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AIBU?

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Not invited to sister-in-law’s wedding

407 replies

Unlisted · 20/03/2025 16:52

Right it’s my first post but it’s a long one. I want to give full background.

I am very close to my family and DH would say he was close to his as well. He probably sees his mother three or four times a week, if he is working at home he will pick the kids up and drop in to see them. I don’t think he would care if I ever saw them.

I however make him see my family, not every time I see them but enough. I am close to my sister and my BiL naturally gravitates to my DH who acknowledges that he is a good guy but who he finds boring. At our wedding FiL met my BiL and nicknamed him Joe90- a puppet from the 60s!

Every time we go to see them as a family , maybe every month DH used to ask if he had to go and then my son would say the same. It was hurtful so he stopped.

About twice sometimes three times a year Sister and BiL get heavily discounted holidays and travel and we occasionally join them for a couple of days.

On Sunday we were arranging to meet them at a holiday destination after Easter but DH kept saying he wouldn’t be available. He wouldn’t elucidate but kept repeating that I should go ahead with the kids. It was really embarrassing because he wouldn’t tell me why.

We got in the car and I asked him why he couldn’t confirm and my normally mild mannered good humoured husband pulled over and screamed at the top of his lungs a few centimetres from my face and in front of the kids said that he’d be at his sister’s wedding. She is getting married in a quiet ceremony with close friends and family as his family aren’t freaks like mine!

I think I have a good relationship with his family. I am stunned,

I am not invited (neither are the other partners).

I was crying my eyes out and he was so serious with the kids about how they had to keep everything a secret as his mother doesn’t know yet.

My five year old now uses the word freak all the time.

He has apologised but I want an explanation. He says it’s not his gig!

OP posts:
SardinesOnGingerbread · 20/03/2025 17:04

I would absolutely leave over this for so many reasons. I'm completely inviting the 'Oh but if he's an excellent father and a top husband the rest of the time' brigade, but there are lines I choose not to cross and showing my children that I will be treated this way is one of them. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 20/03/2025 17:02

Someone who behaves as you describe has a screw loose.

pizzaHeart · 20/03/2025 17:02

So are your kids invited?

stayathomer · 20/03/2025 17:01

His mother doesn’t know his sister is getting married? Was my first thought but other than that how can he not have told you? Op that’s pretty huge- he was probably put in a tight spot but still x

HansHolbein · 20/03/2025 17:00

Can’t believe what I’ve just read. That’s awful. I’m so sorry.

Whatsitreallylike · 20/03/2025 16:59

Your husband is the red flag here!

Freedompassed · 20/03/2025 16:56

That's horrid. I'm sorry.