(Most) Women don't look at men the same way men look at women?

As a generalization I think it's true to say women notice men that was less, or maybe differently, than men notice women.

There are some exceptions, though particularly among younger women, I think sometimes it's more chatter than the same kind of focus many men will have on nearby female bums.

I also think that bums specifically are a huge deal for many men, much more so than breasts even, and women tend to focus on other things as much or more in men. I've known a lot of women, for example, who are really attracted by men with beautiful/strong hands and forearms.

Why on earth do you bother mentally undressing men you wouldn’t even be attracted to?!

I’d rather rummage through my neighbour’s wheelie bin …

Yep, you definitely have a husband problem! Unless there was a secret vote that made him a spokeswoman for all women, then I’ll get back in my box and put the blinkers on so I’m not tempted to eye up another man again!

I basically size men up by their physical appearance too I'm afraid. Doesn't mean I'd ever act on it or that I'd ever voice it... but yeah I often mentally undress them and not even just the ones I'd be attracted to. You wouldn't think I would do that if you met me.
When you don't know someone the only way you can think of them is based on how they look.

I don't think noticing a good looking man shows a lack of respect for your partner.

Why would it? We don't go blind when we are in a relationship.

No, I don't think most women objectify men in the same manner men do women. I mean, he'd be forgiven for thinking that they do though, from petty things like diet coke brake adverts, the (male written) female characters in movies and books and the continual insistence that women are the same as men in general language, we lead with the idea that there is just a sliver of paper difference between the sexes.

I can't tell if this is light hearted on your side or a genuine bugbear in your relationship, but to be totally honest the "men are just hard-wired to do that" is the kind of thought I used to have when I had very low expectations of men. I don't think it's a useful/helpful thought, it's more of a way not to deal with something that you find upsetting by pretending it's inevitable and all men would do that so I can't get upset if mine does.

On average I imagine more men do this than women, but I would not say it's all men or a hard-wired thing and if it bothers you, that is legitimate.

With comments like that, tell your husband, the 1970's are calling, and they want him back! 😂

I am going to put my hand up and say, I am 100% objectifying men. So do many of my female friends. The difference is that we openly talk about it whereas many women won't. I'm not sure why... I guess it doesn't bode well to admit you do something that you criticize men for doing.

I don’t even notice men.

They don’t interest me.

I think women do, but personally I think it's a involuntary split second judgement and is probably hardwired in to identify potential mates which is then shelved unless required.

I, 53yo F, definitely do look at men’s bums. I really appreciate a man with a great arse. I also love a good thirst trap on Instagram.

I know quite a few men who would like to think women were thinking “ ‘cor look at the arse on that.” I don’t think that.

I might subconsciously notice broad shoulders but it’s more because makes me think of “metaphorical” broad shoulders - ie; is linked to a character trait. I couldn’t give two hoots about a man’s bottom and I find it vaguely offputting when I sense a man is very aware of his derrière.

I agree. Also don’t really understand how a middle aged man can feel attracted to a woman in their early twenties.

I’m 47 and find men around my age attractive. A 25 year old just leaves me cold.

Im not saying you can’t see and appreciate beauty - it’s the actual ‘phwoar’ that is absent for me (and I’d wager most women) and present for men.

Women are different around women. For years I worked in an all male environment so I hadn't noticed. Then I went to work in a primary school where the staff was all female. When we had male visitors I was astonished at all the twittering and eyelash fluttering. I thought that only happened in cartoons! Even the postman got the benefit!

women’s brains are hard-wired to look for a good mate to produce healthy off- spring

I don't believe men's and women's brains are "hard-wired" to do anything. Speaking as a child-free woman who has never felt "hard-wired" to have anything to do with offspring.

I don't think there's a blanket rule at all. Some people have a higher sex drive than others and some people are more visual than others, and that applies to men and women. On top of that, whether you check an attractive person out is very situational.

For example, if I'm sitting outside at a cafe with my shades on in the middle of the day doing nothing in particular, and an attractive man in sports gear runs down the pavement, I will almost certainly notice and discreetly appreciate him. I feel safe, relaxed and nothing else is holding my attention.

But if I'm in a club at 2am (and not looking to pull), I'll be much more careful about noticing attractive men because I don't want extra attention. And if I'm on a night bus I certainly won't be eyeing anyone up because safety is important.

Similarly I've been to gay bars with gay friends and they certainly don't hide it if they're attracted to other men there. In a non-gay pub they would be more mindful of their safety and be more discreet.

I notice attractive men in the same way as I notice other things of beauty, a special car, garden, painting, but I'm very rarely thinking I'd like to give him one. I do think a good rear in a pair of well fitting jeans is a thing of beauty, but again it's pleasant to look at rather than arousing, in most situations.

Are all men really like that all the time? Most I know hide it well if they are.

It's true. I reckon I probably find about 1 in 100 men attractive. And even then only in an abstract way.

There have only been two men in my life I've been insanely attracted to - dh and one other guy. Even the other men I went out with/shagged I could take them or leave them 😂

My husband definitely looks at bums.

i look at men that hold doors open for people and think oooh he’s good looking and kind/ well mannered/ considerate. That’s the turn on for me.

sadly my husband isn’t a well mannered one

There’s not that many hot men… How does he think all the average / awkward-looking / ugly men get laid? It’s more than physical.

I admire men’s bodies, but am capable of doing it without slavering, wolf-whistling, shouting ‘I’d ho through you like a pound of butter’ from scaffolding, audibly giving them marks out of ten, or having my eyes go out on cartoon springs.

So what I might be thinking about a random man’s body will remain where it should remain, inside my head.

(And an objectively conventionally-unattractive man will become suddenly devastating in my eyes if clever, articulate, knowledgeable, kind or otherwise interesting…)

Wanted to add that it makes sense that women are more discerning as we are lumbered with a 9 month pregnancy and the baby so want to choose a good mate - it's not just physical (though it sometimes is!)

In nature men would impregnate and then fuck off - it's all about spreading the seed for them sadly.

We used to have a really hot guy come into the office amd all the women went crazy. I don't really think men and women are that different, maybe it's just that there really aren't enough hot men to ogle 😆

I very, very rarely look at a man and think "phwoar". I'd probably have to be ovulating and he would have to be a very very fine specimen.

Most men will shag/lust after anything in a skirt 🤷‍♀️ it dies down when they hit their 50's I've found although I still sometimes catch dh looking at 20 yo's and it does make me feel slightly nauseous.