If you don’t contribute to the collection you shouldn’t sign the card

This happened to me. 17 years of me putting I'm 20, for weddings, baby showers, first day back flowers, when it came to my turn, not the same love. I was able to weed out the bad, and learned never to put too much into something ever again!

I hate doing collections for this very reason.

It also feels fake to me, you either like the person enough to donate or you don't, so don't pretend you do by signing the bloody card.

Before anyone says they may not have the money, in my experience it's the ones on higher salaries that do it more (and they think nothing of buying a couple of expensive coffees during the day).

But how would the recipient know who contributed to the gift? A solution would be to have a card with the gift so a large gift tag and then a greetings card from all.

That's probably what they'd prefer. Have you ever asked? Before you waste energy feeling petty towards them

But they aren't signing their name on a gift card, or a register of donors.

They are wishing the person well, in the card from all of their colleagues.

@greengreyblue - your experience is very different to mine. Putting in to a collection is optional (and anonymous - hence why many prefer cash). Separately, colleagues can choose to send their wishes in the card that is going from the team.

I’m with you. We are a small team and occasionally will do card/collection for special occasion and what I find is there’s always the same 2 people who never contribute.

i just let it go and as I tend to be the only person who organizes anything, I won’t for them if something comes up.

i don’t care if it’s petty.

Buy another card for the people to sign who gave money. Give that card and the gift together.

Give the other card separately.

If you have a large envelope with the card in and suggest a £2 donation you would probably find a lot more people contribute.

I think if they don’t contribute then they can buy their own card. It otherwise looks like your trying to take credit where credit isn’t due.

Get them a card or tell them so yourself.

No

Ugh what a loser!

It depends what would make the recipient happy. Some would enjoy messages more than a gift

Yes this annoys me too. Doesn't happen too often but there is one person in particular who never contributes to anything and always signs the card. It's the same person who is first up to eat the treats that others bring in, but never brings in treats herself

I can understand you expected more people to donate, but the situation wouldn't be any better if less people signed the card.

I think it is really mean to want to exclude someone from signing a card because they haven’t contributed to the gift. You don’t know the struggles that person may be going through. They may be trying to ensure their children have what they need, or they could be struggling to ensure their mortgage is paid.
I have done the collections for colleagues birthdays and I know how embarrassing it can be for a person to not be able to afford to contribute. Maybe have a little compassion towards others and know you have helped them rather than get arsey!

I think the answer is always to have a card for well-wishers to sign and a separate card attached to the gift which just those who've contributed to it can sign.

This.

I work in a large department of 65 people and I don't even know some of them as they work in different offices or fully remote and I sometimes don't put into collections but if I'm asked to sign a card a may sign it. Should I not if I'm not contributing?

Go round with an envelope in future, op.
I wouldn’t send a bank transfer to a colleague’s personal bank a/c for another colleague’s birthday present.

Agreed!
There are 600 people I my office when we're all in, of which I probably know 200 and wish them well when they have a birthday, get married, have a baby, pass an exam, retire etc

Cards are to share well wishes, they don't need to be connected to the present.
If it bothers you that much then make sure the present has a gift tag and sign it from those who gave it.

I liked it at one of my old workplaces. A card would go round the entire office on a birthday for everyone to sign but there would be no
collection. The only time an envelope for donations would go round would be a significant birthday or retirement and that happened about 4 times over 2.5 years.

In our individual teams, we normally did a separate card with the option to donate for a pressie but no pressure if money was tight. We also used to have really fun Secret Santa’s, I miss it all actually 😂 🎅

Honestly i couldnt get worked up about this. I dont think it matters. Sometimes its just a faff and not a priority for people.

YABU I work in a department with 300 other people! I can’t afford to contribute to every single collection, but I’ll happily wish them well in a card.

To me this sounds like hell. Both dp and I work in teams that send email cards for birthdays with no cost. I value the ability to contribute what I genuinely want to to a gift - I aim to give more than average because I'm older with more money, but also when a longstanding and beloved colleague leaves I want to give £30, whereas when Nasty the sour faced locum departs I might chuck in £3. I also think it's nice to see lots of names in a card when you go, even if the fund only runs to a bunch of daffs.