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Original poster

What's everyone's favourite joke

153 replies

Anon9898 · 20/03/2025 18:19

My boys have none uniform day and have to go to school with a joke?

What is everyone's favourite CLEAN joke

OP posts:
LouH1981 · 20/03/2025 19:21

What goes Ha Ha Ha bonk, Ha Ha Ha bonk?

A man laughing his head off 😊

DeathEars · 20/03/2025 19:21

Where do you weigh a pie?

Over the rainbow.

MsNevermore · 20/03/2025 19:21

My 8yo DS’s current favourites:

”What do you call a cow with no legs?”

Ground beef. 🤷🏻‍♀️😂😂

And:

”Why did the chicken cross the road?”

in style of a rooster squark “BECAAAAAAAAAUSE*

Both silly.
Both illicit belly laughs.

LouH1981 · 20/03/2025 19:21

So my neighbour knocked on my door at 1:30am this morning!
My FRONT door!
Luckily, I was already up playing the bagpipes

TaggieO · 20/03/2025 19:18

Why are pirates called pirates?

because they AAAAAARRRRRRRRR

HowardTJMoon · 20/03/2025 19:17

What's blue and fluffy?

Blue fluff

Ddakji · 20/03/2025 19:14

KnickerlessParsons · 20/03/2025 18:23

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.

This is my favourite too!

stayathomer · 20/03/2025 19:12

What does Santa say when he’s gardening? Grow, grow, grow (or mow mow mow!)

YessicaHaircut · 20/03/2025 19:11

DS’s current favourites:

What do you get if you cross a cow with a unicorn?
A moo-nicorn

What do you call an Octopus with socks on?
A Socktopus

LePetitMaman · 20/03/2025 19:10

What kind of plant grows out of your pants?

Bumboo

rumred · 20/03/2025 19:10

What's green and pear shaped? A pear.
What's brown and runs round the garden? A fence.

Itsallsostressful · 20/03/2025 19:10

Why did the Teddy not eat his dinner ?

He was already stuffed 😂😂

BrownPapery · 20/03/2025 19:04

What did the Buddhist monk say at Pizza Hut?

”Make me one with everything.”

mimi14 · 20/03/2025 19:04

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
"I'm eighty!" (Aye matey)

Redheadedstepchild · 20/03/2025 19:02

Sourisblanche · 20/03/2025 18:57

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the toilet?

Because the ‘p’ is silent Smile

Bit blue, that one. We can't be having any blue around here. There's a child's tricycle outside these doors. (To paraphrase Peter Kay's Phoenix Nights.)

Sourisblanche · 20/03/2025 18:57

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the toilet?

Because the ‘p’ is silent Smile

HolidayHattie · 20/03/2025 18:54

More elephant jokes...

Why do elephants wear big green floppy hats?
So they can crawl across snooker tables undetected. Bet you've never seen an elephant on a snooker table...
Shows it works then.

Why should you not go into the jungle between 2 & 4 pm?
Because that's when the elephants practice their parachute jumps.
Why have crocodiles got flattened snouts?
Because they went into the jungle between 2 & 4 pm.

CurlewKate · 20/03/2025 18:53

”Waiter, bring me an alligator sandwich and make it snappy!”

Redheadedstepchild · 20/03/2025 18:52

Redheadedstepchild · 20/03/2025 18:51

Because they're a rare bit heavy?

Show quote history

Best I could think of. I'm not Oscar Wilde.

Tigerswin · 20/03/2025 18:52

Why did the jelly baby go to school?

He wanted to be a smartie

Redheadedstepchild · 20/03/2025 18:51

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 20/03/2025 18:48

I don't know, why are all these jokes about rabbits and elephants?😁

Show quote history

Because they're a rare bit heavy?

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 20/03/2025 18:48

Redheadedstepchild · 20/03/2025 18:45

Why are all these jokes about rabbits and elephants?

I don't know, why are all these jokes about rabbits and elephants?😁

DoYouReally · 20/03/2025 18:47

Probably my boss!!

Clueless but a nice guy 😝

CheeseNPickle3 · 20/03/2025 18:46

Why don't werewolves ever know what time it is?

Because they're not when-wolves.

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 20/03/2025 18:46

Screamingabdabz · 20/03/2025 18:35

What do you call a French sandal maker?

Phillipe Phlopp

Ding ding ding 🏆 😂