Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you don’t contribute to the collection you shouldn’t sign the card

111 replies

fartfacenotfatface · 21/03/2025 19:28

I was tasked with organising the office whip-round for a colleague’s special occasion. I shared my bank details on the office WhatsApp and popped a card and my favourite biro in the tea room.
30 people signed the card but only 5 have pinged me any money.
I don’t know why, but it’s bugging me. When we pass on the gift and card, the recipient will no doubt assume that most of the office have contributed when in reality only a small handful have. The cost of the gift is irrelevant here as one office member has been especially generous with their contribution so we can still buy a nice gift. I’ve not disclosed to anyone information about many people have contributed.

YABU - anyone can sign the card. It’s the thought that counts.
YANBU - you should only sign the card if you’ve contributed to the collection for the gift.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 21/03/2025 19:36

Quitelikeit · 21/03/2025 19:32

If this is happening I would create a list of names at the beginning of the year

Go around the whole office and ask if they want to be part of the birthday club

Collect £2.50 from each - tick their name off

Those who don’t pay to join don’t get a card or gift and your list goes on the wall of who is in the birthday club

The 2.50 each will be used to buy the cards

Alternatively a nice little post it near the card in staff room

‘please only sign if you contributed’

A birthday club like that worked well at one of my last workplaces.

RaininSummer · 21/03/2025 19:36

I think people prefer dropping an unknown amount in an envelope to avoid embarrassment if they only want to put a quid in for whatever reason. So its difficult about the signing as if only 5 sign the card it will look sad .

Threecraws · 21/03/2025 19:36

Having to do bank transfer is probably putting people off. Or they signed, thinking I'll do it later then forget.

PassingStranger · 21/03/2025 19:33

Simple don't be the organiser then you won't have the worry.
Let someone else do it.

SawItOnTikTok · 21/03/2025 19:33

Set up a proper way of contributing like one of them online gift card contributions. I wouldn’t transfer money into a colleagues account to contribute to a gift.

also not everyone can afford to put in - if everyone did but someone only put a couple of quid in you’d be on here moaning so they’re getting judged whatever they do.

Quitelikeit · 21/03/2025 19:32

If this is happening I would create a list of names at the beginning of the year

Go around the whole office and ask if they want to be part of the birthday club

Collect £2.50 from each - tick their name off

Those who don’t pay to join don’t get a card or gift and your list goes on the wall of who is in the birthday club

The 2.50 each will be used to buy the cards

Alternatively a nice little post it near the card in staff room

‘please only sign if you contributed’

Ddakji · 21/03/2025 19:31

Well, for a start I wouldn’t have used my own bank account for this, everyone at my work uses an online payment platform (go fund me maybe).

I think you sound a bit precious about it, to be honest. “My favourite biro”? Popping and pinging??

Sprookjesbos · 21/03/2025 19:31

Hmmm I think I agree with you. But yes a cash option usually helps

Jeezitneverends · 21/03/2025 19:31

It’s the week before payday for a lot of people, things might be getting a bit tight

HomeBodyClub · 21/03/2025 19:30

I don’t think it matters.
You’d probably get more contribution if they could chuck some change in an envelope. Some people don’t want to share bank details or cba setting up a new recipient.

Newtess · 21/03/2025 19:30

It's difficult. I can't afford to give a tenner to people in other departments but do wish them well.

Swipe left for the next trending thread