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Original poster

Boyfriend keeps pushing my boundaries

104 replies

Hurricanejsms · 20/03/2025 14:34

Bfs family is visiting and he keeps allowing them to come in my room unannounced. It’s my time of the month and I got blood on the sheets which they seen from him not telling them it’s off limits. So embarrassing. Everytime I try telling him it turns into an argument and he gets defensive and tells me about how bad I treat him and he tries so hard to please me. How am I in the wrong?

OP posts:
Snugglemonkey · 20/03/2025 17:11

outerspacepotato · 20/03/2025 14:45

Now you know he won't have your back when it comes to his family being intrusive and rude in your space and making stupid comments. He's more interested in pleasing his family when they're being rude than you, his gf being comfortable.

Are you sure you want to continue seeing this guy? You just got a good look at how life with him is going to go and it's not going to improve.

Absolutely this. He has shown you who he is. Be grateful for a lucky escape!

AllrightNowBaby · 20/03/2025 17:01

His parents are still there so tell them yourself,
“Can I just mention that I don’t like anyone coming into our bedroom”….
”Please don’t come into our bedroom any more as it makes me uncomfortable”….
”I’m not used to family coming into our bedroom, just thought I’d mention”…
If they don’t like it, so what, they can sod off and if your partner complains, he can sod off as well…
Put your foot down OP…

IButtleSir · 20/03/2025 16:54

Hurricanejsms · 20/03/2025 16:52

I am making my own money from our business. I do the admin around the kids and make a salary. But I definitely don’t have time to be dealing with intrusion

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In that case, there really shouldn't be anything stopping you getting rid of him. You deserve better than this, you know you do.

Original poster
Hurricanejsms · 20/03/2025 16:52

IButtleSir · 20/03/2025 16:50

Time to go back to work, @Hurricanejsms.

I am making my own money from our business. I do the admin around the kids and make a salary. But I definitely don’t have time to be dealing with intrusion

OP posts:
IButtleSir · 20/03/2025 16:50

Time to go back to work, @Hurricanejsms.

Astr0zombie · 20/03/2025 16:48

Hurricanejsms · 20/03/2025 16:47

We do have one dc. Im a SAHM hence the hosting. I’m not completely vulnerable as I’m a shareholder in our company 50/50 so I wouldn’t be out if I left. Just thought I’d mention that so you guys don’t think I’m a total idiot lol. I definitely feel like one for putting up with this behaviour.

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Ah I apologise if I have missed that already. Yeah I think you need to crack down hard and if you want to give him the chance to prove himself then he gets one. It’s totally inappropriate.

Original poster
Hurricanejsms · 20/03/2025 16:47

Astr0zombie · 20/03/2025 16:43

Why on earth would they need to come into your room?

I’d throw this one back OP. This is bizarre and the fact he isn’t supporting you is crazy.
It’s your house and you have the right to privacy.

I feel like if you got married and had kids you’d have much bigger issues on your hands down the line.

We do have one dc. Im a SAHM hence the hosting. I’m not completely vulnerable as I’m a shareholder in our company 50/50 so I wouldn’t be out if I left. Just thought I’d mention that so you guys don’t think I’m a total idiot lol. I definitely feel like one for putting up with this behaviour.

OP posts:
Cucy · 20/03/2025 16:43

In future do not host them when he is at work.

For now, tell them to please not go into your room as you could be getting changed.

When DP gets back then he can host them.

Once they’ve gone home then I’d seriously consider whether this relationship is right for you.
He doesn’t sound like he respects you at all.

Astr0zombie · 20/03/2025 16:43

Why on earth would they need to come into your room?

I’d throw this one back OP. This is bizarre and the fact he isn’t supporting you is crazy.
It’s your house and you have the right to privacy.

I feel like if you got married and had kids you’d have much bigger issues on your hands down the line.

Original poster
Hurricanejsms · 20/03/2025 16:41

Bolscassis · 20/03/2025 16:20

Whose house it it?

Ours

OP posts:
commonsense61 · 20/03/2025 16:40

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster
Hurricanejsms · 20/03/2025 16:40

Makebettermen · 20/03/2025 16:19

Well does he have to work? Why aren't you working? What does "hosting" mean?

When my GPs visited my parents still went to work and left them to make themselves at home. They didn't need "hosting".

Why haven't you answered why they needed to go into your room or what exactly was said about the blood?

They don’t need to. They just do to speak to us. Without knocking. Oh god at this risk of sounding like a complete idiot I’m a SAHM. There was once a time where partner was Prince Charming. Once we had dc and I stopped working that chivalry went out the window. Along with his respect for me. Tale as old as time. Hosting means showing them around. Entertainment while partner is gone. Cleaning duties etc. I believe it was “have you got any other sheets.”

OP posts:
Cucy · 20/03/2025 16:40

How long have you lived together?

Is this the first time they’ve visited?

They’re very rude to enter your room and he’s being a twat for making you feel like you’re in the wrong.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 20/03/2025 16:34

How long have you been together, has he always been a dick or is it a more recent thing?

Bananalanacake · 20/03/2025 16:33

How long have you been together. Do you live together, sounds like you do. Could you have a relationship without living together? Then when his parents visit him they won't be able to access your room, you don't have to see them at all if you don't want to. Life is so much easier when you don't live together.

ItGhoul · 20/03/2025 16:30

Do you and your boyfriend live together? When you say 'my' room do you mean a room that's just yours, or is it also your boyfriend's bedroom?

Why, exactly, are his family going into the bedroom? Are they going in while you're in there, without knocking? Or are they going in when you're not around? And are we talking about kids or adults? It's very, very weird if they're adults who are wandering into your bedroom uninvited in the first place, let alone commenting on the state of the sheets.

godmum56 · 20/03/2025 16:21
  1. Tell family to fuck off out of your room and stay out
  2. Tell boyfriend to fuck off full stop
  3. there is no 3
Bolscassis · 20/03/2025 16:20

Whose house it it?

Makebettermen · 20/03/2025 16:19

Well does he have to work? Why aren't you working? What does "hosting" mean?

When my GPs visited my parents still went to work and left them to make themselves at home. They didn't need "hosting".

Why haven't you answered why they needed to go into your room or what exactly was said about the blood?

IlooklikeNigella · 20/03/2025 16:19

I'm sorry but - they made comments??? What comments and in what context? That is weird AF.

ShhhhhItsASurprise · 20/03/2025 16:18

The word is NO, OP. Start using it.

why are you not at work?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 20/03/2025 16:16

You absolutely have to dump him. Nothing else is going to work.

Not just because of the coming into your room but also the leaving you to host 🤬

Maray1967 · 20/03/2025 16:13

Can you go out for the whole day? I would if I wasn’t working from home. Commenting on the blood in the sheets is vile. Obviously it’s embarrassing and no sane person would comment. But then no normal person should be going in someone else’s bedroom uninvited.

Nowvoyager99 · 20/03/2025 16:11

Hurricanejsms · 20/03/2025 15:38

No knocking. Most of the time no. He has left me to host and says he has to work.

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Of course he has!

Seriously I would pack a bag and leave them all to it.

He is absolutely taking the piss out of you.

IButtleSir · 20/03/2025 16:10

Please dump this entire family.