Or is DP?

My husband drives a brand new, luxury brand company car. He gets a new one every 18m it’s been in the garage twice for faults that shouldn’t happen with a new car and there’s another fault (rear view mirror leaks) that they just don’t know how to resolve. If he’d paid for it he’d be furious!

Mine we’ve owned 6 years and it’s only ever had routine work done! Never broken down!!

And I have offered options of what she can do now. Convince him to sell the car or transfer the debt to him.

Me too! I drive my cars until they disintegrate into a pile of rust on the mechanics floor. Mine is 12 years old, it's done 150,000 miles, I have the oil and filter changed every 6 months and it works like a trooper. I love the bones of it and I'll be gutted when it finally dies.

And everyone say work is paying £400 a month for PCP cars that they're constantly having to take back with problems and change because the maindealers are only concerned with profit.

You said “I agree. But the time to say or do something is long gone. She should have spoken up before.” she can change her mind. She must have had it a while for the contract to be a point she can break it.

If your DH DC are doing their a levels now by the time your finance agreement is up on the car they will probably be off at uni, have their own car, or be pretty self sufficient. So, I would have a conversation with your DH now, explain your regrets about the size and cost of the car and get an agreement with him they when the finance is up you'll be swapping it in for a smaller more affordable car in the region of £x on the basis it will only be used by you and the children you share.

If you were struggling to afford it I would say get rid now but if you can afford it I would just keep it for now and save your savings. You're more likely to get some change from the trade in at the end of the agreement that you can put towards your new car.

Sell the car. DP buys a new car you both agree on and which will accommodate all his children. You take over some of the bills instead.

Alternatively, have your own cars which you each pay for out of your own money and you split household costs, which again means you taking on more of the bills.

I wouldn’t take the replacement out of your savings though. Otherwise you’ve paid for a car, dh gets the benefit without any payment. And willl you still pay 50% of bills?

id sell it and either car finance a smaller more affordable car 50% each, with dh paying any ‘top up’ for anything he wants that’s fancier. Or use 50% of your savings and dh finances the rest however he wishes?

I’m not disagreeing?

She’s entitled to reassess after a period of time.

I agree. But the time to say or do something is long gone. She should have spoken up before. The only thing to do now is convince him to sell it and sounds like he won’t budge. She keeps talking about the debt and him leaving or dying so the debt part is also what worries her so the way to manage this is to transfer it into his his name.

Because 50% of a bill you don’t want or value is still too much.

You say that you pay about 50/50 for all expenses. So that means your husband also pays about the same amount in other bills. If you are both paying almost equally then what is the problem? You have this debt in your name but your husband presumably has other bills in his name so how is it different for you compared to him? If he dies or leaves then you will be stuck with paying for all bills for yourself anyway. If it’s just the fact that it’s a debt then why don’t you move it to his name and you take another bill that he currently pays in your name so that the debt is his but you are still paying equally.

It does sound very transactional though…are your finances shared?

If DP wants this car and you don't feel happy about it, could you transfer it to his name and you take over a different bill? I agree with you that you shouldn't have a debt in your sole name if you're not happy with that.

IMO car finance is the biggest scam of
modern times. I drive a ten year old car that I’ve had 6 years and will continue to until it gives up the ghost. If he wants to drive a diff car that should be from his money.

Why don’t you calculate what you are paying now then calculate the total amount all bills come to and car if it’s a shared asset as he says it is and divide that by two. Then you’re both paying for the car and maybe you’ll feel better about it.

if you were really against the debt in your name, as you said you should of done something about it as an adult. But if you felt bullied into the car, bully your husband into changing it or him taking a loan to settle the finance and him paying the loan.

your idea of joint comes to me as not joint at all and I’d say if it’s working for you fine but it doesn’t seem to be.

You pay, you decide.

It’s your car and money, have the car you want.

If you're married it effectively is considered joint debt, and would go into the pot to be divvied up*. The car (and any individual savings you have) would also go in the pot, along with house equity, pensions, credit card debt etc.

*Short term you would be responsible for paying the finance If you did split up, but you could just sell the car, so I'm not sure why it's an issue in that regard?

More worrying is why you keep alluding to the fact if you split. Do you plan to? If not then why the constant worry. It’s just a car, enjoy it and pay for it and don’t worry so much

Do you have a second family car that’s big enough to accommodate all the DC? I think if it’s the only car in the household it does need to be big enough for all of you, even if the older DC don’t come out with you as often. Surely if you split up you would just sell it if you didn’t want to keep it for yourself?

The other alternative is to have a joint account for all bills and all bills in joint names.

If it’s a shared car, then it does of course need to be big enough to accommodate whatever children each of you have. Why do you feel it as such a burden - are you struggling to afford the repayments?

If you swap so it essentially becomes a car for you rather than a family car and DP has to get another does it mean they are going to come out of personal spends so you essentially then have to pick up another bill to get back to 50/50 and can you afford that?

What made an impact on me was the Ramsey point about how debt plays on you, even if technically you can afford it. And yes you are right that he should not be pushing the debt on you - but because he has, you are in control now and you can get out of it.