(Most) Women don't look at men the same way men look at women?

This.

If you ever see how women behave around a truly handsome, very attractive guy (whom they don't know well enough to guage anything but looks and demeanor) - it's obvious.

I used to work in the NHS and in certain departments the staff were almost 99% female. In other ones (estates services) almost 99% male. I heard many conversations about two v good looking guys in estates services and they were never about their intelligence or humour!

Ever see a good looking guy single (unless he wants to be), no matter what his character? Nah.

Don't think I've ever looked at a male stranger in my life and thought "what an arse on that". Can't think of any females in my various friendship groups over the years who's done so either.

I can't see a man as attractive without knowing their personality. The guys I've lusted after are all wonderful people. I don't think I've ever looked at a random guy and been turned on by any body features.

I do notice beautiful women though! Even though I'm straight! Women are just more aesthetically pleasing 😂

Yep, shoulders, biceps, masculine hands, jaw, ass (yes), legs (if showing), height etc.

Rugby on TV causes me to be like a deer in headlights, I have to purposefully break my focus on it.

I think some men see women who they are not related to as completely different entities to women who they are related to. Women they know are human and they treat them normally; but women they don’t know are pieces of meat kind of thing, where they will check her ass and be pervy.

Whereas broadly speaking women are less likely to do that initial ogling of a man’s appearance. Most women probably look right through men in passing because they’re not interested/indifferent.

I think how attractive the people involved are plays an element into this too. Super attractive men who get attention in their own right, are less likely to be interested in random women going about their business and less likely to be creepy, they’ll just mind their own business. Likewise super attractive women are less likely to be interested in random guys in passing, but they’ll probably capture a lot of attention regardless. I don’t think many super attractive men would face the same level of attention from random people in passing as women would.

He doesn't know how all women look at men.

You know how you look at men, but you likewise don't know how all women look after men.

Anyway I'm not sure how you gauge intelligence or humour when just looking at them. If you don't know them, you can't know.

Personally I absolutely look at men physically.

It's their physique, specifically shoulder to waist ratio, plus face.

You say women look for a good mate, but again, just looking; you can't know that.
We look fof signs of health, symmetry and testosterone/masculinity - just like men do the opposite.

I have noticed them - as opposed to ogled - particularly when they sit with their legs splayed wide apart like they are herding a particularly rare escaped zoo animal. The bulge is reminiscent of play doh in a bag.

It takes more than that to start my engine; however I guess there are spectrums with this for both men and women.

Hahaha never. I have ogled good biceps tho

Absolute nonsense. There's no real difference. Remember the diet coke ad? Were women just surmising about how intelligent and kind the buff shirtless men might be? Dreamboys, centrefold in magazines, rear of the week in magazines, grown middle aged women lusting over Tom Daley in his speedos, girls throwing their knickers at boy bands etc.

Men and women may do it in different ways, but they both appreciate the physical form. I certainly look at some men and appreciate them.

Same. Dated a male model in my early twenties, boring in bed and boring out of it. Yawn.

Agree, so well written.. and it is all of that.

Let's be honest ladies if you are/when you were single did you ever oogle at a man's bulge?

The absolute physical adonis I had in my life very briefly was a total negging wanker and shit in the sack.
A real mistake on my part.
There are physical traits I admire in men, but I'm not a heckler or a stalker, I don't drool or drape myself over people, and I have never openly eyed up another man whilst being beside a partner.
Like a lot of others I am more concerned about my safety when around men.

I can't speak for all women, but generally when I find a man attractive I can't tell you it's because of a specific characteristic (e.g. tall, nice bum, etc.) it's more of an overall package. Things that indicate personality, sense of humour etc are more attractive.

The difference is more likely to be in what a woman does after the eying up bit, versus a man. A man is more likely to make a comment to his mates or even to the woman herself. A woman is more likely to think 'sexy bloke' but do absolutely nothing and probably forget about it two minutes later.

Exactly this. It’s very rare unless he is rich.

You're not being unreasonable and I've had a similiar conversation with my husband (20 years ago!) about why I had such an issue with him going to strip clubs (he has been and I don't control it but I did explain why it upset me).

My experience has been that he can be turned on / ready to go just by looking - he is visually stimulated.

For myself, I am not, I find touch, attention (dare I say it - conversation) etc far more arousing.

This is my experience and I believe there is a reason why there aren't equivalents to page 3 / strip clubs for women and why pornh*b has content for women that is much more 'story' based / rom novels etc exist.

I can absolutely appreciate a man's physique but I don't feel in the same 'immediate' way my husband can appreciate a women's.

All that being said - that doesn't mean you should stop him from looking (or you stop fantasizing!).

I can look at a man (or woman, I'm bisexual) and note that they're attractive, but I don't imagine sleeping with them or start lusting after them. It's more an acknowledgement that they're good looking. That said, I do have a few celebrity crushes (ahhh, Alan Rickman! 🤣) but if I'd found out they were raging Tories or racist or just a bit thick, I'd immediately go off them.

The only two times in my life I've been genuinely bowled over by someone's looks were meeting my DH (though I knew of him, and he was clutching a violin - swoon) and meeting my ex girlfriend (random meeting in a card shop!). But even then, it wasn't a case of "phwoar!", it was more a case of "oh wow, he/she is beautiful!", and I felt flustered and had butterflies in my stomach. I wasn't letching over them.

The real attraction kicked in after a conversation, though. I wouldn't have even considered wanting to sleep with either of them if they'd opened their mouths and sounded like they belonged in Love Island or something. Weirdly, when I have celebrity crushes they also tend to focus on the character they're playing in a film as opposed to the actual actor. Not always, but often.

Fictional characters I will happily swoon over all day long! But that's another ramble entirely and I've only had two coffees.

Gross.. how do you put up with that!

I definitely notice a good looking (to me) man. My type tends to be tall, lots of muscles, maybe some tattoos. I dont think anything specific just...I like the way they look. My husband knows my type so always clocks to see if I've noticed them and laughs at me

Social media, and the kind of porn typically viewed by women, would suggest that many, many women absolutely do look at men's bodies in exactly the same way that men look at women's bodies.

I definitely do, and I can tell from the kind of following that certain male models/influencers/celebrities have on social media that plenty of other women do as well.

There is also a big market for NSFW fan art featuring male characters from popular romance / fantasy books etc naked, often in very explicit poses/situations.

Some of the most popular porn videos watched by women are basically videos of hot men wanking, often without the man's face even being in view. Women are not watching those videos thinking 'Oh, he seems nice/funny/clever/charismatic'. They are watching them because they want to see a man with a great body touching his cock.

Personally, I think the notion that women don't/aren't supposed to lust after or objectify men is all part of a fundamentally puritanical and anti-feminist notion that women aren't sexual beings in the same way that men are. It's the same mindset that judges promiscuous women differently from promiscuous men.

That isn't to say that women aren't also attracted by qualities other than looks - of course they are. But so are men. There is a difference for both men and women between looking for a relationship and having your head turned by someone good-looking in the street.

Yes I saw that too! I think it’s why the example sprang to mind!

Slight derail but was dismayed to see Unilever have fired the CEO because he was anti-Trump and publicly. I think all BJ buyers should be aware!