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AIBU?

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Should I complain about this nurse

239 replies

AprilF00L · 21/03/2025 16:38

or just let it go?

My very vulnerable, very elderly neighbour fell in his house recently and was treated in his home by paramedics.

Today as I was rushing out to an appointment a district nurse approached me and said that she was there to visit my neighbour but he wasn't in/ This really alarmed me due to his vulnerabilities and physical state. I asked if she'd looked in all the rooms and she said she had. I got her phone number to contact her after my appt.

On my return an hour later I came across her again. She told me that she had returned to see if my neighbour had returned home.

He'd never been out. He was sleeping in bed. She lied. She hadn't looked in every room. He could have been dead for all she knew.7

I'm so annoyed at her lying. So unprofessional. AIBU to report her.

OP posts:
limpingdoggie · 21/03/2025 22:15

Dn here. Because our remit is to visit house bound patients we must always assume they’re in (they are often out and it’s very frustrating at times but that’s by the by.)

as a previous poster said, we have strict rules and guidance re: safeguarding and following up patients we can locate or access.

when I enter a home with a key safe (most of our visits have key safes) I will call out and announce myself. If I have no response I will check every nook and cranny! I’ve been known to pull back shower curtains because I hate the thought of someone having fallen and me missing them.

I suspect this nurse went in, called out and when they got no response assumed they were out. She may have made a decision to check and follow up before looking around sooner. I imagine when she left she didn’t just jog on and carry on with visits. I think she probably liaised with other colleagues, family or even carers. She probably had a read back on S1 to see what happened at other visits .

its highly likely she discovered he never goes out and this prompted her to return and do a more thorough check, where she found the gent in bed.

im sure it’s been a learning curve and I’m pretty sure it’s something she’s already discussed with her managers.

Devonshiregal · 21/03/2025 22:12

Blushingm · 21/03/2025 18:34

It’s very easy to miss someone in bed - plus it’s apparently a town house so not a little one bed bungalow

and this so call concerned neighbour who thought there could have been a possibility the neighbour was dead was happy to pop off to her appointment rather than double check as she’s so adamant the neighbour was there as he never goes out

Doesn’t negate the fact the nurse didn’t find this man. I literally don’t think that this is true - a town house, even if very large, is not so huge you can miss a practically bed bound man! This is just not true. I mean…really?

YesImawitch · 21/03/2025 22:08

Manthide · 21/03/2025 20:47

It sounds like the gentleman is not very mobile so pretty sure the district nurse would know the key safe number.

Sounds like he is mobile enough to get himself upstairs in his townhouse though!

Sunnywalker · 21/03/2025 21:56

She came back later…. Sounds like she just couldn’t get in at the time. You don’t have all the info. Why people so quick to complain. No wonder there is a recruitment crisis.

JillMW · 21/03/2025 21:50

Sammylady37 thank you for a sensible response. I would be horrified if anyone caring for me or my relatives discussed anything with a neighbour. No wonder the poor nurse looked flustered.

Valeriecork · 21/03/2025 21:44

AprilF00L · 21/03/2025 16:38

or just let it go?

My very vulnerable, very elderly neighbour fell in his house recently and was treated in his home by paramedics.

Today as I was rushing out to an appointment a district nurse approached me and said that she was there to visit my neighbour but he wasn't in/ This really alarmed me due to his vulnerabilities and physical state. I asked if she'd looked in all the rooms and she said she had. I got her phone number to contact her after my appt.

On my return an hour later I came across her again. She told me that she had returned to see if my neighbour had returned home.

He'd never been out. He was sleeping in bed. She lied. She hadn't looked in every room. He could have been dead for all she knew.7

I'm so annoyed at her lying. So unprofessional. AIBU to report her.

My auntie has dementia and lives in an average sized 3 bed house. Twice the carers have documented that they couldn't find her in the house. The 1st time the carer didn't tell anyone and just left, luckily I have access to the care notes and check periodically, the 2nd time the office called my stepdad. BOTH times she had taken herself to bed. The bed is visible from the bedroom door, from the landing, from the top of the stairs. I would contact the company. Carers are overworked, but patient safety must come first

SockFluffInTheBath · 21/03/2025 21:05

I’d report it OP. If she didn’t have the key safe number that’s a point to improve in his care and a cast iron alibi for her. We have agencies coming out to elderly PILs, one is great, one is shit and rinsing the system. Anyone working with vulnerable people should be trustworthy. If they’re not then they should be sacked.

BriceNobeslovesMurielHeslop · 21/03/2025 21:03

Manthide · 21/03/2025 20:47

It sounds like the gentleman is not very mobile so pretty sure the district nurse would know the key safe number.

Not necessarily- of course she should have the key safe number, but more than once I was dispatched to a house and nobody had thought to give me the number. Of course if that’s the case the co-ordinator should have checked that.

GlenmoreSprings · 21/03/2025 21:02

The point isn’t the nurse going in or not- she actively lied? Why say you went in and looked in all rooms then change your story? Op, I think it’s lovely that you are looking out for your very vulnerable neighbour. Elderly people are particularly at risk from poor care. Just because someone is a nurse, doctor or other profession, it doesn’t mean that we can’t question them. Unfortunately, an elderly relative received really poor care and I wish someone around would have intervened or questioned their actions.

amyshep · 21/03/2025 21:00

LIZS · 21/03/2025 16:45

Would he have been visible from outside if tucked up in bed. I doubt a nurse is entitled to let themselves in.

We are, actually.
but if she didn’t have a code for a key safe (if there is one) and he wasn’t answering, then she couldn’t get in. Only look through windows.

CactusSammy · 21/03/2025 20:59

The keysafe number would usually be noted on his medical record, which the district nurse would have had access to.

I think this is a wider issue than whether she lied or not. Yes, she should have looked upstairs. But DNs are overstretched, so many patients are discharged from hospital without a care package, and you would not believe the amount of time wasted by patients who are out when the DNs call on them (especially as DNs only visit patients who are housebound).

I'm not a DN, but deal with them. This is another wider NHS problem.

Manthide · 21/03/2025 20:47

VickyEadieofThigh · 21/03/2025 16:48

And do you know for certain that she had been given the keysafe number?

It sounds like the gentleman is not very mobile so pretty sure the district nurse would know the key safe number.

DearBee · 21/03/2025 20:44

Ridiculous thread. She approached you because she was concerned about your neighbour, and then returned an hour later.

What the fuck is the actual problem? It's not like she just buggered off. He got the care he needed.

YABVU.

WiddlinDiddlin · 21/03/2025 20:42

If you are concerned and think it warrants reporting, then do it.

But don't check in here because you're either going to be told you're a liar and ruining this persons life OR berated because of course you should and you should have done it there and then and not come to MN and dithered about.

And yes they can let themselves in, one let themselves in here even though I expressly said not to incase our dogs were in the hallway. She'd also walked into the wrong house down the road looking for me, much to the perfectly able bodied residents total confusion!

Peacepleaselouise · 21/03/2025 20:38

I think you’re being a bit harsh. There might be safeguarding reasons why she is concerned about going into his bedroom or she might have just made a mistake. Either way she was diligent enough to come back.

Annascaul · 21/03/2025 20:36

Crunchymum · 21/03/2025 20:30

Missing the point I know but maybe he needs to rethink the townhouse if his mobility is that bad!!

Edited

Quite!

Thanksforyourlackofthought · 21/03/2025 20:35

You really want to report her don't you?

blubberyboo · 21/03/2025 20:34

I think what happened is that a medical professional was going about her work when she was approached in the street by a nosey busybody (you OP) asking for confidential medical information. She faffed a response to avoid answering you and to avoid breaching GDPR.

She came back later (as she said she would) and the nosey busybody was back again asking nosey questions and she thought FML!!

Crunchymum · 21/03/2025 20:30

AprilF00L · 21/03/2025 16:52

She lied because when I saw her the second time she was flustered and said "oh I didn't know where the rooms were...I shouted and no one answered"

He lives in a townhouse and she had not gone upstairs to his bedroom.

Missing the point I know but maybe he needs to rethink the townhouse if his mobility is that bad!!

BriceNobeslovesMurielHeslop · 21/03/2025 20:27

I’m a nurse too, and used to work in the community (although not any more).
I’m struggling to see what there is to report. The nurse came back, and saw the man.
Certainly when I was in the community it wasn’t totally unusual that somebody was out at a hospital appointment or day centre, and the message hadn’t made its way along the chain. If you called the police every time you couldn’t gain access, you wouldn’t be doing much else.

Do we know that she was familiar with the patient? She might have been covering staffing and didn’t have the key safe number, that happened to me. If anything it sounds like she did a good job, and she’s going to get a complaint made about her.

Glasgowqueen · 21/03/2025 20:25

AprilF00L · 21/03/2025 16:38

or just let it go?

My very vulnerable, very elderly neighbour fell in his house recently and was treated in his home by paramedics.

Today as I was rushing out to an appointment a district nurse approached me and said that she was there to visit my neighbour but he wasn't in/ This really alarmed me due to his vulnerabilities and physical state. I asked if she'd looked in all the rooms and she said she had. I got her phone number to contact her after my appt.

On my return an hour later I came across her again. She told me that she had returned to see if my neighbour had returned home.

He'd never been out. He was sleeping in bed. She lied. She hadn't looked in every room. He could have been dead for all she knew.7

I'm so annoyed at her lying. So unprofessional. AIBU to report her.

If you were that concerned you would have checked on them yourselves.Maybe get a hobby instead of insulting hard working nurses

Annascaul · 21/03/2025 20:24

Fraaances · 21/03/2025 20:07

Sounds to me like she was trying to skip this guy’s house and only came back because you saw her. I would report her.

Don’t be daft.

Summer13 · 21/03/2025 20:22

As an NHS nurse myself who visits patients in their homes I can tell you we absolutely do not always have the keysafe code. They are not readily available and I often have to call families to get the number when at the house. I honestly can't see why she would deliberately lie just to come back? This nurse probably had a huge list of patients to see that day and she found time to come back again. I hardly think this warrants a complaint!!

Theroofisonfiyah · 21/03/2025 20:16

I work as a carer in the community, I've had instances before where I've knocked on the door and had no reply, but I've never been to that person before. I've then looked through windows, not been able to see anything, so have gone to my car, phoned my office, checked whether that person should be able to answer the door (just because they have a keysafe, doesn't mean they want you letting yourself in on the regular) checked that they might have been admitted to hospital. My boss might say, actually this earlier than usual, come back a bit later. You just don't know the ins and outs of a situation.

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 21/03/2025 20:15

How did she get into his property?