To not pay for an unwanted child?

It takes two to tango and both parents (even if the male considers he is merely an unwitting sperm donor) share responsibility for supporting an innocent baby who did not ask to be born.
If men want to opt out of this possibility, they can take action in the same way as a woman. It's called contraception.

The law is clear on this - both parents are liable for the financial support of their biological children, and even if the father has no interest in a relationship with the mother or child, never wanted the child, didn't know about the pregnancy, even if conception was the result of contraception failure etc., he is liable for child support. Enforcement may be another matter - the father could deny paternity, refuse to co-operate in DNA testing to establish it (though a judge would be entitled to draw inferences from that) and then fail to cough up what the court decides he owes. He is breaking the law in that case, though the law isn't particularly good at pursuing and remedying breaches of that kind in good time; however, it is likely to catch up with him in the end.

Not all babies are matched and raised for by nice loving families.....

In both situations a parent decides they aren't able to /interested in raising a child and so relinquish the rights and responsibilities of parenting.

If the man took precautions, the chance of a pregnancy resulting is tiny. Reduce the chances further to account for the women who wouldn't go ahead with an unplanned pregnancy, and the number of men impacted would be so few I'm not sure it warrants a discussion on whether the law should be changed. However, for what it's worth, yes, the man is still responsible. He pays for his child. The fact he didn't want the child is irrelevant it's still a person he created by his actions.

No different? How is it remotely similar? A baby matched with an approved adoptive couple will be provided for and is planned within that family. Leaving a woman to give birth and raise a child while she is supporting them both is a totally different scenario. Ethically and practically, it's so different.

So any man who didn’t want pay for their child could just do the same as give them up for adoption 🧐

Why would I tell you to eff off?

I’m not saying there aren’t women who will try to get pregnant on purpose when the man doesn’t want to. But the men in those circumstances you describe weren’t without agency. They could’ve avoided those pregnancies if they’d worn a condom but they were happy to risk it.

I'm sure they exist, just like I've heard stories of men lying about vasectomies/being infertile due to cancer treatment so no condom needed.

Both are totally and completely wrong - but, and particularly with a one night stand, a. why would you take their word for it and b. there are reasons other than the risk of pregnancy to use a condom.

I can see that my wording made it sound like it was really life threatening. Sorry. The WHO halted the trial for safety reasons due to the number of adverse side effects. Side affects seemed, from what I read, to be more severe than current side effects for the female pill, but not outrageously so, and not worse than the effects of the pill when it was first available.

I think it sums up my argument, tbh. Doctors seemed to think that because men aren’t actually left pregnant, the risks to them aren’t enough to justify anything adverse for them. And men seem to agree.

So this argument that they should be able to walk away from a pregnancy, when they aren’t prepared to put the same effort into avoiding it as women do, holds no water for me. It just puts even more of the risks of sex onto women.

I accidentally voted yabu but you definitely are not! So many men forget they have the power to stop themselves from being fathers, if they want to!

Both parents are responsible and should pay.
If you don’t want to risk unwanted pregnancy with a one night stand, then stop having sex with strangers.

It bears repeating

any man who doesn’t want kids yet doesn’t use a condom is a fool and can only blame himself.

Hoping you read my original post of friend seeking to get pregnant by man with significant financial resources. Told him on pill when she wasn’t because she wanted baby with him (she didn’t do this with previous boyfriends who were not financially successful). She told us, I’ll get pregnant if we marry I’m set for life, if he doesn’t then I’m still set. They did not marry, she & baby got a city flat, private school, generous support so she did not work. He has moved on to other relationships, no other children that we know about.

And the other who thought her clock was running out and schemed potential to get pregnant at a professional conference. She researched participants SM, linked in for those who were intelligent (good uni), sporty and single and lived in another country. She got pregnant and never told him. She just wanted a free donor. She told him don’t worry I’m on the Pill when she knew 100% she was in ovulation phase.

Tell me to eff-off if you want, but these ladies exist.

You’re voting is confusing OP, because the title of your first post doesn’t match its content.
So do I vote YABU to match the title or YANBU to match what you say under it? 🤔

getting pregnant without men’s explicit consent

Getting pregnant is not something you can just choose to do, it’s not an act, it’s a biological process. Having sex without contraception IS a choice, and any man who doesn’t want kids yet doesn’t use a condom is a fool and can only blame himself.

What about 2 women getting pregnant lying about birth control & without men’s explicit consent triggers you and prompted that explosive response?

There was no advocacy language, it’s just a share of my life experience. Both women were/are in my friend group.

I find it staggering the number of posters who seem to support the idea of women having an abortion against their will.

Before conception, of course both parties have an equal responsibility for contraception. After conception there is no equality, there CAN’T be, because at that point we are talking exclusively about women’s bodies.

I hope that some of these posters are MRAs who have been summoned to the thread. But otherwise it’s pretty worrying to see the level of misogyny dressing itself up as equality.

Thank fuck you are here advocating for the men.

What about sex work?

So many people have fallen back on the “contraception fails” argument but, when used reliably and consistently, we all know it’s highly effective. Whilst sex workers may get pregnant more often than other women, they clearly don’t have a pregnancy a month.

its implicit that a man who pays a sex worker doesn’t want a child with her. However she is still entitled to child support from him.

as a wise poster said some pages back- the only way a man suffers from an unwanted child is financially. Minimum child support is pitiful. Women sacrifice more every single time

The man should consider a one night stand with his hand or a sex doll, rather than a live human woman, if he’s that ignorant of the mechanics and dynamics of reproductive biology.

And I don’t really know what you are arguing then. You understand abortion is a very personal choice to make and women don’t do it on a whim. You understand it will be right for some and not for others. Where is all this ‘forcing pregnancies’ coming into it then?

Yet nobody here is saying that the woman has to have the baby. Not one person. They are saying that the woman alone gets the choice on whether to continue or terminate the pregnancy and the man has to accept that his choice in this was at the conception stage. It’s just biology.

The risk of having sex is an unwanted pregnancy. We do things to mitigate it, but it’s still a possibility. If that happens, and the woman chooses to continue with the pregnancy both parents have a responsibility to ensure the child is fed, clothed and has a home. No amount of pleading stops that man having fathered a child.

Also I hate that perpetuated notion that women trot down to abortion clinics or chemists for morning after pills etc on a regular basis because they can't be bothered to use contraception! It's simply not true!