(Most) Women don't look at men the same way men look at women?

This gave me a genuine LOL moment. I had the same reaction - keep your clothes on please men!

Rubbish. Men do not seek perfection - most of them will shag anything in a skirt.
And yes it's a generalisation but it's a true one!

What was probably the case with those men in the bar is that they are misogynistic dickheads with low self esteem trying to convince one another that they'd be in with even a whiff of a chance with the women in the music videos by putting them down. You see it on SM all the time, fat, ugly incel types in the comments slagging off gorgeous women to try and bring them down a peg or two. Basically just sad bastards with small penises.

Ive never heard my dh of 20 years speak negatively of a woman's appearance and neither do my ds's/my df etc.

Absent fathers must be why so many women chose not to have male partners then...(re: Freud)

Venus and Mars.

According to Sigmund Freud both sexes are attracted to the traits of our opposite sex parent and that’s what we look for in a partner and so therefore are attracted to. Does your husband look like your father? Do you look like your MiL?

Well OP appears to know how all men think so it’s no different.

I don't 'mentally undress' men though, even attractive ones. Ewwwww!

I voted YANBU but, got to admit, my first thought on seeing the guy who came to fix our boiler yesterday was, fucking hell, his arms!

So yeah, I thought your husband sounded like a sexist dick at first and then remembered I'm a massive hypocrite 😂

This is the kind of debate that would become a proper argument for me - man mansplaining what ‘most women think’, as if he’d have a better idea than you (not envy)!

Female sexuality is generally speaking very different to that of men, not about men as sexual objects in the way many men see women. Women are also more likely to get turned on by touch, actions etc, and THEN become more ‘phwoar’ in the way he describes. But without these can feel nothing in the face of an attractive body part. Obviously variables but this is more the norm imo.

Yes attraction is a funny thing when it comes along!

I think you are definitely an outlier 😂

😂 I always thought a luxuriant head of hair was one of the things I found attractive - never fancied a baldie. And then boom....I met a baldie who knocked me sideways - the most intense attraction I'd ever felt (this was not dh btw) 😬

It would put me off my lunch ! 🤣

The idea it is "hardwired" into men is a misnomer. You can talk about evolutionary psychology for days but in reality we've had behaviour change in other areas that shows as a society patriarchal values allow this thinking to persist, not evolution.

A large amount of men quite have simply have lost empathy. They chose to spend time fighting wars on games, killing in real wars, doing solo activities rather than building friendships, going on MN and angering women for fun, they don't read so never put themselves in others shoes. They are angry and lonely as a result and the internet tells them to be angry at women. Women become objects for their pleasure, increasing happy hormones for a brief period of time until the woman moves on, which angers them again. Rather than looking long term at why they don't attract women (empathy and looking at the bigger picture of life) they get angry again and begin the surface level drama of finding one for a quick shag all over again.

That is why so many men look at women like objects, where women don't. It's a pattern of behaviour condoned by society and supported by the internet, not evolution.

That tallies with my experience too.

Men seek perfection whereas women notice nice attributes.

Apparently, I’m wrong, I don’t know how women think and a lot of women think about men the same way men think about women

I'd not bother expecting a civilised debate from someone with this attitude. Love it when men think they know what women think better than they do themselves. Not.

Totally, most men don't make much effort

I also quite like large hands and a strong jaw, or nice eyes or a luxuriant head of hair. So it’s physical, but less overtly sexual.

Since meeting my husband I don’t look at other men at all tbh. The only one I complimented recently was Alan Ritchson for making Henry Cavill look insignificant next to him, not an easy thing to do.

I am only interested in masculinity really so I find a lot of the traditionally good looking guys to be more feminine generally. I wouldn’t be looking solely at a bum or a smile, it would be a package for me.

There are several women on this very thread who say they objectify men physically, including me. If you don't, that's great, but please don't generalise for all of us.

YANBU

I think this plays a part in why men hate women so much, they assume women think like them so a womans actions look like deliberate moves to manipulate and "win" or when a woman goes off sex with him she's playing games and " withholding " to punish him, they don't understand or appreciate the pov of a woman.

Men compete and women collaborate in relationships.

No, I don't sit there and try to be intelligent about attraction. It's a physical thing and humans are visual creatures. I can appreciate intelligence, kindness, and humour in a man but I can't guess at all those things if he's just in the same vicinity as me and I've not met him.

If I see an attractive man of any age I do think cor he's got a lovely whatever I've spotted. My friends and women colleagues throughout my adult life have been similar and I've worked with and for people from all walks of life bar royalty so it's not a class thing.

There is nothing wrong with appreciating someone physically, it's just how or if it is expressed in public that makes it weird or not.

I agree it’s different. Not to say women don’t, but I think they notice different physical attributes - so more deep voice, broad shoulders rather than boobs and bum ( or penis and butt). I have seldom found myself gazing at a man’s crotch.

When I worked in a bar in my youth I got to hear how men talked about women as there was a TV next to the bar and it was always set to music videos. Most if not all of the men just criticised the woman for not being perfect, I rarely heard a compliment from any of these unattractive men about these stunning singer/models that they definitely wouldn’t say no despite having no chance.
It’s like no woman is actually good enough for them in their eyes.

Honestly I don't know!!! I just do it! I always have