Feeling extremely down about SAHM life

Are you unreasonable to want to work 1 day a week rather than just being a full time stay at home partner?
No or course not, your interests and drive matters too.

When my children were little I worked a couple of nights a week in a local pub.

Very sociable, pay ok, no childcare costs!

I agree it’s a pain, I remember the dentist telling one of mine off as I was mid exam
and they tried to have a close look at some
of the equipment…but actually I could use work
time to have the shorter appointments.

and as for whether you find ft sahm or part time work with small kids harder it’s individual - working was easier for me.

Work is like a holiday from young kids. Go back to work and use a nursery. It sounds like it will do you good.

I'm not sure that being at work is going to help you find time for a hairwash. With all kindness, I had to take mine with me to the hairdresser's, the doctors etc. I vividly remember having a dental checkup with a child lying on top of me.

See if you qualify for free nursery hours though, that could help.

How old is your youngest?

Although it is hard, IME with similar aged children, working and having small ones is harder.

Are there places locally you can bring them to get out the house and spend time with adults? Do you have friends with children of a similar age?

As they get older and more “portable” you might find you enjoy it more.

Why can't you go back to work full time if that's what you want to do? A childminder or nanny would probably be cheaper than two sets of nursery fees.

A lot of jobs you couldn't be able to have hair appointments during the week either so I'm not quite sure why you are putting your life on hold any more than you would be by working?

I think maybe manage your expectations, just accept that all that sort of stuff is weekend/evening stuff now, so you have to arrange with your DH to cover for each other for those things. I wouldn't even contemplate booking in for a hair appointment with young kids!

I'm one of many who has zero family support for childcare, so I'd also consider myself incredibly lucky to have relatives who would do childcare while you work, rather than being upset they won't cover for other stuff.

If you're saying that preschoolers are hard work then YANBU, but if you are annoyed that you can't do things for you with preschoolers in tow, then that's just life with young kids.

work is much less tiring and of you’re lucky, you can nip out in your lunch break for some alone time..

Put them in nursery and go back to work - it’s so important even if you just about cover the cost through what you make right now.

It’s really tough with dc that age - i couldn’t have coped with two that close in age, and was much happier when mine got over 3. Not surprised GP not keen to watch two under 3s, it’ll be exhausting for them even if they’re young and fit grandparents.

I assume you can’t earn enough to cover childcare to work two or three days a week?

Could you not use nursery now? Would you Ben eligible for the free hours and tax free childcare or is DH a high earner? I have only the one toddler and that’s hard enough so I feel your pain

Can DH reduce their hours to take on more of the load to enable you to get out to a job?