Work colleague said she wants to s**g my husband

This is a really good point actually

You need to work on your boundaries. Just because someone asks you an inappropriate question about your sex life doesn't mean you're forced to answer it. The time to shut down that conversation was when she asked how much sex you were having.

I'd rip the piss out of her for that when she is sober. She'd hate it. Not in a you can't have my husband way / you're nothing way, but in a how it was utterly inappropriate and what else does she say when drunk way. In a subtle dig at not being able to handle her drink. It'd be brilliant as she won't remember and you can hint she was even more outrageous - she won't know.

You shouldn’t be embarrassed OP. You’ve done nothing wrong - your colleague overstepped by even asking about your postpartum sex life and then REALLY overstepped by saying what she did.

Please try not to feel bad about how much or how little you’re having sex after giving birth not even a year ago and still breastfeeding. I would hope your colleague would be absolutely mortified the next morning when she wakes up hungover with beer fear. If you feel uncomfortable about returning to this sort of environment, I would raise that that conversation made you feel really uncomfortable and you won’t be discussing DH at work again. Do feel you can raise formally as well if you choose to.

Bet she's dying of embarrassment now.
I'd honestly forget about it.

How embarrassing for her. Bet she'll cringe when she sobers up (or remembers it years later when she's on maternity leave). It's clearly touched a nerve for you right now, but just try to laugh it off. She was drunk, young and doesn't have a clue!

Be honest, have you ever said or done anything embarrassing when you were pissed? I know I have! Cut her some slack and just forget about it.

...she was very attractive. But it was the saying it out loud bit to me which was the wtf moment.

I'd leave it for now, and give her the benefit of the doubt. If she said any other comments in the future, I'd be telling her that she's crossed a line. Her problem - not yours.

People are bizarre though. I've got a few comments that drunk colleagues have said that live in my head. Not that they upset me, more that I can't believe they said it. One colleague told me that it was hard for her to stay faithful because she was so conventionally attractive that men always came on to her. That one pops up quite often. 😆

This^
I don’t think anyone will be able to look at her the same again. I would certainly avoid a colleague who behaved like this. She showed herself to be such an idiot.

Well it's definitely inappropriate. But she sounds like she was hammered and either won't remember or will and will be absolutely mortified! If she hasn't even met him, sounds like she's seen a picture and commented to someone he's hot and now in her pissed up state thinks it's funny to tell you. But has gone wildly overboard! You might want to give her a wide berth in future, but you don't actually have to see her for months I wouldn't worry about it.

She was just pissed and thinking about sex in a general sense. She’s not even met your husband.

You’re feeling bad because you aren’t having sex. You aren’t a service bot. Have sex when you feel sexy (that’s as much up to your husband as you).

Was she actually saying that about your husband specifically, or rather crudely trying to give you relationship advice in a 'if I were you, I would be doing this...' sort of way?

You're not hormonal for finding this comment unpalatable. Imagine if that was a male colleague talking about someone's wife, nobody would be ok with that. If she doesn't wake up feeling mortified and apologies, have a chat to her maybe, but not if it'll stress you out more.

Assuming your work colleague remembers what she said to you regarding your husband, she should be mortified. Thinking someone's partner is attractive is one thing, telling his other half you'd like to shag him, is quite another! She was highly inappropriate, disrespectful and bloody rude, but she was obviously very drunk too. I'm guessing sober, this colleague wouldn't have dreamt of making such a statement to you? If that's the case, then you need to put it down to inappropriate drunk behaviour. With a bit of luck, another colleague will reminder her what she said to you, and if anyone should dread you coming back to work, it's her! Your husband chose to marry and have a child with you, no one else. That means, he loves and wants to be with you. You have every right to be annoyed with your colleague, but don't let it upset you. Your colleague clearly has zero understanding of parenthood either!!!

She sounds very immature and obviously has all the harsh realities of motherhood awaiting her later in life if she becomes a mum. Don’t let it get to you. It’s a shame women can’t support each other. Some young women are clueless about what it’s like to be older.

She’s probably thought it would be a compliment, drunkenly not realising how disrespectful it was to you. She might potentially wake up feeling regretful in which case she should apologise for overstepping the line.

Yes, I wouldn’t give it another thought. She was being dopey and drunk. Her issue.

She was gross and inappropriate as she was making sexual comments about your husband. I don't really see why it would make YOU feel bad though, it wasn't a comment against you or really about you at all I dont think, it was a very tasteless way of saying she is attracted to your husband.

Fucking hell! 'raise it with HR'. Christ, I wouldn't want you on my team !

That's bloody cowardly. If you have a problem with someone, the adult thing is to actually raise it with that person first ! Then you escalate up if you get no joy !

As for reporting a colleagues drunken back hander about your DH being a big of a looker, no way !

I'd take it as a compliment! You chose well !

I couldn't get too worked up about it. She was pissed up and got loose lipped.

If it was someone much closer to home like your sister or best mate , I'd be slightly more concerned. But if it's someone who's not coming into regular contact with your DH, just forget it.

I mean this in a non offensive way : but I think this has tapped into your own insecurities at this vulnerable time (young baby, post baby body, no time or inclination for sex, and a 'dry' period) it's suddenly probably made you feel aware that you're not having much sex and someone has reminded you that your DH is a sexual being.

Don't overthink it. Things will get back on track for you and your DH. Babies are bloody gorgeous, but they are all consuming. Most new mothers aren't swinging from chandeliers with their partners.

As for her comment, just think no more of it now. She'll be mortified when she wakes up

Bleugh. The bent over comment. Tell me he's fit but I don't want to hear the graphic details. I'd be cool but make a gentle dig about minding manners...

All of these people who say you should take it as a compliment - would you be as happy about it if your husbands work colleague described having sex with you in such detail?
Its just grim and in no way a compliment (although I am sure your H is lovely OP)

Obviously she was uncouth (and very unprofessional!) but I don't really understand why it made you feel like shit. I would just feel quite smug at having a hot husband, in your shoes.

Gosh what a crass idiot she is. If you wanted to you’d be entitled to raise this with hr or management. This is a social event with work, it’s an extension of the workplace and this crap is not acceptable. Can you imagine if a bunch of males coworkers were out drinking and one of them starting talking like this about another’s wife, “yeah I’d do her like this”. Er no.

She needs to be told to grow the fuck up.

It sounds like a compliment delivered in an immature and drunken way. I bet she wants the ground to swallow her now!!!

It doesn't sound like it was anything directed about you and I would try not to let it impact your self confidence or anything (easier said than done!)