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Original poster

What is it like to have a good mum?

67 replies

cheekycee · 21/03/2025 18:58

what is it like having a Good mother?
I mean this wanting 0 sympathy etc please don’t get me wrong.
it’s just I sat down this evening and thought… well I actually have no one to go to with my problems or to vent to. But is that not usually your mum? Then I thought, I wonder what’s it’s like to have the feeling of having a “mum”. My mum is alive. In fact I live with her (temporarily due to fleeing DV) but she doesn’t speak to me (not important).
im a great mum to my kids and always will be as although I don’t know what it is like to have a good mum I definitely don’t want them to wonder what it is like also.
is it really like having a best friend? Does your mum help you out? Give advice etc? Make you feel loved etc?? Just curious :)

OP posts:
Original poster
cheekycee · 21/03/2025 19:08

APurpleSquirrel · 21/03/2025 19:07

Same - DM has been gone for nearly 13 years & I miss her everyday. Since having children of my own it’s been even harder, wishing I could talk to her about being a mother, about what my brother & I were like, & just to get that unconditional love & support.

Show quote history

I’m sorry to hear that❤️. I’m sure she would be proud of how you’re doing as a mother x

OP posts:
PassingStranger · 21/03/2025 19:08

DaisyChain505 · 21/03/2025 19:05

Mine left me to live in another country when I was 10. We still send each other emails every few weeks but it’s all very much small talk.

She hasn’t been to visit me or my siblings for 10+ years and didn’t come to my wedding.

I don’t think she was meant to be a mum and she doesn’t see what she’s done as wrong.

I hope you manage to heal and realise that your worth isn’t calculated by how your mother views or treats you.

Edited

Why don't you suggest going to see her what would happen?

APurpleSquirrel · 21/03/2025 19:07

sommerjade · 21/03/2025 19:00

It was amazing & I miss her so much

Same - DM has been gone for nearly 13 years & I miss her everyday. Since having children of my own it’s been even harder, wishing I could talk to her about being a mother, about what my brother & I were like, & just to get that unconditional love & support.

Original poster
cheekycee · 21/03/2025 19:06

DaisyChain505 · 21/03/2025 19:05

Mine left me to live in another country when I was 10. We still send each other emails every few weeks but it’s all very much small talk.

She hasn’t been to visit me or my siblings for 10+ years and didn’t come to my wedding.

I don’t think she was meant to be a mum and she doesn’t see what she’s done as wrong.

I hope you manage to heal and realise that your worth isn’t calculated by how your mother views or treats you.

Edited

I am so sorry you went through that. That must have been so hard for you and your siblings. I’m glad that you have now found love though and I hope you’re happily married.

OP posts:
shellyleppard · 21/03/2025 19:06

@cheekycee i think sometimes no matter how much you love your mum, you have to go low or no contact. Hard as it is

Original poster
cheekycee · 21/03/2025 19:05

Philandbill · 21/03/2025 19:03

She's not my best friend and I don't want her to be, but I know that she absolutely loves me and would give her right arm for me or my brother or her grandchildren. She always wants the best for me. She hasn't always understood my choices but she has always, always loved me. I have always felt utterly sure of that.

That’s so lovely I’m so glad you felt that from your mother and no questions about the fact you felt loved. I love that! 🥰

OP posts:
DaisyChain505 · 21/03/2025 19:05

Mine left me to live in another country when I was 10. We still send each other emails every few weeks but it’s all very much small talk.

She hasn’t been to visit me or my siblings for 10+ years and didn’t come to my wedding.

I don’t think she was meant to be a mum and she doesn’t see what she’s done as wrong.

I hope you manage to heal and realise that your worth isn’t calculated by how your mother views or treats you.

Original poster
cheekycee · 21/03/2025 19:04

wackywombat35 · 21/03/2025 19:03

Both of my parents have passed away and I'm 35 my parents was always there for me
Is there any way at all you can try do things with your mum spend time together

She’s abusive towards me and my belongings and very neglectful. There’s no resuscitating our relationship at this stage. She’s 64 in 30

OP posts:
Original poster
cheekycee · 21/03/2025 19:03

spicemaiden · 21/03/2025 19:02

God knows. She and my spineless father set yhd blueprint for how I thought I deserved to be treated.

you can imagine how thats gone

I’m so sorry😞💔. I hope you find peace one day

OP posts:
Philandbill · 21/03/2025 19:03

She's not my best friend and I don't want her to be, but I know that she absolutely loves me and would give her right arm for me or my brother or her grandchildren. She always wants the best for me. She hasn't always understood my choices but she has always, always loved me. I have always felt utterly sure of that.

wackywombat35 · 21/03/2025 19:03

Both of my parents have passed away and I'm 35 my parents was always there for me
Is there any way at all you can try do things with your mum spend time together

spicemaiden · 21/03/2025 19:02

God knows. She and my spineless father set yhd blueprint for how I thought I deserved to be treated.

you can imagine how thats gone

KellySeveride · 21/03/2025 19:01

Fucked if I know….mine buggered off when I was 5.

Original poster
cheekycee · 21/03/2025 19:00

sommerjade · 21/03/2025 19:00

It was amazing & I miss her so much

❤️

OP posts:
Original poster
cheekycee · 21/03/2025 19:00

Iwilladmit · 21/03/2025 18:59

Oh great question. I would also love to know.

I’m sorry you’re in this boat also. Hopefully you have someone in your life to make you feel loved x

OP posts:
sommerjade · 21/03/2025 19:00

It was amazing & I miss her so much

Iwilladmit · 21/03/2025 18:59

Oh great question. I would also love to know.

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