I'm mid-40s, divorced 6 years with three primary age school children. Not been in a relationship, not dated since leaving husband (history of psych\ and emotional abuse). Work part-time and kids with their father alternate weekends. I have felt lonely at times and yearned for physical intimacy though frankly I also largely enjoy my space and am protective of my family and myself, and I just don't meet men in my work and hardly socialise.
I joined a gym a year ago and have enjoyed an exercise class led by a young, stunning man (the class is fun and the eye candy was a bonus!). This man looks like he's in his early-mid thirties max, is not from the UK and seems isolated here socially. He invited me for lunch and honestly I didn't read too much into it he'd asked me when chatting after class about my 'fitness goals' (I don't have any) so I imagined he wanted to talk fitness and food. A bit naive but honestly, whilst I am not unattractive and do look younger than my age, I haven't looked after myself much and don't make an effort to the gym (think 10 year old leggings and bra etc). I went to lunch straight after the class without make-up, unwashed I had two hours but I worked on my laptop, whilst he showered and turned up looking slick!
Ugh! Struggling to get to the point!
Over lunch, he seemed visibly nervous, shared a lot about his personal life and past relationships (fathered 4 children from 2 mothers, all overseas) and married out of convenience to get his visa to this country the relationship he says is over and they sleep in separate rooms etc he says he's attracted to me and recalled the first time we spoke, things I did in\ out of class and got very excited when I said I thought he was very attractive too. I've said I'm not interested in a relationship-- honestly he isn't someone I see myself with in any serious way though it would be fun to mess around and maybe finally have sex with a gorgeous, sweet and safe man. But but but I will check if his wife sees the relationship as over and is aware of his intention to be with other people (he was v honest and bit too open in sharing so I feel he would be honest) and I've said that I'm not interested in anything serious though am I unreasonable to be excited about this man?
He messaged straight after our lunch, and a few more times today and says things like 'I miss you' and that frankly have put me off--is this love bombing? He guessed my age as late twenties (generally guessed more like 30s but I put that down to him being younger). I do wonder if he thinks I have money or can help him support his kids abroad. He said he'd like to meet my kids and I was direct in saying no as I don't think that's appropriate, though can't tell if he's naive, a bit dim or a potential perp in disguise.
Otherwise, he is pretty much happen book. Works all hours, is serious and enthusiastic about all things health and fitness (we both like cooking and eating so that's been a mutual topic of interest at the gym). Logistically I don't know when we would find time to meet and where --i have an elderly tenant who is home a lot and he has his wife. He has a wife. That in itself is off putting enough.
Am I getting myself into hot water?
No kids with his wife.
I'm unreasonable: nip this fantasy in the bud before it gets messy or\ and dangerous
I'm reasonable: have fun with this man. Needn't be serious and you deserve a bit of hot sex. It's been too too too long.