To think that men who evade paying for their children are a burden on society?

I don’t know if still in place under the new child support service but the CSA did used to have the powers to take non paying parents to court to remove/suspend driving licenses or to impose fines and prison sentences etc, however I don’t think these powers were much used if at all. What is the point in having them if they not enforced???!!

Neither men or women need to be raped to be trapped. Though I recognise in some countries tampering with birth control is considered rape I.e stealthing. Tampering with her birth control pills etc etc Far more consequences for the woman though and less societally acceptable to walk away.

And even if the RP (mother usually) is a millionaire the NRP should contribute because they are the other parent! It takes two.

I don't think I can make it any more simple:

IF THE CHILD HAS A ROOF, FOOD & CLOTHES THE RP HAS ALREADY PAID OUT FOR THESE.

The contribution from the NRP is a reimbursement for these already incurred costs.

As I already said, if the child doesn't have access to these necessities, then the NRP should take custody of the child themselves and seek CMS themselves.

Do you know how money and buying things works?

You use money to purchase things like clothes and food.

You should get money for your child by claiming CMS which, hopefully, should be deposited in your bank account.

You then use the money from your account to buy clothes for your child, and food for your child, and pay for clubs or childcare or activities for your child or any one of the million other expenses that come alongside having a child.

Therefore the CMS money is being spent on the child assuming the child is living a comfortable life with all the essentials.

No, it isn't.

If the child is fed, clean, clothed and in a warm house the it's safe to say the money is being spent on the child.

Unless the child is horribly neglected the money is being spent for their benefit. Do absent fathers understand the real costs of raising a child? Providing a warm home, clothes, school equipment, food, shoes - just for a start? Maybe childcare so the mum can work? Of course they must realise that costs but they choose not to recognise it. If a man is truly reckless he need only pay £7 a week towards his child. Try feeding and clothing a kid for that.

Yes, but there is no guarantee that the money is being spent for the child's benefit.

If the kids are at full time school, the parent would be required to work or face heavy benefit sanctions/caps.

The money is being spent on keeping the child alive, fed, warm, clothed. If there is a genuine case of a parent receiving child support while their child lives naked on a park bench, foraging for berries - then a discussion about whether payment is being spent well can ensue (after the child is removed by social services obviously).

But in every other case, child support is a reimbursement for costs already incurred by the resident parent for keeping their shared offspring alive and well.

How are men trapped? Are they raped?

This is the elephant on the thread but expect to get a lot of challenge to this. It’s not acceptable on here to raise this

Personally I’d like to see the mothers who withhold their kids in order to get more cm suffer the consequences of those actions. Not to mention the mothers who alienate their kids from the father as an act of revenge.

Also the mothers who prefer to sponge off the fathers of their kids and the taxpayer rather than get an actual job, even when the kids are at school full time.

There was a thread on here recently from a mum who had 50/50 yet was trying to get maintenance from her ex on the basis he earned more. She got her arse handed to her and rightly so.

The problems are on both sides.

Men also baby trap women not only putting her health at risk but adding in an extra burden of care. Neither is right of course but this often not mentioned in these threads.

But women are allowed to opt out of motherhood, but men are forced to take responsibility even if they don't want a child.

Is that fair?

So many male apologists here but women are doing their bit. The birthrate is plummeting :). Sure there are feckless women but mostly they take care of the children. Both parents need to care for and provide financially for the kids, if one is doing all the care then another needs to do all the financials. Ideally they’d be a split.

Depends on the circumstances, quite a lot of women encourage an absolutely toxic dynamic between Father and child. They will deliberately obstruct, frustrate and deny contact.

You could argue that a "good" Father would still make sure their child was looked after financially, but if they never see the child, have no idea what the money is being spent on, then perhaps it's not so binary.

You do realise that Mothers could also give full custody to their child's Father, and then the Mother could go to work and pay Child Support.

Why don't you advocate for that?

Those pesky women taking time off work to laze around with their kids, eh!

The fact is having kids is expensive. It’s a very adult choice to have them. If you can’t afford them don’t have sex or at least wear a condom. What’s wrong with condoms.

If as a 19-year-old male you are too much of a child to take responsibility you are too young to have sex.

Women do work and raise kids but some time is needed for looking after then and that’s usually where some sort of career compromise is needed the father steps in and makes a contribution. There are TWO parents. At the very least a contribution to childcare costs is needed.

Very few women walk away from their kids and don’t support them. Of course there are horrible cases of criminal neglect which are heartbreaking. But many men simply abandon their kids knowing the mum will look after them.

Spoken as a woman with a decent career and academic qualifications, who was married for a long time and waited to have a family and then was eventually left to raise the kids alone.

We aren't going to resolve this without a legislative change. Not paying child support should be treated as gross neglect and a prosecutable offence. It should also be the FIRST deduction from after tax income - ie it is calculated before the father makes any other payment (if he choses to spend his money on a car or a pension or on moving in with a new woman with children or deciding to have more kids - it is irrelevant for these purposes the commitment to the kids he has already procreated comes first). The idea a man can spend £800 a month on his flashy company car and £200 on his child support disgusts me. There should be a simple system to enable RPs to go to the small claims court to recover arrears by direct court order and a mandatory attachment of earnings . Be amazing to see these dead beat dads stump up when the bailiff is trying to take their flashy stuff.

In my utopia any deadbeat dad would have to wear a placard around his neck at all times the pronounces he cba to provide financial support for his DC - might not look quite so cool in his sports car then....

Did this poor 19 year old use a condom?

"Before anyone comes at me and tells me my point is irrelevant because men are perfectly capable of saying no to sex, and therefore can't be 'entrapped' - go do one" 👍 great point.

We've already had the "But it's not just men..." several times on the thread and its honestly getting boring now.

This is an issue overwhelmingly affecting women, yet it seems women are unable to discuss it without all MRAs getting involved to derail the thread about how awful women are, and how the poor menfolk just can't help but have sex with these evil sirens who are just after their sperm and a lifetime of trying to get the bare minimum from them.

I think both parents should pay. Women need to start being more proactive in their own choices about their careers and finances when it comes to deciding to have a child. Maybe we should all be making better choices about who we lay down with.

There needs to be a birth control for men other than condoms.

It’s a criminal offence where I live for a man to limit a woman’s reproductive rights - I feel it should be both ways.

Men have reproductive rights too. I have two men in my life who have had women entrap them with pregnancies.

One Lad is only 19 years old.

Before anyone comes at me saying that people shouldn’t have sex if they don’t want a pregnancy - go do one….

And if you think women don’t try and entrap men with pregnancies - you’re wrong….

Blaming men when they don’t control women’s reproductive health isn’t helpful.

Sure there are deadbeat dads. There are deadbeat moms too.

Aren't you embarrassed at the way you're tying yourself in knots trying to blame women for something, and you don't even care what at this point.

Men also have a say in whether or not they have children. They have the ability to say no to sex. That's literally all they have to do and then there won't even be the possibility of a baby.