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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this child should have been kept off school (nits)?!!!

213 replies

WiseFinch · 21/03/2025 17:17

I am a teaching assistant and have been working with early years this week. Child informs me that they had “fleas in their hair” and had to have special shampoo last night.,
My first reaction was to keep a wide berth but this is absolutely impossible with a 4 year old.

Through the course of the day, it is very clear that this child still has a raging case of nits and is itching their head - and also hanging off me every five minutes for a cuddle… This was two days ago and now my head is itching. I did not have close contact for very long and it wasn’t head to head, plus my hair was up, but I’m now absolutely paranoid I’ve got nits - and I’m sure they’ll be going around the whole class as we speak.

I am new-ish to this job and don’t have kids myself, but surely you should keep your child off until all of the nits are gone? It’s not a case of neglect here, family are well to do and are quite nice people! So I am fully prepared to be told IABU. What does everyone think???

OP posts:
Gettingbysomehow · 21/03/2025 19:24

I used to get nits off my friends children then give it to my then husband. We both have waist length hair so treatment was an absolute bitch involving several bottles followed by mutual grooming like monkeys. It used to piss me right off.

Booboobagins · 21/03/2025 19:23

Schools used to insist kids stayed off with nits and I agree @WiseFinch responsible parents would keep their kids off school with nits.

TeamGeriatric · 21/03/2025 19:22

Not long after my daughter started nursery she caught nits, I didn't notice for ages, and by the time I did realise, they were rampant in her hair, the baby had them and so did I. I didn't find treatments very effective, I used to just cake her hair in conditioner and comb it through in sections with a nit comb. I would do this every other day for weeks and eventually you stop finding them, if you don't find any say two comb throughs in row I feel like we are done. I did the same to myself. It's not that hard to get out most/all of the nits, but the eggs are much more of a challenge, almost certainly some get missed if you comb once, and obviously they eventually hatch, the nits are back and you are back at square one. Luckily for me she only caught them once more in 7 years of primary school. The youngest has avoided them since being a baby. There were though always quite a number of parents complaining they had treated their kids and 2 weeks later the same child had caught nits again. Threadworm is a different battle, that's been through our household more times than I like to remember.

spicemaiden · 21/03/2025 19:19

You need to work in a different sector

BusyExpert · 21/03/2025 19:17

As a preventative measure buy a large bottle of cheap conditioner and regularly spread it thickly on your and children's hair and run a nit comb through it. Saves using the chemical stuff
My head of school nursing always recommended this and it works.

Candyflosslatte · 21/03/2025 19:16

I kept my dc off for it so I could
treat them properly in one day and get every single louse and egg out. For their own comfort as much as to stop the spread .

Hoardasurass · 21/03/2025 19:16

WiseFinch · 21/03/2025 17:30

I’m really new to the job and never worked in schools before, only nurseries, but maybe I’ve just been lucky! I don’t know the policies etc as I don’t deal with parents I’m only part time.

It's your job to know the policy regarding your sick leave/days off whether you are part time or full time. Really any sensible person should know that nits are a fact of life in primary school and no you don't get time off for them

ShiiiiiiiiiitDinosaur · 21/03/2025 19:15

WiseFinch · 21/03/2025 18:25

This is actually rather reassuring as the day I worked with this child I’d curled my hair and doused it with hairspray..!!!

Wear your hair up, the best solution is always the most obvious one.

TheignT · 21/03/2025 19:15

Gruttenberg · 21/03/2025 18:59

In the 1980s my kids were in primary. At that time a Nit Nurse was employed (I'm sure that wasn't her official title) who went round every primary school and checked heads.

Every single kid who had nits was excluded until it had been treated. In those days we also had to remove every egg from their hair before they were allowed back in after the Nit Nurse had checked them again.
I still remember the desparation when they found an egg and you had to go and do it all over again 😭

It made no difference - a couple of weeks later and they were back again. I guess this is why they don't bother now.

Missed your post and basically posted the same thing. I can confirm you are right though.

CatchingConnie · 21/03/2025 19:10

Nits are normal. We are a huggy school and I've got them a few times, from children who were riddled, but also in sore need of some love and affection so got all the hugs regardless. You can generally avoid them though with heat styling, tied hair and occasional vosene shampoo, if you're not a sucker for a sad face, like me...

Worms definitely are too - they are a fucker in YR due to the playdough, which the eggs end up in, due to poor hand washing. And the touching, well, everything and very poor hygiene. We throw the playdough away regularly, but I won't use it after the first 'go', just talk encouragingly rather than join in. I also wash my hands very thoroughly and frequently and avoid touching my face. I've never caught them and we've had them in my classes often.

You can be fine for ages, but when something gets in the class, it's a bugger to get it out again, and completely out of your control. It's very frustrating.

YR to Y2 is just a whole special degree of minging and grotty, really. You'll get used to it!

TheignT · 21/03/2025 19:09

JoyousEagle · 21/03/2025 17:21

Are you from the UK? I only ask because I’ve seen this issue come up on here before, and some posters from other countries have said that there it’s absolutely the case that a child would be kept off.

It used to be the case in England. One of mine caught nits once, nit nurse came in as there was an outbreak. I had to treat him and then go to the clinic to get him signed as fit to return to school.

We didn't have so many nit outbreaks in schools back then.

Jeschara · 21/03/2025 19:06

whatsappdoc · 21/03/2025 18:13

How rude you are @Jeschara. Hope you are teaching your grandchildren better manners than that.

My Grandchildren are taught manners by their parents. My elder adult child when 23 knew not to ask silly questions. The OP should know her job, and I do think the poster is coming across as silly. This knowledge is basic.

Anyway we are not going to agree you have your opinion and I have mine.

BreatheAndFocus · 21/03/2025 19:05

Threadworms are easier to deal with than nits! The people above saying you can get rid of nits easily with just one wash of X shampoo are insane! I got them from a child whose head was literally crawling in them. The can transfer to hair via clothes apparently. Anyway, it took me 3 wks to be sure I was rid of the little bugs! Unless you spot them immediately and can deal with them immediately, they’ll lay eggs and then you’ve got to go through the whole lifecycle, killing the adult lice, the emerging baby lice, etc etc.

Contrary to all the adverts, none of those one treatment shampoos or foams work. They dont kill all the eggs or lice. The only method that works is conditioner combing night after bloody night for 2 or 3 wks until you find absolutely none.

Don’t relax though, as you can be very sure there’ll be at least one child in the class who’s never treated or properly treated and still retains a veritable head-city of lice, all ready to spread to any head in the vicinity. Nits don’t keep re-occurring. They’re never properly eradicated in the class so they go round and round.

You can’t keep children off for nits, but we’ve reported children who are clearly not being treated and suffering.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 21/03/2025 19:04

SalfordQuays · 21/03/2025 18:24

You need tea tree conditioner and a Nitty Gritty comb. That’s the only brand of comb that worked for my kids.

Yes to the Nitty Gritty comb.
It was about £10 when I bought one and it is still lurking in the bathroom somewhere ( DC are adults now )
Long spiral tines not the little plastic ones .

When you use it , section the conditioned hair , go down the length then go up from the roots to the ends .

Nits are the empty egg case (white)
Head lice are the insects themselves
The eggs are dark brown and cling to the hair shaft like glue (which is why you comb down and up)

Doingmybestbut · 21/03/2025 19:01

You can get anti-nit shampoo.

skintasabint · 21/03/2025 19:00

Mine were always getting headlice from the same child. The mother would only use natural products 🧐🙄

the kids was crawling all the time, imo it was basically neglect. She should have been sent home and not allowed to come back until they were cleared. It wasn’t fair on the other kids constantly getting them

Crazyworldmum · 21/03/2025 19:00

School doesn’t allow children to be off due to nits . Thankfully none of mine had them until
now , fingers crossed . Put tea tree oil in your shampoo , it’s repellent.
i agree with you by the way , just saying school won’t

Gruttenberg · 21/03/2025 18:59

Iknowaboutpopular · 21/03/2025 17:27

How many years ago was that then? Because I have an 18 year old and that's never been a thing.

In the 1980s my kids were in primary. At that time a Nit Nurse was employed (I'm sure that wasn't her official title) who went round every primary school and checked heads.

Every single kid who had nits was excluded until it had been treated. In those days we also had to remove every egg from their hair before they were allowed back in after the Nit Nurse had checked them again.
I still remember the desparation when they found an egg and you had to go and do it all over again 😭

It made no difference - a couple of weeks later and they were back again. I guess this is why they don't bother now.

Runnersandtoms · 21/03/2025 18:58

WiseFinch · 21/03/2025 17:39

Please tell me you’re not serious 😭😭😭 WHAT ABOUT THEM!?😭😭

Threadworms are much more of a nuisance and we had to treat the whole family frequently when mine were in primary. (It's just a tablet but then you have to disinfect your house/wash bedding etc as well to avoid reinfection)

Kids are disgusting. If their bum itches they'll scratch it. Then they'll touch every thing in the classroom as will you and other children. You pick up eggs this way. If you or other kids put your fingers in your mouth eg eating/nail biting/picking teeth etc you swallow the eggs and get worms.

Wash your hands a lot and try not to put your hands in your mouth is the way to avoid them.

Pedanticiknow · 21/03/2025 18:55

AngelinaFibres · 21/03/2025 18:32

They will all have worms constantly . And so will you. Get some pills for threadworms so you can treat yourself as soon as your bum itches.

My children never had threadworms and neither have I, despite having been a playgroup leader and primary teacher for 25 years! Not sure why.

GalileoFigaro · 21/03/2025 18:54

We're told to keep our kids off school if they're found to have nits (Small village school in Spain, if thars relevant), which I think is a bit extreme like others have said.

Also, is it just me whose head starts feeling itchy the second the words "nits" is mentioned?

MaryMalone25 · 21/03/2025 18:52

MesmerisingMuon · 21/03/2025 18:34

If you work in a primary school then a good nit comb is essential! Just brush your hair through morning and night and do this on a regular basis.

I have twins in the same class and one twin always gets nits and the other doesn't. Oddly the sainsburys own brand nit treatment worked the best.

As long as the nits are being treated then that's fine. The teacher should phone home and check, and also send a message out asking ALL parents to check their child's hair.

I teach in a secondary school and once had to send a Y7 child home whose hair was crawling with nits. They had clearly had them for some time and the parents were too busy to notice.

When my DC was at school we had a letter every week. It would have been cheaper and less admin to send a letter out when there were no nits.

The13thFairy · 21/03/2025 18:51

Nits are a nuisance but wait for the threadworms - they'll be along!

SoSoLong · 21/03/2025 18:51

Jeschara · 21/03/2025 17:55

I have Grandchildren now and I sincerely hope they do not have a TA who is as silly as you. You are a adult, but sound immature.

Oh do back off. Young TA has no experience of nits - big deal. She's got time to learn all about kids' disgusting conditions.

OP, if there's any reassurance, I was forever de-nitting DD in primary school, I never caught them off her, it's not a given that you will.

Runnersandtoms · 21/03/2025 18:50

WiseFinch · 21/03/2025 17:26

What is the likelihood of me having caught them from this child? Is there any preventative measures I can take? Sorry I know I sound crazy but I’m getting heebie jeebies! I’ve had everything - norovirus, tonsillitis, strep, from working with the kids but never nits 😭😭

As above they can only pass by touching hair to hair. Tie your hair back at school and keep your head away from theirs. Get a nitty gritty comb (costs about £10 but lasts forever). Use it on wet hair once a week with regular conditioner to check for nits (takes 2 mins). If you see any, comb through carefully every day or every other day until you don't see any. Repeat ad nauseam. Don't bother with treatment shampoos they are not necessary and get expensive.

Some parents don't treat so it is definitely an occupational hazard and they will go round the class over and over. Most schools will send home a letter to the whole class saying please check and treat if necessary but they can't make people do it.

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