To not pay for an unwanted child?

My breezy attitude! That is so unpleasant! I'm always appalled by people's breezy attitude that people should go ahead with a completely unwanted pregnancy like a baby is a pet hamster and not the major life changing thing that it is! The breezy attitudes of those that think abortion is bad and that babies and mothers should suffer like hell instead! I mean what's a bit of severe post natal depression eh! So what if the kid ends up in care because the mother's mental health is shot because she was absolutely not wanting a pregnancy or a child!

Or how about the breezy attitudes that no matter how much a man pleads that he doesn't want to be a father he must be forced to pick up the tab if the woman decides that being a single mum would be fine and forever having a financial war with a bloke she barely knows. Never mind explaining that to the child! Never mind that being held to financial ransom might affect his affordability to start a family in later years and affect future relationships.

Her body. Her responsibility. Simple enough I would have thought.

No, you misunderstand. A woman can indeed have an abortion if she chooses, but you (and many others) are framing it like it’s contraception. It’s not. It’s healthcare.

Having an abortion is a very difficult choice for many, many women. I go from here and your breezy attitude to abortion over to Twitter to thousands of men calling women murderers and screaming they should be locked up for even thinking about the possibility of abortion. Then the individual’s stance and family’s stance on abortion. Fertility, emotional and psychological effects, the physical side effects.

I think it’s amazing that we can have the choice, but having an abortion is a very personal choice. You are acting like it’s no more difficult than choosing an ice cream flavour. For some women, sure, but for many it’s not something done lightly.

Look this thread is pointless because by the time a woman realises a one night stand has resulted in a pregnancy, the guy from the one night stand is a past memory from weeks before who will never know about the pregnancy anyway so it would be a female completely alone in the decision making and completely alone in raising and financing it and the chances are that most women in that situation won't go ahead with it!

What happens if it’s a result of a threesome with untraceable men?

I'm actually talking about Northern Ireland. While we were last under direct rule abortion was legalised here to move us in line with the rest of the UK, whereas before our local devolved government were blocking it, and now we are back to being devolved certain parties are making tremendous efforts to block it again.

I don't agree with those comments at all, but I've also noticed the majority of them came from men. Women make the choice to have sex knowing the risks, and knowing they will be the ones facing the consequences one way or another, with no choice to opt out. One way or the other, they face the consequences. I say again, men should not be able to opt out of those consequences. They can not simply I want you to have an abortion so therefore I have no responsibility here. Women cannot be forced into having an abortion in the same way they cannot be forced to continue a pregnancy. There a measures a man can take to protect himself should he not wish to have a child, but these all comes before the woman is pregnant, not opting out afterwards and leaving her to it one way or another.

Not a healthy attitude though because a wan can terminate a pregnancy! At the end of the day this thread would have people believe that woman are horrible, manipulative creatures that decide if a man is to be a father or not and that women love being knocked up by strangers!

Most women would also terminate a pregnancy after a one night stand!

No I'm puzzled by all the attitudes on here that once an accidental pregnancy happens, it's set in stone and has to go ahead! A woman isn't forced to go ahead with a pregnancy either but a lot of you talk like the woman has no choice but to go through with an accidental pregnancy and I don't get that! I don't get the attitude that if a child free couple ever accidentally have a pregnancy occur that they just don't want, people on here feel that the couple should be forced to have that child!

Pregnancies can be stopped is my point! Nobody has to surrender themselves to an unwanted pregnancy and so many on here talk like women are not allowed to choose!

I'll just leave this here again, because so few comments seem to have picked up on it.

Couples can have all the sex they like, women can have multiple orgasms, and have 100% certainty of no pregnancy resulting.

Lesbians do it all the time.

The ONE THING that causes pregnancy, ejaculation inside a vagina, is the ONE THING they need to not do.

And that one thing is not even the thing that causes a woman to have an orgasm!

So men have 100% control over whether or not they cause a pregnancy and whether or not they are on the hook for child support for 18 years.

And they can still have all the sex they want, every day, all day.

So I have zero sympathy for any man who says he was "tricked" into a pregnancy. Men need to take responsibility for where their sperm ends up. Very few do, most never have even a passing thought about pregnancy because it's not their body at risk.

But they take that risk because to ejaculate inside a vagina is slightly more pleasurable for them for those 30 seconds of orgasm, than ejaculating outside a vagina. For 30 seconds of slightly more pleasure they are willing to let the risk of pregnancy be borne by the woman.

except the male pill trial wasn't halted because it was too dangerous

it was halted because the men did not like the side effects

side effects akin to side effects of contraception that women use every day and accept as normal

very few men are willing to suffer even a small negative effect of any contraception as evidenced by so many who say they "don't like" condoms

What do you mean "what??". Did some woman get knocked up, NO.

Or if he refrained from jizzing without consent.

It’s a moot point though, because the woman is facing the consequences of having sex. She isn’t the one arguing she shouldn’t have to pay any money here for her own child, is she?

Her consequences to having sex are the same as the man’s - pregnancy and potential resulting child. She gets an additional choice on what to do with her body but if the baby comes into existence, she has the pay the same as the man (and will undoubtedly be paying significantly more than some paltry CMS payment).

I mean that they don’t get involved in helping women use contraception effectively. They don’t tend to offer to pick up pills or get in alternatives when their girlfriend has been sick or otherwise might not be ideally protected, or hassle the doctor to take out the coil when it’s not working (to be fair, most women wouldn’t want that!), or fill in charts etc. for the rhythm method. They don’t even ask if it’s what she’d like most of the time.

While I think there are men who would like the male pill would be as diligent about it as most women who take it are, just as there are men who will get vasectomies and men who are conscientious about checking with their partners and about using condoms, I don’t think there are many. There have been attempts to develop a male pill, but testing was halted as too dangerous. I heard a lot more disappointment from women than from men.

I hate deadbeat dads but do feel a bit sorry for the bloke in some instances. A good friend of my brother got used as an unwittingly sperm donor when his gf lied about being on the pill (and subsequently dumped him as soon as she became pregnant).

He believed her initially but the whole thing seemed suspicious as it later came out she'd been on the adoption list prior to meeting him. She then straight out asked him if he wanted to get her pregnant again as she wanted the same father for both kids. He said no but she then eventually managed to convince him she felt bad about how she'd treated him previously. They got back together and she dumped him again as soon as she was pregnant again. 😂

Guy should've seen this coming but he's just the kind of nice guy who gives people the benefit of the doubt far too much. He was even giving her money while she was on maternity leave despite her earning twice as much as him!

I do think public opinion would change if adoption was abolished or if the mother still had to retain financial responsibility for supporting her kids after giving them up.

Fair points. Bit unsure what you mean by "they tend not to be interested in doing any of the work involved in ensuring women’s contraceptive choices are supported." Could you elaborate a bit on that? I think a lot of men would welcome the option of having a male pill. As long as there's not serious side effects of course. Women have far more options when it comes to birth control so I don't think it's any great shock it usually gets left up to women. I haven't counted them but there's probably around what, TEN methods for women and only two for men (not including abstinence) neither of which are ideal. If there was a male pill that could make ALL the difference. As far as I'm concerned it can't get invented soon enough.

You are absolutely correct. If grown ass adults want to have sex they need to accept that a baby may result in it. This is why it should be between married couples only.

Of course they should. It always amazes me how men can be so irresponsible with their sperm. If I thought a one night stand could cost me a % of my income for the next 18 years I’d definitely be more careful!

OFC women can be irresponsible too, but they can choose to end a pregnancy - once a man has ejaculated he has zero say in what happens with that pregnancy (rightly!)

I also think not paying for your child should be treat with the same seriousness as tax evasion - and the absent parent should be forced to work to pay the full amount. None of this ‘fiver from his dole’ shite 🙄

I do see the argument that women have the option to abort and not be liable for the rest of their lives while men don’t have any action they can take after conception to change the course of events. Abortion is not an easy choice for most women, but it is an option and many women take advantage of it.

I might find that a somewhat convincing argument if there was any evidence that men took the risk of pregnancy even half as seriously as women do. But they don’t. Almost all of them tend to be happy to accept women taking responsibility for contraception rather than putting contraception first and insisting on condoms regardless. Many are happy to have unprotected sex if the choice is that or no sex. They tend not to be interested in doing any of the work involved in ensuring women’s contraceptive choices are supported. They rarely opt for the snip. And they aren’t clamouring for the male pill.

So given all that, I don’t think they should get to just opt out after the fact, leaving women with even more of the shit and giving them even less of the responsibility.

I'm very unclear as to why there's so many posts on this thread that seem to suggest women can autofertilize...

You seem to be completely missing the point that there wouldn't be a foetus in the first place if she just refrained from sex...

No, because while the fetus is inside her body, the woman gets to make all decisions. She loses the decision to not care for any baby produced once the baby is outside her body. At that point if she doesn’t want responsibility, she faces the same issue a man should face. She should need to pay up and care for the child unless a court designates a new parent.

What is silly is your ridiculous notion that any man old enough to have sex can just waive aside the consequences.