It was recently my DD's 2nd birthday. The plan was that DD's favourite people come for dinner and playtime with DD (grandparents plus mine and DH's siblings - 11 people in total). Unexpectedly my uncle texted (at about 4.30pm) asking if he could come over - he wasn't aware I was having a family dinner but I was more than happy to have him over as he lives a 100 miles away and so it isn't often he is down. He then said he had some colleagues with him and would there be enough food or should he tell them to eat elsewhere. I was astounded - explained it was literally DD's birthday, I had cooked a nice meal for the family and it would be best if his colleagues ate elsewhere. He then replied they were 10 minutes away (about 5.45pm) and that his colleagues were small eaters. I replied I wouldn't have enough for his 3 colleagues but if he just came on his own that would be fine. I was furious.
I told DH I wasn't coming out of the kitchen and that he was to only serve them juice and biscuits and my uncle could sort out their food. My house is organised so that I have a through lounge where the living room and dining area is one massive room. I felt like it would be so awkward if the colleagues were sat in the living area and my family were sat in the dining area having dinner. Anyway they arrived around 6pm, uncle came into the kitchen to see me and apologise and say he didn't know how to get rid of them. DH panic ordered two pizzas. I had made a roast dinner for my family. Soon after mine and DH's families arrived. My roast dinner was ready, DH took all the food to the dining area. I then went into the room to greet my family and ILs but saw that uncle and his colleagues were already sat at the dining table. I wanted to burst out crying. The colleagues were all very appreciative that I was doing so much and how kind I was. I have no idea what my uncle said to them but it was fairly obvious it was a birthday party (balloons and decorations everywhere) and that it wasn't a dinner for them. I left the room and stayed in the kitchen until uncle and colleagues left.
Anyway fast forward the evening, they ate dinner, not enough space for the intended guests to eat at the table, not enough starters for the intended guests, uncle and his colleague stayed until about 8.45pm which meant our cake cutting etc was delayed as I didn't want them present for something that is supposed to be a special family moment.
Over Christmas time last year, my uncle invited us to a charity event (£70 per ticket) in his constituency about 100 miles away (he is in politics) to which we (myself, DH and DD) said we would come. The event is next month. It will cost us about £600 for a one night stay factoring in travel costs, hotel room, ticket cost and costumes (themed black tie event). We haven't paid for our tickets yet but my uncle has booked a hotel room for us at the venue (for which we will also pay for after the stay as is normal with hotel stays). He might be out of pocket with the hotel if we decline the invite.
AIBU to make an excuse and say we won't come?
Today he messaged me to say the food was delicious. But no apology or anything. I haven't replied. He literally gatecrashed DD's 2nd birthday party with 3 strangers, who came uninvited, ate our food and then there wasn't enough for others. And then stayed for ages and wouldn't leave (on a weeknight too!). At one point after dinner my uncle came in to make them tea!! I just wanted to literally tell him to fuck off now because we would like to cut DD's cake and not have Tom, Dick and Harry loitering about.