Sons Ex wont let him have access to his baby

No, mother and father are not interchangeable at this stage, @Gloriia . If you had even been a birth mother yourself you would know this. It's the fourth trimester, the baby still feels itself as an extension to the mother, and barely knows it is out of the womb. It has been proven it needs the mother's heartbeat and scent. Baby will be using her body to regulate its own. Without her there it’s little body will flood with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.
It is 6 WEEKS OLD. Not 6 months old or 1 year old.

Um, @24namechange you don't take a 6 WEEK old newborn baby from it's mother to a strangers house for hours/weekend. It is 6 WEEKS OLD! Did you even read the OP's posts at all? NO legal advice in the land will say the father should have overnights with a 6 WEEK OLD NEWBORN BABY!! He can bond with the baby at it's mother's house.

You clearly haven't even READ the OP, @Ihopeyouhavent . The son has free and unlimited access at the mother's house. Are you really saying it's unreasonable to saying no to taking a 6 WEEK OLD BABY to a strangers house, for hours/weekends away from it's mother?!???

I swear people like you just skim OPs and don't even bother reading. Because no stable, sane human being would agree to taking a 6 week old away when he can SEE IT AT HER HOME.

Have you even bothered to read what this is about, @Ihopeyouhavent the sone is able to have free access to his son, and visits. And so is OP.

They just can't take a 6 week old baby for WEEKENDS or for hours to a strangers house.

That is MORE than reasonable. And a solicitor would tell him this.

OP has said she too is allowed to visit.

Then you should KNOW that taking a 6 week old newborn baby from it's mother for hours and weekends is a bad idea, @Katypp . And OP's son seeing the baby at the mother's house freely is a good thing.

Would you have wanted your 6 week old baby taken to a strangers house without you for hours and for weekends? At 6 weeks? @Katypp

No, it is not at all a sensible option to run to mummy. All that would do, common sense tells one, is make the mother feel ganged up on. OP said 'as usual' he has asked me to sort it out. Clearly this immature boy can't speak with the mother of his child like an adult.

Needing his mummy to sort out his problems, for one, @Golden407 . Not being able to withstand awkwardness at the mother's home in order to spend time with his son, another.

Have you ever had a baby, @theriseandfallofFranklinSaint ? It doesn't sound like it.

We're talking about a son who wants to take a 6 week old baby to a strangers house for hours/weekends. Not remotely the same as your husband who lives with you taking the baby out in the garden.

If you still think it's ok to take a 6 week old baby away from it's mother, yes, shame on you!

Biased because we say it's wrong to take baby of 6 weeks to a strangers house for hours and weekends? A baby of 6 weeks? When he can visit the baby and spend time with it at her house? Did you even bother to actually read the OP, @JudgeJ ? The son is able to visit the baby whenever he wants! Just not take it to his house. That's all!

@JudgeJ You're assuming she has stopped him, instead of him only choosing to see the baby 4 times. It sounds like he hasn't been bothered.

Nonsense.

The baby has known the mother since conception, and vice versa. The baby can recognise its mother's voice and face minutes after birth. The baby can smell its mother from day one.

The father is, in fact, a stranger, and does not have the deep physical bond the mother has with the baby, and vice versa.

The first three months are not called 'the fourth trimester' for no reason.

You are being massively unreasonable, and putting horrible pressure on a new mother to part with her baby, no doubt causing her to feel stressed out and extremely anxious.

And you need to get over yourselves wrt the money your son has given toward the baby. He's no hero, and it's not a pay to play situation.

Stop pressuring the young mother. Go to her house and see the baby on her terms.

FFS

No court will demand that a 6 week old baby is handed over so the father that has seen the child 4 times and the grandmother can take them off for hours at a separate location.

The most they will want is regular contact for the father with the child at the mother's house with her present and gradually building up to having time alone over many months.

Breast fed babies often don't do overnights away from mother for several YEARS.

If the father and grandmother want a good relationship they will work with the mother, not against her.

YABU. A baby of 6 weeks is too young to be away from the mother 'for a few hours' in.a different environment.

Do you not know basic biology? The mother of the baby isn’t a stranger at all. The baby knows its mother as an absolute, and to take a newborn away from its mother for longer than necessary is physically traumatic and should only be done under extreme circumstances. This is not that, the father can visit and build that relationship with his child but it will be weeks, likely months, before it’s reasonable to expect mum to hand the baby over for ‘dad time’ alone.

He is not a stranger he is the father. All parents are strangers until the baby is born. And they will.

little and often is few hours a couple of times a week. She cannot demand he needs to be supervised unless she has concerns and the court would not allow that either.

I’m not endorsing op’s approach, but wanting contact with your grandchild is hardly living vicariously.

This post is quite harsh.

To be fair, op is not the first and won’t be the last op to start an AIBU thread then get offended if posters say yes, actually, you are BU.

I think she’s probably feeling a lot of emotions at this time. It isn’t the ideal circumstance to become a grandmother, and, while it’s infinitely more about the baby than her, I can understand she probably feels anxious about being shut out of the life of a baby it would be perfectly natural for her to feel for. I can sympathise with her to that extent.

But she needs to step back and think how best to handle those feelings; going on the offensive won’t achieve much good for any of them - least of all the baby.

Of course you’re being unreasonable. The baby is 6 weeks old. I didn’t want to let my little one out of my sight at that age. The poor woman is still deep in the trenches of postpartum & as you already said, barely knows you. She’s just carried & birthed this child - if your son wants to be a dad, he needs to suck it up, respect her wishes, support her as the mother of his child & go to her house! Not to mention the fact that he also barely knows his child & the baby barely knows him - if he really cares about being a dad, he could go & visit the baby every day at his exe’s house. I wouldn’t be comfortable handing off my child to someone who has met them a handful of times, even if it’s their dad.

Honestly I’d take it one day at a time. Nor course the baby is far too young to be away from his mum at the moment but in the future of course your son isn’t being unreasonable wanting access to his son. If I were him I’d see the baby on her terms until he’s older and then broach the subject again. If she refuses he will have to go the legal route.

Exactly, there is a difference between supporting her son to do the right thing , which is work with the mother of the child and build bridges whilst putting baby first and finding ways together that everyone is happy with for vists , not going against mothers wishes with a 6 week old baby to be with granny and her son at granny's house and granny doing everything 'as usual ' it's not going to work , I've seen this situation a few times and it ends badly. Granny needs to support of course but in the right way and step back