Fed up with DH’s pervy friend coming round our house

Explain to DH that he's going to find himself in the same situation as his mate if he doesn't stop being such an arse.

His mate's behaviour might be tolerated when it's just men being arses but it's not acceptable otherwise. And anyone who's saying someone can't take a joke needs to swiftly learn that jokes are only funny when everyone is laughing. And be told so.

If your DH starts grumbling you're no fun anymore, just reply that he never used to be such an offensive arse but people change...

What a gross individual. How sad that your husband is putting his mate above your feelings. Tell your husband he's no longer welcome, it's your house too.

Get DH to drop his car off tomorrow so that way you don't have to put up with him in your house again.

I call out my partners sexist vile mates, why can’t you?
so much for having someone’s back in a room theyre not in.

how are you this morning @PearlGold?

I read a thread on here a few months ago where the pervy friend escalated to groping the lady in question.
And when I say grope I actually mean assault.
The husband ‘got him’ to apologise and said no more and couldn’t understand why his wife was upset.
And the wife was traumatised.
I would question my marriage. My OH would launch anyone who spoke like this and he can be as earthy as anything at times. But he knows about being appropriate.
Both of these men are now making you feel uncomfortable. They aren’t in adolescence. Although reflecting on the TV drama with that name, they are behaving like two toxic teenagers.

That sounds to me as if you feel you need 'permission' from your husband to tick his mate off in your home.

You don't.

My go-to response would be 'it's getting easier and easier to see why she dumped you, Bob'. Every fucking time. It's time for these two men to feel uncomfortable and awkward. Because they SHOULD. Both of them!

Please, please, PLEASE, find some self respect from somewhere and deal with your DH. This is turning out to be more of a problem with him and his respect (or lack of) towards you. You should thank his revolting friend for revealing this aspect of your marriage, and you need to do something about it or you'll be an unhappy wet blanket for the rest of your life.

To be fair i wouldnt take offence to it and if said to me id have probably said just dont stretch the elastic if you put then on or something equally as stupid and childish.
I dont think the comments are particularly bad but the point is you do and its your house. If you arent happy with the comments the YOU need to tell him.

What would bother me is being at my house all the time. I can understand wanting to be a friend to him but i couldnt be doing with someone about all the time. Id tell your husband to go to the friends house or watch football in the pub and give me peace!

It isn’t making you weak, although your comment is quite passive aggressive.

You have an opportunity to be more assertive and I would encourage you to grab it with both hands.
You definitely could have said “Listening to that fart after you ate my food, didn’t offer to wash up, sitting with a tinny dismisssing women, I can’t think why she’d possibly want you gone out of her life. You’re such a Prince, behaving like that, you’ll be snapped up in no time.”

Have you heard the expression " Familiarity breeds contempt" ? He's being allowed far too much access to your home and is clearly getting way too comfortable and over familiar at your expense and discomfort. Tell your husband he has to support him outwith the family home! Tell the freind if he was in the habit of making stupid, female demeaning comments. in front of his own wife,he will not be allowed to do it to you. He is being disrespectful ,probably why his wife is gone!

My STBXH is like this, I am leaving him for other reasons believe it or not 😆 but Ithis thread has opened my eyes in terms of acceptable behaviour. I always thought that it was just banter and the weird thing is everyone we know just thinks he is really funny (or at least acts like that and laughs with him) especially his family but also people we know in general. I did think to myself he doesn’t seem to like women much but as his behaviour was normalised (other wives seemed to think it was fine and expected). If I ever said anything I was the miserable one or ‘taking it the wrong way’. I genuinely thought when I read the OP that this was my actual husband. Once again thanks Mumsnet!

Yuck! What a miserable incel.

I would absolutely put my foot down and stop him coming round. Tell him directly and tell your DH. Make it none negotiable.

Nah, you need to speak up.

Sounds like he's grooming you by pushing your boundaries as a couple.

These men are so tiresome. It must be exhausting having to deal with their shit every day.

What a pair of charmers.

I'd kick em both out tbh.

As much as I hate to assume there are men who are awful to women when they are confused about their sexuality,sadly it does happen. OP please don't assume this is happening within your relationship but it can't be dismissed.

He loves being a boy again with his mate and ur just the moaning her indoors...

U don't really need to as u 100% know what happened.
Don't let him keep driving the narrative.
Work out where the lines are of what is and isn't acceptable and put ball in his court. Let there be a consequence to his actions if he ignores ur wishes. He thinks he can do what he wants and there's nothing u can do about it

Find out why he is so supportive of his friend & why his feelings are more important than yours.

Tell dh as they are good friends they can keep each other company in the house or flat they will be renting together if he dosnt put his foot down with his friend and put you first.

Bob saying his ex 'turned into a nutter' translates directly as 'realised I'm a c^^t'