To not pay for an unwanted child?

To be honest I think your right the person/people who choose to have the baby should pay for it the way they qualify for support as main carers

Yes. "Men know better, men can go without" but really the sort of men "accidentally" fathering kids are not the high functioning, well thought out, didn't have sex until adulthood/mature discussions on sex-contraception type are they...

I think forcing a woman to have an abortion is disgusting 100% but there should be a LEGAL way for men who can't/don't want/not able to care for a child to give up parental responsibility the way women have fostering/adoption

"Getting out paying child support" is also thrown around as an easy, cheap thing to do but unless your self employed/willing to risk years of debt/have a solid tax dodge on the go it's actually not as easy as it's made out to be.

He could've opted out. He chose to opt in. He chooses the minute he choose to jizz in her. He could've chosen not to.

But what that means is his contribution is only a top up to lift the children out of poverty.
He does not see it that he should be paying 50%. Well at least his view is out in the open and women can sleep with him at their peril.

What does "men getting away with enough already and having an entitled attitude" have to do with anything? It's no different to the misogynistic rubbish usually reserved for 4chan or Tait.

Most men are capable of taking responsibility. For using protection, for raising their children, for paying child maintenance and for sacrificing their lives to protect the vulnerable.

Not the right guy. Definitely not.
Have some fun post divorce sex? Yep, go for it!!
With this guy? No, run a mile!!

But they already know that there’s the possibility of a child if they have sex. That’s when they are effectively signing the contract. By choosing to have intercourse they are agreeing to take the risk of getting a woman pregnant. They really should teach this stuff in schools.

Again I dont disagree but doubt it, but if a survey was done how many men actually want children to women?

Women are told to immedialty leave and find someone else if their partner does not want children

What does this have to do with the thread? Precisely nothing. 🙄

Tell the hundreds of thousands of Ukrainian men who have died or suffered life-changing injuries defending their countries freedom about their "entitled attitude".

I do think more than 1% of couples will be responsible enough to consider the consequences and take appropriate action. When my DH had his vasectomy I accepted the very small risk it could fail and I'd end up pregnant. I do agree a lot of people wouldn't hold back from sex in this over-sexed society. A change in attitudes (and alternatives to intercourse as an end goal sexually) would be needed.

Someone has to pay. If it's not the man, it's the state and taxes would have to rise.

Yes, men get away with enough already and already have an entitled attitude. Plus they get paid more than women, still.

Both parents are equally responsible for the creation of a child - they were both there at conception.

I dont disagree but do you honestly think 99% of couples would do this?, how many women are desperate for a child on here alone?

People holding off sleeping with each other would be a great step forward and reduce the incidence of so many difficult situations. I know married couples who have abstained to avoid any risk of pregnancy. People need to think more carefully about the consequences of sex.

So if a man says "I will have date or have a relationship with you but I wont sleep with you" as I dont want to have a child how will they go down with the "I demand us to have a baby" partners?

Women complain constantly they cant get a partner, spend endless energy and effort trying to get one, do heaps of online dating, now they have to find one who wants a child immediatley with them? or they wont sleep with each other?

If you don’t want the risk of child maintenance bag it. That simple

Not actually that simple as the bag could well break. However, be that as it may, the choice to have sex also includes knowing that if the bag breaks then you still have to be held accountable for it.

This is what I have drummed into all my sons. With a side serving of ‘whole it won’t ruin your life per se, it definitely won’t be the same quality of life you would have had otherwise, limits opportunities’ blah blah. Basically, if I want to have sex with this woman, and am not exactly where I want to be in life in order to have children, and with that person, am I happy for my life to go to pot if this should happen. That’s what they need to ask themselves each and every time before deciding to have sex.

ETA, I’ve also given the talk on it doesn’t matter if she claims she is on contraception, is infertile, or is allergic to condoms. Basically if it’s not on, then it’s not on, and if it is on, it’s on the basis that they are happy for that to be their life if condom breaks or whatnot.

@Firefly1987 I reckon there are decent blokes aplenty who do want kids.

A reverse vasectomy would be The Sign of reaching ‘real manhood’… a bit like the first swim without armbands 😂

No because the woman could've opted out of the pregnancy. If she's continuing the pregnancy the odds are pretty high she actually wants the child...it's a bit different paying for something you wanted and chose to have vs something you didn't.

You actually see that a lot on mumsnet? Even when the OP's post isn't even about pregnancy choices!!

As well as direct posts questioning why a woman would continue with a pregnancy in the OP's situation, you also more indirectly see lot's of "you shouldn't have had a baby until you had x", "why did you have a child with this man", etc.

I find it interesting how in a situation where an unwanted or unplanned pregnancy occurs, lots of posters seem to be sympathetic to the man, but the woman in this situation is being ignored and treated as making an active choice, just because she doesn't get an abortion?

Abortion isn't contraception. There are many factors that influence whether a woman feels able or willing to get an abortion. Yet for some reason it's seen as her choosing pregnancy and him not, even though they both (hopefully) equally chose to have sex, knowing pregnancy is a risk.

Weird misogynistic attitude.

It’s the child who will suffer and they had no say in being born so no, the father should pay, they should have two parents supporting them

If I have a car accident where I hit a stationary vehicle and cause thousands of damage and it is a once off, I don’t want to interact with the other driver and they have a choice as whether they choose to get their car fixed.

Or adults are responsible for all their actions.

Society makes both parents responsible.

Sorry, I honestly have no idea what point you're trying to make with that comment.

Sure, but biology doesn't make the man have to pay for the child that is created, society does.

@DissidentDaughter well except for all the swathes of women that WANT children of course! But I'd totally get behind that idea. They could be offered cash incentives to get a vasectomy. Women who want kids are the ones who lose out if masses of men suddenly have vasectomies or a male pill is invented though. So as much as some women will say "get a vasectomy or don't have sex" they don't actually want all men to do that, because they want babies at the end of the day.