Who should go to A&E with child - mum or dad?

Thiswayorthatway · 24/03/2025 15:30

NameChangedSpring25 · 20/03/2025 18:53

A good point about Dads being taken more seriously though….

Err no, I don’t think so. Either parent could go.

cheesestringss · 24/03/2025 15:27

NameChangedSpring25 · 20/03/2025 18:42

not me, a relative:

DC1 is 6 y/old - told by 111 to go to A&E - stomach pain (he’s usually very tough), but has been in agony all day, crying for his mum who has just got home from work. Dad has been at home with him (WFH but taken emergency parental leave)
DC2 is 12 months - still very attached to mum during night. Will settle with dad but would take longer. Mum would worry a lot if not at hospital with DS1.

both parents work full time and alternate sickness days. Assuming nothing serious it’s mums turn to take tomorrow off work and dad will go to work (ideally on site tomorrow)

which parent should have taken DS1 to A&E?

that is one weird transactional approach. Whoever is available to take the child to hospital goes. If he needs to stay longer, you work out the practicalities then.

TheGoogleMum · 24/03/2025 15:27

Id have sent Dad i think as the 12 month old will be easier for the Mum it sounds like. Both will worry

PurpleThistle7 · 24/03/2025 15:25

(Oh and we never take our other child to hospital if one of them needs to go. Too many germs and too hard to keep multiple children settled. We always split up)

PurpleThistle7 · 24/03/2025 15:24

There's no good answer. DH and I had a vague system where I'd do daytimes and he'd do nighttimes at the hospital (my daughter had a stretch of time she was in and out of the hospital a bit) so if it was a daytime run I'd do it and then we'd swap or the opposite. I couldn't sleep at all at the hospital and he could so it was the only thing that kept us sane. But honestly it was sometimes a inexplicable maths equation involving work + who slept the night before + who had something else happening that week + etc etc.

T1Dmama · 24/03/2025 15:21

Well since baby won’t settle with dad surely the obvious answer is dad goes to A&E and mum stays home with baby then dad either brings DC1 back in morning before heading to work or mum & dad swap.

m really this for for the parents to decide between them though

Toddlerteaplease · 24/03/2025 13:25

It doesn’t matter as long as the parent has PR.

Spacecowboys · 24/03/2025 13:22

Either parent is fine. On a personal level , I'd always be the one to go to A and E. I work in our nearest hospital (clinical role) and I'm confident that I wouldn't be 'fobbed' off.

DecafDodger · 24/03/2025 13:08

Euni2023 · 24/03/2025 12:10

Both !! it shouldnt be a toss up who takes there child to hospital.

they have 2 kids, probably better if one parent stays with the baby as well

Euni2023 · 24/03/2025 12:10

Both !! it shouldnt be a toss up who takes there child to hospital.

Blades2 · 22/03/2025 09:58

Who should take him? Whoever the child wants? Mine would want me over their dad every time for hospital.

Threecraws · 21/03/2025 23:29

A child going to a and e is not the time to be arguing about who should be with them.
I always go to a and e because I am the one who does all the medical appointments and keeps records and can give the comprehensive medical history. Husband would have to rely on my notes.

DadBodAlready · 21/03/2025 23:25

Whoever the child wants to go, one of you or both. It really doesn't matter.
With us it was usually both and if we had to take a vacation day or unpaid leave so be it. We wanted to ensure that DC knew both parents cared enough to be there.

Badgerandfox227 · 21/03/2025 21:50

I would say dad as he’s been with child during the day so know symptoms and what has been eaten etc. Either way, both parents would worry.

Dawnb19 · 21/03/2025 21:46

Depends on the child. My children want me when there tired or poorly and they want their dad for fun and when they are scared. Also my partner works more than me and works away or nights so I'm best for organising gp, dentist ect so will know what to say to the doctors.

Lulu49 · 21/03/2025 21:38

I'm taking this that mum should go because she doesn't have to go to work tomorrow whereas Dad does and we all know that A&E can take HOURS and if admitted to hospital little sleep will be had

MustWeDoThis · 21/03/2025 21:02

NameChangedSpring25 · 20/03/2025 18:42

not me, a relative:

DC1 is 6 y/old - told by 111 to go to A&E - stomach pain (he’s usually very tough), but has been in agony all day, crying for his mum who has just got home from work. Dad has been at home with him (WFH but taken emergency parental leave)
DC2 is 12 months - still very attached to mum during night. Will settle with dad but would take longer. Mum would worry a lot if not at hospital with DS1.

both parents work full time and alternate sickness days. Assuming nothing serious it’s mums turn to take tomorrow off work and dad will go to work (ideally on site tomorrow)

which parent should have taken DS1 to A&E?

Both of them should have made an effort to take him! Even if it meant dragging baby along. It wouldn't have killed any of them.

Avoidingsleep · 21/03/2025 20:32

There isn’t a right answer here. It’s whatever works best for the family.

TBH in our house Mum usually goes as Dad struggles more with hospitals and mum is calmer in an emergency/ stressful situation. But Dad will go if needed.

Jumpers4goalposts · 21/03/2025 18:54

Often with the lengthy waits if we need to go to urgent care me and my DH will take turns. So I’ll go and spend a few hours there and then we’ll swap over.

I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer.

Vynalbob · 21/03/2025 18:15

In this case dad....as he'd seen the symptoms
IMO

CarpetKnees · 21/03/2025 17:30

DownwhichofLate did yesterday teatime-ish @Sofiewoo

Sofiewoo · 21/03/2025 10:19

Lauz841 · 21/03/2025 09:29

I'm very surprised to see a number of people suggesting that they would take the entire family of 4 off on a trip to A&E, including a 1 year old. A&E is super busy, you could be there all night, taking up twice as many seats as necessary. Not to mention the risks involved in taking a perfectly healthy 12 month old into a hospital filled with people who are sick and have touched everything. I would be avoiding at all costs.

Really? I’ve seen basically no comments saying this.

Lauz841 · 21/03/2025 09:29

I'm very surprised to see a number of people suggesting that they would take the entire family of 4 off on a trip to A&E, including a 1 year old. A&E is super busy, you could be there all night, taking up twice as many seats as necessary. Not to mention the risks involved in taking a perfectly healthy 12 month old into a hospital filled with people who are sick and have touched everything. I would be avoiding at all costs.

chattyness · 20/03/2025 22:51

His dad should have taken him asap then swapped with mum as soon as they were able to as it was his mum he was crying for.
When I was little I got rushed into hospital via ambulance and my dad came with me, mum stayed at home with my siblings, but I was so glad I wouldn't have wanted my mum there.

Itsnotallaboutyoulikeyouthink · 20/03/2025 22:46

Well unless I had a newborn I would go to hospital no matter what. But that’s because I’m better in such a situation,