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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I have a surprise for you!

36 replies

InvisibilityCloakActivated · 20/03/2025 14:27

AIBU to think this is a horrible sentence to hear? Does anyone actually like surprises?

It is one thing when you have a birthday coming up and someone says "do you want to know what I've got you or would you rather have a surprise?" (Fine, it isnt a real surprise, I know youve got me a "thing"). But does anyone in the world appreciate a random "I have a surprise for you"? This could mean anything from "I got you a book" to "I'm coming to visit and stay with you for a month".

YABU - everyone loves not knowing the things that other people know and having no control over the thing that has been planned and about to happen.

YANBU - tell me what it is so I can plan my day/time/meals/outfit/finances/purchases accordingly and think about my reaction ahead of time.

OP posts:
TinyTear · 20/03/2025 15:18

I hate surprises because they are usually misguided and end up shite.

I'd like some earrings ends up with here is a making kit when I have never shown any interest in crafts

and don't get me started on surprise parties which end up with the person being miserable all day thinking people don't care about them all for them to feel soooo freaking great they organised it all. fuck off with your surprises

senua · 20/03/2025 15:10

I think surprises are overrated.
A "ta dah!" lasts a microsecond and then is gone.
A "let's book book something" means weeks/months of happy planning and then anticipation. And knowing what clothing is suitable.
I'd much rather the second.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 20/03/2025 15:09

This isn't a yabu/yanbu thing.
Some people love surprises, some loathe them and everyone else is somewhere in the middle.

natura · 20/03/2025 15:08

It depends on your relationship to control.

From your post it sounds like being 'in control' is pretty important to you, so it makes sense that a surprise feels like an attack.

For others, having someone else take the wheel is a delightful relief.

Nowvoyager99 · 20/03/2025 15:06

I bloody love surprises and would be thrilled if someone said this to me.

However, I am very good at boundaries and would have zero problems in refusing the surprise if I didn’t like the sound of it.

verycloakanddaggers · 20/03/2025 15:05

This one of those things where there's no universal right or wrong, but the giver should respect the recipient's preference.

Only cunts give surprises to people who they know don't like them.

offyoufuck · 20/03/2025 15:04

I HATE surprises. It's mostly because they've been used to be horrible in the past.

HomeBodyClub · 20/03/2025 15:03

My partner often says ‘I have a surprise for you’ and it really makes my day.

Swiftie1878 · 20/03/2025 15:01

Can’t stand surprises that demand anything of me. They’re rude and presumptuous.

A surprise gift? Jewellery, bunch of flowers? Lovely!

Time40 · 20/03/2025 14:32

I love surprises. There aren't enough surprises in life, in my opinion.

MidnightMillie · 20/03/2025 14:30

I can’t possibly vote because ‘Everyone’ doesn’t like surprises but I do 🤷‍♀️

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