To not pay for an unwanted child?

He literally does though, which is why it's (thankfully!) enshrined in law.

An unborn child can't choose not to be born, can it? As in "I know you didn't want me to be born dad. I decided to be anyway, against your wishes, but in doing so I waive my right to any child maintenance". The man may not have any responsibility towards the woman, but he does have towards the child. Wild that it even has to be explained 😶

I really don’t think anyone should force men to be a father, as much as I believe women shouldn’t be forced to be a mother - women are rightly able to choose whether to abort or not. Imagine saying to a woman “you chose to have sex so no abortion for you”.

There are also women who try to trap men into becoming fathers for various reasons. Some lie that they’re on contraception, some may say they can’t conceive.

I think men should be told as early as possible and then they can contractually sign a document to say what their choice is - it’s then down to the woman whether she goes ahead on her own or not.

One: it has nothing to do with frogmarching anyone anywhere. It’s two people each making the decision that best suits them.

Two: he has no responsibility towards the child or the woman if he has been clear that he doesn’t want the child brought into existence.

He had the chance to opt out but chose not to when he chose to jizz where he did. He made a choice to opt in at that point.

I clicked on YABU assuming YABU might be 99.9 % with the odd very hard of thinking 0.1% voting YANBU.

Don't want to run the risk of making a baby? Get a vasectomy or don't have sex

Hopefully you teach them ons are wrong

I put this exact question to teen DCs (one boy, one girl) a few months ago. Both were amazed that the man in a ONS is liable for child support. It made for an interesting discussion. I would recommend it as a topic of discussion over dinner - I’m a feminist and raise my DCs in accordance with my values, but sometimes things can get missed. It certainly was an eye opener for them.

Nailed it.

The "debate" over whether a man should have to pay or not, always baffles me.

Yes I think a man should have the right to give up all parental rights.

A man causing a pregnancy, unless he has had a vasectomy, should have no say in what happens afterwards. Maybe there ought to be some sort of insurance after vasectomy so that he is not financially liable if it fails?
Given that sex was consensual both parties are liable, but it is the woman who risks health and even her life during gestation. Therefore the man should support her or financially recompense at this point (loss of earnings, etc.) or pay for any costs involved in an abortion. These days it is easy to prove fatherhood.
Afterwards the cost of raising the child should be born by both parents, via PAYE or docking benefits or some other means.

???

The question is quite clear:

"my personal answer is no, he cannot or shouldn’t be able to opt out once the child is born"

NB: I was wondering what % of those who consider it acceptable for men to abnegate responsibility are men.

@Anudawan found a non-Twitter version by the author “Men are Responsible for 100% of Unwanted Pregnancies”

(happens to come from an abortion-averse stance) but the points made re consequences/accountability around pregnancy are still valid… and very witty!

https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/abortion-pregnancy-pro-life_uk_5ba20e08e4b046313fc0bda5

Don't get your dick wet

100% agree and then he’s stuck paying child maintenance for the next 18 years.
But I guess some men don’t help themselves and some shag anything with a pulse so probably have multiple kids everywhere.

No, they can't opt out. Wear a condom correctly and take the male pill - double up contraception, that's what many women do if they don't want to risk it. Do they even still make the male pill? Vasectomy if they're sure they never want (more) kids.

For those on Twitter/X - the best thread ever on “Why Men are 100% Responsible for Unwanted Pregnancies”.

Anticipating and expertly demolishing every “Yeah, but what if blah blah blah…” comment. Enjoy!

x.com/designmom/status/1040363431893725184?s=61

The irony for us being that it was after having the kids that our sex life ground to a halt!

Damned if you do, damned if you don't..... 😂

I'm childfree and female. I'm so glad the choice is in my hands. I was sterilised at 25 but it was a battle to get.

I think in this day and age the choice should fall to the woman who made the final decision. I do think some accommodation should be made eg if married it's basically a contract and if you want to have a kid outside of marriage then a separate legal thing could be made. I certainly wouldn't want to spend any money let alone 18 years plus for what is effectively one night of often drunken passion on somebody else's choice. Abstinence is an option but let's face it, it's a human desire for sex (not kids) and there's no way when half baked you can commit to making a decision that will cost you potentially thousands of pounds for the best part of your life.

Imo it's out dated and if you're religious or have strong beliefs about abortion you should not be willing to get pregnant knowing you will have to raise a child alone.

Of course in talking about accidental pregnancy here or failed contraception etc I'm not talking for men who just can't be arsed to think about it/have no care for consequences in general or for men who agree to a family then back out.

It's such an out dated idea and everybody saying 'how would you regulate it etc' well child maintenance agency are pretty much useless and constantly cock up. Nobody cares when somebody is docked/over paying etc and is owed money back that is 'spent'. There's no recourse.

The entire thing needs an overhaul. We don't live in a world where women are forced to carry children they don't want or can't afford to take care of. That world has ended.

You would never be able to enforce it otherwise. Every father that doesn’t want to pay would claim that it was an accident. The money is for the child not the parent and I wouldn’t support anything that led to more children living in poverty.

The bloke's choice happens when he puts his dick in the vicinity of a woman's fanny. Once his sperm leaves his body there's a chance he'll be contributing to creating a new life and yes he'll have to share responsibility, including financial responsibility, if that chance happens.

Don't want the risk, keep your dick stowed.

If this was an option for men,it would probably result in ALL men saying the child was unwanted by him in order to avoid paying maintenance.

There was a post on Reddit. He persuaded ex to go through with the pregnancy she wanted and abortion. But he told her he would raise the child himself. She wanted no part bringing him up. She pays maintenance but that’s it. At the time he posted his son was a toddler and he’s now saying he wants her involved bringing their child up.🙄

Yes, historically, it's ALWAYS been the woman's fault. They've beein the ones shamed and shunned with men just absolved of any responsibility. Why wouldn't you want to keep the 'poor menz' narrative going 🙄

There are very few real 'accidents' when contraception is used correctly. A man who does not want to have a child should be protecting himself.
I mean, the grown woman on MN who 'suddenly' find themselves pregnant to someone after 5 minutes or to the loser you know is alway going to be a loser...It's hard not to roll your eyes at the stupid men who don't protect themselves but equally, what woman has unprotected sex with someone they barely know. For their own health. Crazy and stooopid and sometimes calculated.
So no, if a man is stupid enough to have unprotected sex with someone they do not want a baby with, then they've made a conscious decision to roll the dice. The buck really does stop with them. They should not be an 'opt out' clause for supporting the human being they created who now needs financial support.
Stops being about the selfish humans, both of them, and becomes about the child.