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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this child should have been kept off school (nits)?!!!

213 replies

WiseFinch · 21/03/2025 17:17

I am a teaching assistant and have been working with early years this week. Child informs me that they had “fleas in their hair” and had to have special shampoo last night.,
My first reaction was to keep a wide berth but this is absolutely impossible with a 4 year old.

Through the course of the day, it is very clear that this child still has a raging case of nits and is itching their head - and also hanging off me every five minutes for a cuddle… This was two days ago and now my head is itching. I did not have close contact for very long and it wasn’t head to head, plus my hair was up, but I’m now absolutely paranoid I’ve got nits - and I’m sure they’ll be going around the whole class as we speak.

I am new-ish to this job and don’t have kids myself, but surely you should keep your child off until all of the nits are gone? It’s not a case of neglect here, family are well to do and are quite nice people! So I am fully prepared to be told IABU. What does everyone think???

OP posts:
MaryMalone25 · 21/03/2025 18:49

Stealthmodemama · 21/03/2025 18:39

Lock down was a prime time to get rid of nits - if every parent had treated their child - we could have erridaticated the vile things.

Some children never get clear and are always crawling - in one school I worked in - we were not meant to tell parents we could see the nits - as it was 'against the pupils rights'.

I used to show the parents and ask them to treat them.

I got nits off a child once - and told my OH (who kept checking my head).. he could never find any.. went home to my mums - and said 'I can feel them - here... here... here.." and each time she pulled a juicy one off my head! Same partner could not find them on his own kids either..

If you use t-tree shampoo it can deter them from finding you.

In one school I worked in, I could see them walking around in a blonde head of hair. In another school I worked in, they were falling onto the child’s sweatshirt.

NotARealWookiie · 21/03/2025 18:46

No. It’s not a sick day for lice and this child has told you her mum treated her with special shampoo so she doesn’t have lice to give you…

Dagnabit · 21/03/2025 18:46

You sound very young and dramatic 🤣😂 It’s nits, not gonorrhea!

MaryMalone25 · 21/03/2025 18:46

FKAT · 21/03/2025 17:57

Oh leave the OP alone. She's said she's new to the role and at least has a sense of humour about our gross and disgusting kids. TAs are to be treasured. 😊

I agree.

Stealthmodemama · 21/03/2025 18:39

WiseFinch · 21/03/2025 17:19

Wow, seriously??? That seems utterly insane to me!! So does the cycle literally just repeat through all 30 kids and then to siblings and family? This is crazy to me, sorry!!

Lock down was a prime time to get rid of nits - if every parent had treated their child - we could have erridaticated the vile things.

Some children never get clear and are always crawling - in one school I worked in - we were not meant to tell parents we could see the nits - as it was 'against the pupils rights'.

I used to show the parents and ask them to treat them.

I got nits off a child once - and told my OH (who kept checking my head).. he could never find any.. went home to my mums - and said 'I can feel them - here... here... here.." and each time she pulled a juicy one off my head! Same partner could not find them on his own kids either..

If you use t-tree shampoo it can deter them from finding you.

Readyforseptember · 21/03/2025 18:34

Every time nits get into our house it's about 10 days to clear. Can't keep kids off school for 10 days!

MesmerisingMuon · 21/03/2025 18:34

WiseFinch · 21/03/2025 18:25

This is actually rather reassuring as the day I worked with this child I’d curled my hair and doused it with hairspray..!!!

If you work in a primary school then a good nit comb is essential! Just brush your hair through morning and night and do this on a regular basis.

I have twins in the same class and one twin always gets nits and the other doesn't. Oddly the sainsburys own brand nit treatment worked the best.

As long as the nits are being treated then that's fine. The teacher should phone home and check, and also send a message out asking ALL parents to check their child's hair.

I teach in a secondary school and once had to send a Y7 child home whose hair was crawling with nits. They had clearly had them for some time and the parents were too busy to notice.

AngelinaFibres · 21/03/2025 18:32

WiseFinch · 21/03/2025 17:42

Apparently not?😂 I’ve only worked in nurseries and I’ve never had to deal with nits… and worms?!!!!!! What on earth? Please tell me adults cannot get worms from kids, unless you are wiping bottoms which I always did with a glove? Never seen kids with worms ever!

They will all have worms constantly . And so will you. Get some pills for threadworms so you can treat yourself as soon as your bum itches.

Silvertulips · 21/03/2025 18:30

Buy tea tree oil from the chemist and put it in your shampoo and conditioner. It keeps them off.

Also, try the Avon skin so soft - spray it on dry hair and comb, hair isn’t greacy ant it washes out really well.

Snorlaxo · 21/03/2025 18:30

When combing my kids, I started with behind the ears and the hairline at the back as that’s the warmest bit of the head so most likely to be infected.

AngelinaFibres · 21/03/2025 18:28

WiseFinch · 21/03/2025 17:19

Wow, seriously??? That seems utterly insane to me!! So does the cycle literally just repeat through all 30 kids and then to siblings and family? This is crazy to me, sorry!!

I was a teacher . Nits never got into my hair despite also having 2 children of my own who repeatedly had them. I did get worms regularly and a child gave me scabies when I was on teaching practice. Keep your hair up and invest in a nit comb so you can check your hair regularly.

Namechangefordaughterevasion · 21/03/2025 18:27

Lol at keeping kids off school for lice. It's just part of the primary school process I'm afraid.

From DD1 starting primary to DD2 entering Y4 8 years later nits were a constant part of our life. I'd wash and condition and comb and comb and they'd be clear and then a month later they'd be reinfected. In the end I just surrendered and nit combed after every hair wash as a matter of routine.

i had one fabulous electric nit comb that frazzled any nits or lice it encountered. That was very satisfying.

GRex · 21/03/2025 18:27

We never had nits as kids. I learned from DN that they wash out with loads of conditioner, and suspect that is why. Mum was a bit ahead of her time on the hair care stuff. Nit comb if you're a direct risk or actually have them. DS has never caught them, so being a boy with short hair is also a good deterrent. As you can't quickly become a small boy, I recommend tons of conditioner and use a nit comb tonight before any lay eggs. Do not wash out conditioner until after the nit comb. Remember it could be psychosomatic where you're itching but have nothing, so don't injure your head by over-combing!!

If you don't have a nit comb nor nearby pharmacy, ask your local/street facebook/whatsapp group, they are so cheap and people will recognise the urgency to be happy to pass on.

WiseFinch · 21/03/2025 18:25

protectthesmallones · 21/03/2025 18:06

this will be a regular occurrence in younger year groups. Nothing you can do to prevent them attending.

I learned from a hairdresser to wear hair up and spray very thickly so it’s almost wet with a can of ordinary hair spray. Especially the nape of the neck and up the sides.

I’d also be asking for this to go in a newsletter. The little critters don’t like hairspray and are much less likely to climb onto a new head.

This is actually rather reassuring as the day I worked with this child I’d curled my hair and doused it with hairspray..!!!

OP posts:
SalfordQuays · 21/03/2025 18:24

You need tea tree conditioner and a Nitty Gritty comb. That’s the only brand of comb that worked for my kids.

LBFseBrom · 21/03/2025 18:24

No child should hae to stay off school with nits, that's ridiculous. They are easy to get rid of, there should be a standard letter sent to all parents about how to do it. If this one child has them, others do too. Teachers also catch them, it's part of school life. Head lice are no respecter of persons.

Topsyturvy78 · 21/03/2025 18:21

I caught them off my DC. They kept coming back with hedrin and full marks. What stopped them getting them again was washing with tea tree shampoo and wet combing with tea tree conditioner. Used it all the time they hate the smell.

ShiiiiiiiiiitDinosaur · 21/03/2025 18:19

Pedanticiknow · 21/03/2025 18:16

OP, at the risk of living up to my username please can I gently point out that the child was not "itching their head". Their head was itching so they were scratching it. Please don’t teach children the wrong words! (It’s like people saying "He borrowed me some money" instead of "he lent me some money".)

I need you in my life ❤️

VerySkilledFirefighter · 21/03/2025 18:19

Iknowaboutpopular · 21/03/2025 17:27

How many years ago was that then? Because I have an 18 year old and that's never been a thing.

I’m 36 and it wasn’t a thing when I was at school either.

MaryMalone25 · 21/03/2025 18:18

I started teaching primary children in 1994, never had nits although I did get threadworms. DD got her first nits in Reception - there was another child in the class whose parents didn’t bother combing them out. They were never sent home.

My colleague who was a Science teacher did a controlled experiment with 20 live lice in a dish of water and 20 live lice in a dish of nit lotion, left them for 12 hours overnight and all 40 were alive in the morning.

I tried Nitty Gritty, tea tree oil, tea tree shampoo, chemical lotions, electric zapping combs, conditioner, neem oil, olive oil, tying hair back, plaits, GHDs. After seven years I had realised the only thing that worked was nightly combing with plain conditioner and the white plastic combs. Hedrin was better than the chemical lotions but it gets expensive over seven years.

It is a bit of a shock at first because “people like us” don’t get headlice … but it turns out we do.

ShiiiiiiiiiitDinosaur · 21/03/2025 18:18

Nits are the least of your problems and if you had children you would understand😂

OldGothsFadeToGrey · 21/03/2025 18:18

Iknowaboutpopular · 21/03/2025 17:27

How many years ago was that then? Because I have an 18 year old and that's never been a thing.

Wasn’t a thing 40 odd years ago when I was catching them either. Nitty gritty and derbac 😂

Barney16 · 21/03/2025 18:17

Very tight plaits if your hair is long enough, always stand above a child, never let your head go near theirs, buy a nit comb, buy really cheap conditioner and soak your hair then comb with nit comb. Good luck OP.

Pedanticiknow · 21/03/2025 18:16

OP, at the risk of living up to my username please can I gently point out that the child was not "itching their head". Their head was itching so they were scratching it. Please don’t teach children the wrong words! (It’s like people saying "He borrowed me some money" instead of "he lent me some money".)

x2boys · 21/03/2025 18:16

WiseFinch · 21/03/2025 17:39

Please tell me you’re not serious 😭😭😭 WHAT ABOUT THEM!?😭😭

Yeah my son got threadworms when he was in nursery 🤮
School said still send him in.

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