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AIBU?

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Original poster

Who should go to A&E with child - mum or dad?

138 replies

NameChangedSpring25 · 20/03/2025 18:42

not me, a relative:

DC1 is 6 y/old - told by 111 to go to A&E - stomach pain (he’s usually very tough), but has been in agony all day, crying for his mum who has just got home from work. Dad has been at home with him (WFH but taken emergency parental leave)
DC2 is 12 months - still very attached to mum during night. Will settle with dad but would take longer. Mum would worry a lot if not at hospital with DS1.

both parents work full time and alternate sickness days. Assuming nothing serious it’s mums turn to take tomorrow off work and dad will go to work (ideally on site tomorrow)

which parent should have taken DS1 to A&E?

OP posts:
Almostwelsh · 20/03/2025 18:48

Mum because Dad has to work on site tomorrow and they might be there late. However annoyingly I've found in the past that children's ailments are taken more seriously if dad takes them.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 20/03/2025 18:46

NameChangedSpring25 · 20/03/2025 18:44

Dad has taken him - apparently didn’t want to be at home with the Velcro baby….

This is an unusual situation and what matters is both kids have a parent there, so maybe all the adults should think about the 6 year old and put their personal opinions to one side. Mum can’t be in 2 places at once and I’m sure dad would worry about unwell child if not there too.

fost · 20/03/2025 18:46

It really doesn't matter, but on balance probably Dad, as he can answer any questions the doctors might have about his symptoms/behaviour today better, and having the younger kid with the parent he settles best for also makes sense.

Livelaughlurgy · 20/03/2025 18:46

First priority is whoever the 6 year old wants, second priority is logistically what's the fastest.

DontCallMeKidDontCallMeBaby · 20/03/2025 18:46

The couple of times we’ve needed to take our dc to the hospital we followed their lead. It was obvious which parent they ‘needed most’ (for want of a better expression) on each occasion.

HenDoNot · 20/03/2025 18:45

Mum

WeAllHaveWings · 20/03/2025 18:45

Don't think there is a "should" in those circumstances. It isn't that black and white.

carrotsandtomatoes · 20/03/2025 18:44

I would have thought Dad should have taken him as soon as 111 said to go as he was with him but if going tomorrow and it’s mums turn the mum.

Dazzylazzy · 20/03/2025 18:44

Whoever the ill child has asked to go. It’s not about who would worry as both parents will it is about the patient and what they would like.

Original poster
NameChangedSpring25 · 20/03/2025 18:44

Dad has taken him - apparently didn’t want to be at home with the Velcro baby….

OP posts:
GuevarasBeret · 20/03/2025 18:44

Mum

StampOnTheGround · 20/03/2025 18:43

There isn’t a right or wrong answer here. Dad will be more than capable of going to hospital or stay at home with the 1 year old. And I’m sure whichever parent was left at home would be worrying, not just mum.

okydokethen · 20/03/2025 18:42

Mum