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Original poster

To worry my DD8 might be too attached to her cuddly toys??

135 replies

RedFish1 · 20/03/2025 22:19

DD is going on a school trip soon. She has two cuddly toys she has slept with since she was 6 months old and we have made a decision a few months ago, that it might be best for those cuddly toys to stay at home. DD has been practicing sleeping with other cuddly toys but tonight she got embarrassed and after some convincing, told me that she worries about making her cuddly toys feel sad and she feels bad to leave her favourite ones on the floor. I think the reason she was embarrassed is because obviously she knows they don’t have real feelings. She is a really sensitive and caring little girl. She never wants to make anyone sad, so I suppose this explains why she’s feeling guilty to not have them with her at night.

We have made an agreement that I will take care of them at night whilst she practices going to sleep with other cuddly toys. That way, she doesn’t have to see them so hopefully won’t feel so guilty.

Im just a little worried that this is too strong an attachment. This is new to me as my eldest didn’t have a cuddly toy she depended on and I’d really appreciate some advice. Thanks.

OP posts:
pompey38 · 20/03/2025 22:51

RedFish1 · 20/03/2025 22:19

DD is going on a school trip soon. She has two cuddly toys she has slept with since she was 6 months old and we have made a decision a few months ago, that it might be best for those cuddly toys to stay at home. DD has been practicing sleeping with other cuddly toys but tonight she got embarrassed and after some convincing, told me that she worries about making her cuddly toys feel sad and she feels bad to leave her favourite ones on the floor. I think the reason she was embarrassed is because obviously she knows they don’t have real feelings. She is a really sensitive and caring little girl. She never wants to make anyone sad, so I suppose this explains why she’s feeling guilty to not have them with her at night.

We have made an agreement that I will take care of them at night whilst she practices going to sleep with other cuddly toys. That way, she doesn’t have to see them so hopefully won’t feel so guilty.

Im just a little worried that this is too strong an attachment. This is new to me as my eldest didn’t have a cuddly toy she depended on and I’d really appreciate some advice. Thanks.

My DD is 22 and she takes her “two” everywhere there’s a overnight stay 😂she never lost them but she forgot them several times ,we had them sent home over the years from all over the country + few overseas countries, guess we were lucky

Original poster
RedFish1 · 20/03/2025 22:49

SurfAllDay · 20/03/2025 22:46

I disagree with some of the other posts somewhat. Special teddies have never gone on school trips here because of the risk of them getting lost or damaged. We've talked very honestly about why it's safer to leave them at home and that we will look after them. We've always taken aess loved cuddly on primary school trips and generally it's been very normal that teddies have been taken

If she took her favourites, it would be absolutely heartbreaking for her if something happened to them. I think she would be traumatised, in all honesty. Of course there would also be a risk of something happening to one of them on day 1, and that would just be absolutely awful for her to deal with whilst away from home. I think having an alternative is important.

OP posts:
jamimmi · 20/03/2025 22:48

Dd 17 still.sleeps with her favourite emotional support ( soft toy) animal as she laughing calls her. The bunny now does not travel with her though. Let your dd have her toy, she will stop when she's ready( or they fall to bits). I secretly suspect my ds still cuddles his bears at 21 ! Both are otherwise normal functional young adults.

Ladamesansmerci · 20/03/2025 22:46

My 31 year old self, with a nursing career and a baby, has a whole shelf of teddies that I rotate through at night, because I don't want any to be left out 🤣🤷

Could you take her to a shop to pick out a special travel buddy teddy for the trip? :)

SurfAllDay · 20/03/2025 22:46

I disagree with some of the other posts somewhat. Special teddies have never gone on school trips here because of the risk of them getting lost or damaged. We've talked very honestly about why it's safer to leave them at home and that we will look after them. We've always taken aess loved cuddly on primary school trips and generally it's been very normal that teddies have been taken

Original poster
RedFish1 · 20/03/2025 22:45

Coatsoff42 · 20/03/2025 22:37

Are your DDs favourite toys still
availble to buy? If so then let her take them on the trip, and if they get lost, which is unlikely, you can have a new one replace them via some magical refurbishment postal service.
She sounds like she has a very caring heart and loves her toys very much, which is a wonderful thing.

One of the toys is not available to buy. It’s also 8 years old with a worn out ear. No other would be the same. The other one has had arms and legs sewn back on, her nose replaced etc. She looks nothing like the original, so is equally irreplaceable. That’s the worry!

She does love the other two stuffed animals that she will be taking. It’s just trying to adjust to sleeping with those two. She is currently tucked up in bed fast asleep with them as we speak, so we are having some success.

OP posts:
Coatsoff42 · 20/03/2025 22:44

Perhaps it’s too cold on the floor for them? Could they go in a ‘tent’ in her room? With blankets etc.

If she really can’t sleep without them though, she could just take them.

Original poster
RedFish1 · 20/03/2025 22:40

I’m wondering if I’ve not explained my OP properly. I am not taking them away from her. She is the one who wants to take different cuddly toys on the trip. It’s actually DD who has been placing her favourites next to her bed on the floor and sleeping with other ones. She is trying to get used to others as she doesn’t want to lose these ones on the trip.

But seeing them on the floor in her room has made her sad. Hence why I’ve offered to look after them for her tonight. She knows where they are and I would of course give her them if she comes and asks for them.

OP posts:
2025willbemytime · 20/03/2025 22:40

Every school trip I've ever sent my dc in as teddy as number one on the list of things they need to take. The teaches take one too so that everyone feels the same and okay about a perfectly normal thing to want.

<looks a huge teddy sat next to me on the bed>

Fordian · 20/03/2025 22:40

Our cub scout leader (8-11) issued a packing list for a camp away that started with ‘teddy’. He reiterated at the pre-meeting to bring teddy if teddy wanted to come.

So smart.

MasterBeth · 20/03/2025 22:38

She’s only 8, this sounds perfectly normal to me.

Agree.

xWren · 20/03/2025 22:38

RedFish1 · 20/03/2025 22:34

Thanks so much for the reassurance everyone.

For those saying she should just take them. These cuddly toys and completely irreplaceable to her and she doesn’t actually want to take them because she doesn’t want to risk losing them. And I agree. She is a really busy child, bouncing from one thing to the next constantly. She is very “in the moment”, and as a result, will often lose things.

It would be awful for her if she lost them. I just don’t think it’s worth the risk. I think it’s good for her to have an alternative to take on sleepovers etc, as she’ll no doubt be doing more of that in the next couple of years.

That’s a fair point!
Does she sleep with her favourites like under her arm to sleep?
If so, could she put her favourites at the end of her bed and “camping bear” sleeps under her arm? And alternate each night.
The “end of the bed” teddies could be practicing camping or something… it depends what stories you tell your daughter to settle her mind.

Original poster
RedFish1 · 20/03/2025 22:38

Perculiar · 20/03/2025 22:36

Aw she sounds totally normal don’t worry. Could she take a photo of them?

This is a lovely idea. I will take a little Polaroid of them and pop it in her case. She will love that. ❤️

OP posts:
faerietales · 20/03/2025 22:37

Why are you taking her favourite toys away from her? That seems so mean!

Rubyupbeat · 20/03/2025 22:37

Aww... she is so young, please let her sleep with them. Maybe not take them away in case they get lost.
I am 60 and still have my beloved threadbare panda (same age as me) and, whom I would never part with.

Coatsoff42 · 20/03/2025 22:37

Are your DDs favourite toys still
availble to buy? If so then let her take them on the trip, and if they get lost, which is unlikely, you can have a new one replace them via some magical refurbishment postal service.
She sounds like she has a very caring heart and loves her toys very much, which is a wonderful thing.

Perculiar · 20/03/2025 22:36

Aw she sounds totally normal don’t worry. Could she take a photo of them?

OolongTeaDrinker · 20/03/2025 22:36

I don’t think I’d let my 8 year old go on a school trip where they couldn’t bring their favourite ted. Surely most kids that age still sleep with their cuddly toys. It’s obviously not working for your daughter so just leave her be and give her back her favourite teds.

alongtimeagoandfaraway · 20/03/2025 22:36

Not a teddy but a cuddly blanket. We worried, when my daughter went on her first Brownie camp, that others might make fun of her so we buried it deep in her sleeping bag. And then we saw that all the - incredibly grown up it seemed to us- guides had cuddly toys with them.
That was a long time ago. It’s travelled extensively with her since. She’s now in her 30s and recently sent me a pic of her baby cuddling up to it…

Original poster
RedFish1 · 20/03/2025 22:34

Thanks so much for the reassurance everyone.

For those saying she should just take them. These cuddly toys and completely irreplaceable to her and she doesn’t actually want to take them because she doesn’t want to risk losing them. And I agree. She is a really busy child, bouncing from one thing to the next constantly. She is very “in the moment”, and as a result, will often lose things.

It would be awful for her if she lost them. I just don’t think it’s worth the risk. I think it’s good for her to have an alternative to take on sleepovers etc, as she’ll no doubt be doing more of that in the next couple of years.

OP posts:
parietal · 20/03/2025 22:33

Nothing wrong with having cuddly toys for as long as a child (or adult) wants them. Just put a name tape on any toy that leaves the house and hope none go missing.

Londonrach1 · 20/03/2025 22:33

Yabu. I'm 40 ish and still sleep with my cuddy toy... I know my sister's teens so as does a lot of adults. She is 8. I promise you most of her class will sleep with soft toys and most will take them away!

xWren · 20/03/2025 22:31

My daughter’s school put “teddy bears and comforts” on the essentials list for her overnight camping stay (she’s 7).

My best friend (32) still sleeps either her childhood teddy every night. She’s a wife and mother.

My niece (13) still sleeps with her baby blanket (hardly a blanket anymore).

Shes allowed her favourite teddies. I imagine there’ll be many other 8 year-olds going on the same trip who will take their favourite teddy and your daughter might feel even more sad knowing she could have taken hers.

Matronic6 · 20/03/2025 22:30

Plenty of year 6s have brought cuddly toys on their residentials. Plenty of adults also have things to help them sleep. She's only 8, there is no reason to take them away from her.

TheCryingTheBitchAndTheFloordrobe · 20/03/2025 22:29

My DD had one she was unbelievably attached to at around this age, or maybe even a bit older. She slept with it nightly, it came on holiday and on day trips and she took it to school in her bag every day. I never tried to discourage it, just waited for her to become less attached over time, which of course she did.

Personally, I’d neither worry about this nor push it. Occasionally other children would say something to my DD, but I told her not to pay too much attention and to just do what felt right to her, and the comments didn’t bother her.