Toddler dad picking up and touching other people's kids at playgroups

Very sad that you find this something of concern 😞

Family and friends are far more likely to sexually abuse children than strangers in a public setting.

God I miss the village.

This simply isn't true.

Depending on the dad’s cultural background, it could be completely normal to him. I used to work with a lot of West African dads who would think it was weird NOT to help a child onto a seat or something, or pat a child’s cheek etc. I also come from a background where children are made a huge fuss of by men and women equally - lots of cheek pinching and so on. DH works for an Indian company and the dads there picked up my DC when they were babies and carried them around.

My OH has twice spotted lost children in Asda and told me. One was heading for the door to the car park so I got hold of her hand and turned her round. When her mother appeared she did not even say thank you.
The other child was crying so I asked her if I could pick her up so that she could see her mother better. I walked her along the tills so that she could look down the aisles. Eventually a distraught mum dashed up and thanked me.
My OH often chats to children but would not touch one.

It’s sadly the society we’re living in. The fact this thread even exists shows that. I can remember DH spotting a clearly distressed and lost child in IKEA but he asked me to go over as he didn’t want people to think he was up to something.

Don't be ridiculous. Have you thought that maybe the press reports female teachers abusing boys more than male teachers abusing girls because they think it is more newsworthy (I.e more unusual!)

By the way, it's not 'having an affair' it's abuse.

It sounds innocent

Unless he's doing the Joe Biden Squeeze n Sniff, I think he's probably ok

There is a dad at playgroup that all of my kids have been drawn to. No idea why, don't know him otherwise and they aren't particularly friends with his kid, they just really like him. If they ask, he'll play it help them out. Not creepy.
On the other hand, there is a woman who also doesn't know me or my kids very well who constantly asks my daughter (16m) for cuddles. This feels incredibly wrong and like she is taking advantage of a small baby for affection. I've now taken to following baby around despite the fact that she prefers a little more freedom, and picking her up when the woman comes close. I think a lot of it is about how the situation can make the child or parent feel, some people just don't feel safe to be around.

@CosyLemur can you link to a source for that 50/50 statistic?

Yeah no this is bollocks.

This crap is exactly why so many men won't follow their dreams and work in nurseries or schools, having a penis doesn't mean someone is a wrongun.

When my kids were younger I had to be very active and participate in games etc at playgrounds and such because my oldest is ASD (for him to understand social rules and to protect other kids). So I was the "playmum" and I had kids all over coming up for hugs etc. I actually had to gently decline hugs or be discreet about it because my son got jealous but I'm sure I would have been treated like a paedophile if I'd been a male.

My dad was the fun dad. All kids loved him. They must have felt his maturity level was close to theirs 😆. He wasn't touchy feely creepy but would maybe pat a back as the dad you're talking about. There is nothing weird or sexual about patting a back!!! I think you need therapy.

Do you know if he knows the parents of the other two toddlers?

maybe this poor chap is ignored by the mums at the toddler group so interacts with the children to make himself feel in some way part of the group and less of an outsider?
not everyone is a predator and it’s always the ones you least expect.

I think you're reaction is very weird, but clearly not uncommon unfortunately.

A little girl fell off from a step quite high up on a raised platform a couple of weeks ago.
3 parents stood there watching - asking her if she was ok - but none dare to actually touch her until I picked her up and helped her down the equipment.
The mum was grateful once I found her at least, but I found the attitude of the people around so weird.

It’s actually not “50/50” or anything even close, despite what you say.

So because he’s a man interacting with children, in a perfectly harmless way, you think that’s weird?

This

Actually with sexual and physical abuse of small children it's actually about 50/50. And women pose as much risk as men.
However media reporting is not as equal.

Just look at how many kids get sexually assaulted in nurseries where it's predominantly female career.

I'm personally aware of a family that the son was sexually abused by his female neighbour.

Cases of teachers having affairs with their students is almost always a female teacher!

Lots of cases don't get reported until the children are adults because we indoctrinate our children about the bad man and tell them don't let men touch you in your no no square , rather than don't let anyone touch you in your no no square!

He’s not violating them in any way. Sounds like you’re making things weird that aren’t.

A few weeks ago at a toddler group a little one fell over and hit his head. It was a nasty bump and I tried to get his Mum’s attention (apparently she had seen but was having a conversation…). He put his arms out for me and I picked him up and took him to his Mum (who laughed at him). She hasn’t spoken to me since. I’d imagine she didn’t like that I touched him and I’m a woman but I felt so sad for him and was worried.

This will be another reason today's young people are so anxious. Growing up they werent allowed any interactions with anyone outside their immediate circle

OP, have a word with yourself please. You are looking for something sinister where it doesn’t exist.