Who should go to A&E with child - mum or dad?

Our baby had jaundice and I’d just had a c section. We called our surgery and they told us to get him to a & e asap. It took my husband literally minutes to get the baby to hospital. I stayed home with the four and two year olds as we had no childcare. We joined them later when FIL was able to drive me and although I felt I needed to be there, I was hormonal and emotional (not to mention bleeding heavily and struggling to walk) and the nurse asked if ‘mum wanted to step out of the room’ as they were going to inject baby with a big needle.

Dad was the one baby needed that day. Not mum. And he did a fucking great job.

It doesn’t matter. Both parents are capable of taking a child to A&E.

dad so mum can manage younger child

In this case I would say Dad because he's been with the child all day and will be better able to discuss the symptoms, urine output, what the child has eaten etc. In my house it is always Dad, because I don't drive, but depending on how late he was away would depend on how the next day looks with regard to who would stay home etc.

Dh would go in heartbeat rather than having velcro baby

I went to hospital when DD broke her arm. She was 7.

Mum

In this instance I think I agree with the person who said Dad would be able to give a better medical.update of the days events if they've been there with them all day.

One of our children unfortunately had several A&E visits when younger and looking back sometimes it was Dad, sometimes it was me.

Whoever felt more able to do it and manage the likely overnight in A&E with no sleep. Generally, I do this sort of stuff in our family because I have a clinical background so know what questions to ask and I’m more bolshy than Dh who would wait for 20 hours before he asked if anyone was going to see them. I’m much more likely to get things done and sort it.

In terms of work though, it wouldn’t matter, whoever needed to take off would just have to take off. It would much more depend on which of us had more pressing work on.

The most competent parent should go.

If that's mum and the hospital is in a dodgy area, then dad and the other child should drop them off at the door and pick up again later.

Personally I generally preferred to stay at home with the others. Especially now we have mobiles and can keep informed.

I can't imagine that spending all evening/night in A&E is the easy option, in comparison to holding a baby at home.

I don’t think there is a right or wrong. Dad is obviously a selfish git if he used not wanting a Velcro baby as the reason though, adult preferences shouldn’t be a consideration, the focus should be on the children. I have always been the one to take mine to the ED, although admittedly I have made the opposite mistakes to many posters and have actually made bad decisions and have waited more than I should have before making the call… so the times I have been, they have been sick enough for immediate treatment and admissions…. So I haven’t had the experience of PP’s where I wasn’t taken seriously, but I don’t doubt fathers are taken more seriously. I’ll actually keep that in mind in case we are ever in a situation where the trip is less critical!!

Assuming they are both reasonably capable adults, either parent would be fine.

Obviously neither and you should post on the internet to see what a group of random strangers think. Who in their right mind even thinks to post about this and doesn't just get on with looking after both children???

It tends to be me (Dad), but we give our daughter the choice.

Because both the 6 yo and the 1 yo are defaulting to Mum as the main parent.

6 yo is hurt and wants Mummy, 1 yo needs comfort and wants Mummy. Why do both children have an automatic preference for Mummy?

Why is it an indication that the dad needs to step up? The dad went to A&E and OP seems annoyed by that.

I had to do it as mum cos he fucked off already when he was 6 months old.

It's just what you do.

That's life.

Should? Whichever is more convenient. If my eldest needed A and E when small I’d need to leave a breastfeeding baby. No sense.

In this case dad should go as he's been there all day and can give a more accurate history of what's been happening.

For trips to hospital my husband would take them usually as he is a doctor and can advocate for them better. But if it was overnight in hospital I would stay as both my children would prefer me.

I think the fact that the question needs to be asked indicates that Dad needs to step up.

Both kids should be as comfortable with Dad as they are with Mum.

Surely this is the only answer! The child chooses.

We send dad most times unless need is obvious as Dad is a vet so talks doctor language and sadly is more likely to be taken seriously by doctors even if he wasn't...

So I've done broken ankle, broken finger and Lego up nose, DH did broken ankle follow up and weird signs needing investigated...

Yep my kids went through a super accident prone phase - Lego was a half asleep accident by a normally sensible child, other 2 were sports injuries...