Fed up with DH’s pervy friend coming round our house

Read him the tiot act?

Absolutely no point OP.
Both of them have made a point of absolutely humiliating you.
That scum friend in farting, your husband implying the same about you.

Neither of them have a scrap of respect for you.

You truly are married to scum and he has moved his friend in to reinforce just how little you count.

This is your life OP.
I feel desperately sorry for your children.
What an excuse of a man they have as a father.

Oh and his friend is deliberately provoking you to find out just how little respect your husband has for you.
Your scum husband rose to the challenge and heaped further humiliation upon you.

What age are you all, 21? You're a grown married woman being dictated to by his friend like you're youngsters. There's no way anyone would be calling to my house once a week let alone 3 times and if my husband told me he was coming back he'd be told if he turns up at my door you'll both be homeless. Wise up OP. You don't give your home up for anybody. His comments about women are just low IQ, unfunny attempts at wit but the fart would have done me in. So incredibly rude and looks like he's making himself at home. Tell him to get to feck.

Doesn't sound as if either of them has any respect for you.

This character is pushing the boundaries and seeing what he can get away with. Dinner cooked, heating on, TV on. All for free and lads together farting, belching, hoping for some snacks and having some lads talk that resembles Men Behaving Badly. Soon he will be staying there overnight. Got to stop it now.

...and women talk about stuff between themselves when men aren't around, but you consider the people you're with.My boys know I will disapprove but not be offended by sweariness, but they wouldn't do it in front of their grandma because it would offend her .

I very rarely swear OP, but please take this one from an old, wise woman.

Kick both of the Fuckers out.

The friend is vile, and now he's bitter and twisted too. And your husband is lapping it up and currying favour with this vile specimen. How old is he? Six?

Please remember the saying, when someone shows you who he is, believe him. I'm sorry my darling, but you picked a dud.

Indeed. I can't imagine why he's still single.🙄

Honestly, kick them both out. Tell them you’ve had enough catering to dickheads. Go watch the football at the pub. I would also ask if he enjoyed the meal he wasn’t invited to. Yes? Good, because that was the last one he was getting. If he wants to eat he can put his hand in his pocket and buy a fucking pizza. You’re not their brother or their buddy and deserve some respect in your own home.

FFS OP, go downstairs, guns blazing, turn off the TV, and tell the pair of them that you are sick and tired of their purile behaviour, and that if they want to watch the football they can fuck off down the pub, and unless they're prepared to behave like gentlemen in your home, then they needn't bother to come back!

This.
You have a DH problem.
It feels to me that your DH has had his head turned by his dickhead friend's unfettered comments. Like he's suddenly realised he doesn't have to self censor, because you can't actually do anything about it. And he doesn't even have to say anything himself, dickhead friend says it all for him.
He's not just refusing to stand up to him, he's actually enjoying watching you squirm. And getting bolder himself every day.
You're going to have to be very clear in your mind what you want the outcome to be here, because I think it could get very messy very quickly.

Genuinely, why are you being so wet?

Is this an episode from Men Behaving Badly? 🤔

Totally agree with this.

I don't think DH is going to do anything anyway, it's up to you to set (and enforce) the boundaries. He's only going to get worse if left unchecked, now's the time to put a stop to his childish comments.

Chuck them both out. Problem solved.

Your DH is wrong. It's offensive and disrespectful.

I'd have had to say something if it was me. Something like " I don't find that funny at all"

Then walk away.

sorry but to me the comments are daft banter between male friends, no big deal. Your DH does the same. I bet when they are alone it's a lot of the time. As do many guys.

I second this

Her husband wants him there. Therein lies the problem.

Sorry Op but please read my earlier post - this is just the start unless you woman up. He'll turn up early for dinner more and more and he'll be sleeping at your place before you know it. This is not the time to suffer in silence

No, you are NOT being unreasonable. You are being FAR too accommodating. Tell your DH that said friend’s honeymoon separation spell is over. Period. No doubt the friend has a redeeming characteristic or two … but fundamentally he’s a creep and an ignorant dick. Furthermore your DH should be putting YOUR concerns above his pal’s neediness. I’m a bit surprised that he doesn’t appear to be doing so anyway. Your home isn’t a ‘guys drinking den’ where nothing’s off limits. So.. buckle up girl. DH needs to know that this is a non-negotiable situation. The guy doesn’t darken your doorstep again. The honeymoon is over. Any backsliding and there will be HELL to pay.

All that after u had cooked both of them a meal 😳 ur a bigger woman than me.
To be honest sounds like ur husband is like him and that's why he's his best friend.
I wouldn't be with him to be honest. Just disgusting behaviour and attitude from them both.

’Jeez, Bob, no wonder Linda got the ick. You’re giving me the ick too.’

’Give it a rest, Bob. This isn’t a Carry On movie and you’re not Sid James.’

’No wonder Linda left you if this how you talk about women.’

’Don’t be such a dick, Bob.’

’I’ve had enough of your misogynistic crap, Bob. Get the fuck out of my house. You sound creepy as hell.’

Why are you telling your Dh and not directly telling the friend? You have standards and if he can’t honour them he must go. You simply tell him that. Be assertive and he’ll respect you appropriately. It’s your home. Speak up. You have EVERY right to.

And more to the point should be aware that it would cause offence. He wouldn’t say it in a professional setting, so he knows it’s not acceptable.