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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

It’s goodbye from me

439 replies

solongandthxforthefish · 19/03/2025 17:54

I’ve been on mumsnet since the early days, it’s seen my family grow up and become adults, seen me become a grandparent.

its been a happy place, a supportive place through thick and thin and I’ve made lots of contacts who I will miss.

the supportive threads are being lost amongst ones of hatred and intolerance for difference, for the others and by threads about high incomes not being enough, of how disabled people are increasingly hated, how children with SEND are an inconvenience. Boomers, of which I am not one, are hated.

is there anybody mumsnet members actually like?

im taking a break, however long is needed until the hatred is less.

OP posts:
verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 14:51

ilovesooty · 20/03/2025 14:51

Report it then if you're convinced she's breaking the guidelines. You have no grounds to say that.

We are allowed to find creepy postings creepy.

ilovesooty · 20/03/2025 14:51

ThejoyofNC · 20/03/2025 14:48

Are you begging for food/money donations? I can't think why else you're resorting to posting pictures of a measuring tape around your waist. You're not allowed to beg on MN, it's against talk guidelines.

Report it then if you're convinced she's breaking the guidelines. You have no grounds to say that.

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 14:50

ThePurpleBuffalo · 20/03/2025 14:49

I'm not in the least bit angry. I know what the facts are. I've absolutely got a stomach ulcer from taking medication on an empty stomach. It's very painful.

If you think I've done it to myself out of sheer idiocy or I'm making it up, you really don't have anywhere near enough information about me to support that hypothesis so I will simply disregard your opinion.

Oh, you seem pretty angry to me.

ThePurpleBuffalo · 20/03/2025 14:50

ThejoyofNC · 20/03/2025 14:48

Are you begging for food/money donations? I can't think why else you're resorting to posting pictures of a measuring tape around your waist. You're not allowed to beg on MN, it's against talk guidelines.

Not at all. I would encourage everyone not to offer money to complete strangers.

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 14:50

ThejoyofNC · 20/03/2025 14:48

Are you begging for food/money donations? I can't think why else you're resorting to posting pictures of a measuring tape around your waist. You're not allowed to beg on MN, it's against talk guidelines.

It definitely gives that impression and it’s just all round creepy to post a waist picture with a measuring tape on, regardless. It’s poverty porn whatever the underlying intention.

Im on disability benefits too, and I wouldn’t judge anyone else for being. But we have to rise above any urge to do this kind of thing.

ThePurpleBuffalo · 20/03/2025 14:49

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 14:46

What she’s describing is impossible and she’s angry that she was challenged about it. The only pain meds that tear up your stomach to that extent are NSAIDs and you don’t need to eat a huge volume to protect against that effect. It’s basic fact.

I'm not in the least bit angry. I know what the facts are. I've absolutely got a stomach ulcer from taking medication on an empty stomach. It's very painful.

If you think I've done it to myself out of sheer idiocy or I'm making it up, you really don't have anywhere near enough information about me to support that hypothesis so I will simply disregard your opinion.

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 14:48

@ThePurpleBuffalo No one has blamed others for being in poverty. This is why I am saying you’re part of the toxicity. Lying about what other people are saying is certainly toxic, and you’ve done that multiple times now.

ThejoyofNC · 20/03/2025 14:48

ThePurpleBuffalo · 20/03/2025 14:42

I'm not surprised at all by this reaction. That's why I wanted to post my support of the OP - because MN can be horribly toxic, particularly towards the disabled of late.

Are you begging for food/money donations? I can't think why else you're resorting to posting pictures of a measuring tape around your waist. You're not allowed to beg on MN, it's against talk guidelines.

ThePurpleBuffalo · 20/03/2025 14:47

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 14:44

You are part of the toxicity.

If you like. I don't think so though.

I'm certainly not the one blaming others for being in poverty.

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 14:46

ilovesooty · 20/03/2025 13:41

I think @ThePurpleBuffalo would be ill advised to give more detail in response to the questions she's been treated to here.

What she’s describing is impossible and she’s angry that she was challenged about it. The only pain meds that tear up your stomach to that extent are NSAIDs and you don’t need to eat a huge volume to protect against that effect. It’s basic fact.

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 14:44

ThePurpleBuffalo · 20/03/2025 14:42

I'm not surprised at all by this reaction. That's why I wanted to post my support of the OP - because MN can be horribly toxic, particularly towards the disabled of late.

You are part of the toxicity.

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 14:43

ThePurpleBuffalo · 20/03/2025 13:42

You might think I'm as thick as elephantiasis, but I'm nowhere near thick enough to expect sympathy from random MNers.

If you want to believe I'm making this up or I designed this situation for myself out of pure ridiculous, pointless stupidity, go ahead. It makes no difference to me what you choose to believe.

Keep twisting my words. Great job Hmm

ThePurpleBuffalo · 20/03/2025 14:43

TooBigForMyBoots · 20/03/2025 14:26

Ah right. If you can't solve a stranger's problem over the internet it's their fault?

Can you hear yourself?

Edited

That about sums it up!

ThePurpleBuffalo · 20/03/2025 14:42

ThejoyofNC · 20/03/2025 14:36

I disagree. If you put yourself out there for people to comment on then you can't act surprised when there are differing opinions.

I'm not surprised at all by this reaction. That's why I wanted to post my support of the OP - because MN can be horribly toxic, particularly towards the disabled of late.

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 14:42

Lyannaa · 20/03/2025 13:53

Mind your own business.

If someone doesn’t want comments on their precise personal situation, they shouldn’t post about it in massive detail on a thread, including literal pictures of their waist!

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 14:41

TooBigForMyBoots · 20/03/2025 14:26

Ah right. If you can't solve a stranger's problem over the internet it's their fault?

Can you hear yourself?

Edited

If you want to misrepresent what someone says, go for it. I can’t stop you. Hmm

ThejoyofNC · 20/03/2025 14:36

Lyannaa · 20/03/2025 14:30

There are a lot of people on MN atm who need to take a good look at themselves in the mirror and realise that if you haven’t lived someone else’s life and walked in their shoes, you have no right to judge them. End of story. And if you were happy with your own lives then maybe you wouldn’t be judging people you don’t know.

I disagree. If you put yourself out there for people to comment on then you can't act surprised when there are differing opinions.

Lyannaa · 20/03/2025 14:30

There are a lot of people on MN atm who need to take a good look at themselves in the mirror and realise that if you haven’t lived someone else’s life and walked in their shoes, you have no right to judge them. End of story. And if you were happy with your own lives then maybe you wouldn’t be judging people you don’t know.

TooBigForMyBoots · 20/03/2025 14:26

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 13:09

@ThePurpleBuffalo I have a severe disability too and I don’t agree that just complaining on MN is your only option. You are choosing to take your “strong” meds on an empty stomach. (I presume it’s actually an NSAID so it can’t be that strong.)

I realise I sound unsympathetic and I’m sorry for that, but I’ve been in online groups for “Spoonies” for many years and I’m very familiar with your attitude. No one can solve the problem for you. If you can use the internet and take a pic of yourself measuring your waist then you have a reasonable degree of ability and you can find a solution to this. For example, space out what you are eating through the day more. Do online surveys (instead of going on MN) you can redeem on Amazon as money and order some food that way. If you actually say which benefits you are getting and what the disability is, people could give you advice, but you don’t want that, you just want to say what a bad way you’re in.

Ah right. If you can't solve a stranger's problem over the internet it's their fault?

Can you hear yourself?

ThePurpleBuffalo · 20/03/2025 13:54

TooBigForMyBoots · 20/03/2025 13:50

But it is a biggie for that poster. In fact it is detrimental to her health.

Yes, it is. I'm terrified of getting a stomach bug or a large bil because I know it'll mean putting myself back in hospital.

The gargantuan amount of money that has been spent on my visits to the hospital when it would be easier to make sure I can take care of myself in the first place is really crazy to contemplate. One stay alone, including the ambulance that has to come out to me, would cover my food bill for a few years.

Lyannaa · 20/03/2025 13:53

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Mind your own business.

Lyannaa · 20/03/2025 13:52

I don’t blame you honestly.

TooBigForMyBoots · 20/03/2025 13:50

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

But it is a biggie for that poster. In fact it is detrimental to her health.

BatchCookBabe · 20/03/2025 13:49

Don't let the haters get to you @ThePurpleBuffalo Flowers I hope you're OK.

jasflowers · 20/03/2025 13:49

coldcallerbaiter · 19/03/2025 17:58

Disabled people aren’t hated. The rise in claimants is not supportable.

Address why more people are becoming disabled then?

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