doing, casual sexism should be called out at every opportunity!

For those saying “argue back with him” - what a way to live! How exhausting must it be to have to argue with your ‘loved ones’ because they can’t be bothered to walk beside you?! I’m honestly shocked that women think this is a way to live! You DON’T need to live like this, running behind to catch-up to a man - it’s not the 1950s anymore! Stand up for yourselves!

My ex-husband used to do this, it only got worse when we had a first child.
I read an article about how it's a tool narcissistic partners do to prove they're in control and always ahead.
I started disappearing into shops. It would take him AGES to notice. Once we went to town, he was walking off ahead so I saw a coffee shop and went inside with our son. He got to the car before he realised we weren't with him, it had been 20 minutes since we went into the coffee shop.
It brought me great pleasure to do little things like this, mainly cos I hated the prick deep down