Who should go to A&E with child - mum or dad?

We’ve had similar situations and honestly it really varied. Neither is the easy option. But if one of us really wanted or didn’t want we would tell each other and decide as a team.

It doesn't matter. If your child is ill enough to go to A&E you just figure it out in the instant, not disagree over which parent should go. I don't remember any discussion when my DD needed to go to hospital, I called 111, they said A&E, I told DH I needed to take her to A&E, he gave her a kiss and cuddle and off I went with her whilst he looked after DS.

Yep. Same with school meetings.

That's a very good point.

I am not sure there is any ‘should’ about it. However probably Dad as he has spent the day with son and can say how he has been more accurately.

Regardless of the logistics, I always used to send my kids to the GP or A&E with their Dad because I cottoned on pretty early that if I took them it would be pegged as "anxious mum" and if he took them then something would actually happen eg referral/medication/them being properly checked over.

I thought it didn’t really matter reading your post - fairly 50:50 on the “should”.

Perhaps Mum because Dad working on site? But then I could see the merit in Mum being with the baby who prefers Mum.

If Dad was taking him, why didn’t he do it earlier?

Does it really matter as long as one parent is there? There isn't a right or wrong and neither patent should feel guilty or blame the other.

I was at work when my ds had a fall at school and had to go to A&E. It would have made more sense for dh to take him as wfh already. As it happened I took him because i spoke to ds who wanted me. I stayed an hour though allowing them to find a replacement so patient care was not impacted. Dh needed that time to collect dd's but had it been an immediate emergency it would have been up to him to take him and I would have left as soon as able to.

No right answer.

I tend to go regardless as I'm not too emotional so can keep a clear head. DH tends to be more caught up in the emotion. He's much better at dealing with an upset/worried sibling at home than I am. We try to play to our strengths in a crisis.

Dad as he seen child during the day and knows how child is. No right or wrong here. Hope dc is feeling better soon

Of all things to be nit picking about when you have a sick child…

Had this when ds had an accident as a toddler. It was a full on, screaming, potential to scar emergency. I was bf a 9 week old. There was no real time to think about it.
Dh took him.

I'd say Dad because he's been with DC all day so knows what he's been like all day and can answer questions.

What are your reasons for saying this? I'm genuinely curious given the very specific circumstances of the OP

You’re in for a tough night either way. In your situation I’d say mum stays home with Velcro baby because you know that’s the best parent for that situation. Older child is more likely to be fine with either parent. Whoever’s doing the hospital trip will probably have the same experience, whereas the night shift with the baby will go better if mum does it. It’s all very well saying child going to hospital gets to pick the parent, but child going to hospital can spend all day in bed sleeping if they need to whereas the adults have to work and look after the baby. I’d do whichever gets the adults the most amount of sleep collectively. I hope everything goes well for your child at hospital, and everyone gets a good nights sleep. These situations are stressful when they’re so young.

Mum takes the child because she's due to be off tomorrow.

My ex and I always worked it that the parent who had the least amount of driving or who would be off with the child the next day did the run to hospital so the other could sleep. Expectation being that parent would sleep so that they could pick up the slack as soon as they got home the next day and let the other rest. It usually ended up being me as my job was more flexible and I wouldn't have slept if ds was sick anyway plus breastfeeding. Whereas ex would have actually slept if he stayed at home.

This.

Dad is the one who has been with the child all day so will be able to answer questions and provide information to medical staff.

My husband has always taken our children to either dentist/drs/A&E, purely because he can drive!
I’ve always stayed home with the other children

Dad at a push as he has been with the child all day and best placed to answer questions, but really either parent would be ok

I always insist on it being me. I will recall their medical history much better and they tend to veer towards wanting mummy. I also will not sleep because I’m a worrier. DH will sleep no problem and be much better placed to be a capable parent the next day.

It’s absolutely different for every family though. I prefer to be the one who sorts out the children and DH prefers to be the one who cooks and cleans so naturally child jobs fall to me.

Mum

It that’d been us, we’d have all gone. So, both sick child and clingy baby have mum and dad supports mum. A 12 month old will usually sleep in a buggy or pram. I’d want us all there in case an emergency OP’s needed.

The parent who knows the child best / needs behaviour what’s normal for them what not . If child is ill and prefers one parent over the other, then the preferred parent should go.

In our family it would normally be me that took them. One time I had a very tiny nursing newborn though, so Dad took them that time. The sky didn't fall down and it was fine.

Dad has been around all day and seeing the symptoms to relay to the doctors, so he’s probably best placed to go to A&E. Also Mum’s been at work so has “earned” not spending her evening in hospital. But if Dad insisted on staying at home on the basis that it could be a late night and he’s at work the next day, that also seems reasonable.