To ask how to teach boys how to respect women?

DH grew up with a working mum, he saw his dad do housework, cooking, shopping, laundry etc. DH in turn now does an equal part of domestic life (he actually does all the cooking). My career is equally important as DH’s and he’ll do his bit in terms of taking days off with sick DC. I hope DS grows up with DH’s and FIL’s respect for women.

It’s about modelling good behaviour .

For me though it is fundamentally about treating all people equally - no discrimination negative or positive - naive perhaps .

I think there is a problem with some young men being made to feel that they are less valuable and that is part of the problem . Fully expect people not to agree with me

Do not allow yourself to be disrespected - not by your husband/partner or your own children (girls as well as boys). They need to see that this type of behaviour will be called out and not overlooked.

Be honest - how many times as women do we gloss over disrespectful behaviour in the name of "keeping the peace" or because we don't want to make a fuss/cause a scene? Be more mindful and stop tolerating it.

Treat them well and others, especially their father. DF should be supportive but equally not a pushover. Speak positively and kindly of others.

Check that your expectations are high enough. Compare to what is expected of the best behaved children.

i was at a school concert last week - little girls shushed when they talked or wriggled noisily. Little boy next to them wasn’t hushed until he was making a lot of noise, moving between seats and repeatedly bashing people’s knees.

My boys saw dh do everything that I do to run a house.
I worked shifts so they saw their dad, shop, cook tea, do homework with them, wash clothes etc.
They saw their dad treat me kindly. He looked after me when I was ill or tired. All this became normal to them
Everyone's opinions was asked for and valued.

I think one of the most important things a male role model can do for a boy is show up ( for girls too but we are specifically talking about lads), let them know they are valued BUT not entitled.
Any sense of entitlement from my lads ( well one of them in particular) was quashed immediately.
They are in their mid 20s now and they have turned out really well. I love seing their dads behaviour in them when they are with their girlfriends.

So in short I think actions speak louder than words and if there is a positive and strong g male role model, the better.

As a side note, I think it is hugely important for a teen, particularly males to have a hobby/ interest/ sport that they are passionate about, whether it's football, boxing, cadets whatever. It gives them a focus and and outlet and also to be around like minded peers. You will know where they are and they are in a safe environment.

Can you clarify what you mean? The only demonising I see is of their bad behaviour/conduct.

^ I agree with all the above suggestions about raising boys. However, the constant demonising of boys and young men also needs to stop.

Model the behaviour ensure there's an equal balance for domestic chores and child rearing in the home. Allow them to have hobbies/interests of all nature even if you think they're more 'feminine'. Don't label jobs for men/women same ways colours etc

We have conversations about consent with our 13yr old boy, not sexual consent (yet) but stuff like ‘if your sister is saying ‘stop’ then you listen and stop immediately’. We’ve talked about how women were treated in the past and to an extent still are and the battles we went through for equal rights. I talk about how I feel as a woman walking home alone in the dark (this shocked him), since then he’s offered to walk with me if it’s dark and I’m heading out. Try and make sure we don’t create boy / girl roles, eg when dividing up household tasks.

Women are going to have to double down on self-respect. This needs modelling first and foremost.

I'm going to add to my reply. I have to think am I respectful to women and myself too. Do I say stuff like dismiss someone as a Karen, or talk about women's clothes disparagingly, or call people shrill, hysterical, bossy etc.

I think a lot of it has to come from them seeing other men doing this.

This is my main hope as my teenager boys are surrounded by toxic masculinity.
DH is annoying in lots of ways but very respectful of me, my successes and respectful of women in general.
I despair sometimes with the stuff my boys say but I am hoping they will grow out of this phase and be decent people.
We chat and "debate" a lot about things so they are not holed up in their rooms just on Tiktok.

It might be a bit outdated now but I really liked the book Raising Boys when my son was young.

Model the behaviour.

If you have a partner/their dad make sure they are treating you with respect and as an equal partner.