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Original poster

People who has “step mums” - did you see them as equal to your own mum?)if she was present and a good mum)

85 replies

cheekycee · 21/03/2025 19:35

Hi,
so I split from DS father and I am petrified for the day he meets another lady and introduces her to our son. Now I really want him to find a woman he can treat right (hopefully - first time for everything!) & I know how important it is for my son to see healthy relationships. However there is a very selfish and jealous side of me with this and I openly admit it.
my worries are:
what if my son sees her as a mother😢
what if she makes him think he is her son in a way🥺
what if she’s mean to him?!😡
what if she doesn’t like him and takes things out on him!?😟🤬
What if him and her have a mother/son bond😢😢😢

I know I’m being silly but it breaks my heart to think what if someone else takes my son away from me😢😢😢

OP posts:
SometimesCalmPerson · 21/03/2025 19:52

God no, not even close. And my mum is hard work.

Original poster
cheekycee · 21/03/2025 19:51

RentalWoesNotFun · 21/03/2025 19:50

Because your mum is your mum. She gives you unconditional love. Stepmom on the other hand…

Very true. I’m just so insecure about it I know it is wrong and I hate feeling like this

OP posts:
Original poster
cheekycee · 21/03/2025 19:50

PaintYourAssLikeRembrandt · 21/03/2025 19:48

Why would him loving someone else be taking him away from you?

There isn't a finite amount of love available.

I think you need to have a good old think about why your first questions were about if your son would love her, then your next questions are about if she's awful to him.

You want people around him who love and adore him don't you?

Yes absolutely I do. There’s so much more to this but I am just trying to get my points out. I am so insecure about him loving her more which really is pathetic I know and I’m unsure if it’s come from me having an awful relationship with my mother and always longing for another mum, myself. Which is likely the case? I put my all into being a mum and try my best for my kids as my mum didn’t with me so maybe I’m feeling secure because I am projecting? Idk

OP posts:
RentalWoesNotFun · 21/03/2025 19:50

Because your mum is your mum. She gives you unconditional love. Stepmom on the other hand…

TammyJones · 21/03/2025 19:49

RentalWoesNotFun · 21/03/2025 19:46

Nobody could ever replace my mum, certainly not my stepmom.

Exactly.
I had this fear.
my dd saw right through step mum.
I’ll always be no 1

Original poster
cheekycee · 21/03/2025 19:48

RentalWoesNotFun · 21/03/2025 19:46

Nobody could ever replace my mum, certainly not my stepmom.

That’s so nice to say! What is it that makes you feel that way? I think I am worried more as DS is only 1!

OP posts:
PaintYourAssLikeRembrandt · 21/03/2025 19:48

Why would him loving someone else be taking him away from you?

There isn't a finite amount of love available.

I think you need to have a good old think about why your first questions were about if your son would love her, then your next questions are about if she's awful to him.

You want people around him who love and adore him don't you?

RentalWoesNotFun · 21/03/2025 19:46

Nobody could ever replace my mum, certainly not my stepmom.

Original poster
cheekycee · 21/03/2025 19:41

AnneLovesGilbert · 21/03/2025 19:38

I have a step mum and am one. You’re borrowing trouble, deal with it if and when it comes up.

Remember the relationship between your son and his dad is his dad’s responsibility.

I’m just petrified of someone taking my son away from me…

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 21/03/2025 19:38

I have a step mum and am one. You’re borrowing trouble, deal with it if and when it comes up.

Remember the relationship between your son and his dad is his dad’s responsibility.