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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

It’s goodbye from me

439 replies

solongandthxforthefish · 19/03/2025 17:54

I’ve been on mumsnet since the early days, it’s seen my family grow up and become adults, seen me become a grandparent.

its been a happy place, a supportive place through thick and thin and I’ve made lots of contacts who I will miss.

the supportive threads are being lost amongst ones of hatred and intolerance for difference, for the others and by threads about high incomes not being enough, of how disabled people are increasingly hated, how children with SEND are an inconvenience. Boomers, of which I am not one, are hated.

is there anybody mumsnet members actually like?

im taking a break, however long is needed until the hatred is less.

OP posts:
Lyannaa · 20/03/2025 16:18

WhereIsMyJumper · 19/03/2025 18:12

I doubt anyone cares OP.

On a side note, I frequently see posts referred to as ‘full of hatred’ on here when they’re nothing of the sort. Usually just an alternative view point.

I have also seen multiple posts deleted for ‘breaking talk guidelines’ when they don’t. It’s just that sometimes, people don’t like reading things they disagree with and so hit the report button and I am not convinced MNHQ read them before deleting

Oh they definitely do read them. If you are getting multiple posts deleted, it will be because posts are being offensive in some way.

Codelive · 20/03/2025 16:17

ThePurpleBuffalo · 20/03/2025 16:16

If the government thinks they're strong enough to class them as controlled substances, then that qualifies as strong in my book.

I have both nausea and dizziness on a regular basis. But presumably if I'd brought that up, it would be more evidence that my only goal here is to garner the sympathy of strangers. But I've been on MN for donkeys years and I'm well aware that someone will always find a way to criticise - no matter what the point is.

And they’re not opioids?

ThePurpleBuffalo · 20/03/2025 16:16

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 16:01

Like some other posters, you hate being disagreed with or proved wrong. Nothing in your post is relevant because PP wasn’t talking about nausea or dizziness. She was saying she has to eat to avoid stomach damage from her strong painkillers.

If the government thinks they're strong enough to class them as controlled substances, then that qualifies as strong in my book.

I have both nausea and dizziness on a regular basis. But presumably if I'd brought that up, it would be more evidence that my only goal here is to garner the sympathy of strangers. But I've been on MN for donkeys years and I'm well aware that someone will always find a way to criticise - no matter what the point is.

Codelive · 20/03/2025 16:04

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 15:58

Yes, ages ago because I was getting lots of hateful responses.

According to your posting history… you were back on it…. The next day!!

Codelive · 20/03/2025 16:03

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 15:58

Yes, ages ago because I was getting lots of hateful responses.

And what led you back?

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 16:01

5128gap · 20/03/2025 15:52

Many people need to eat with opioids because it reduces any nausea and dizziness they may experience. They may also need to eat specific foods on a regular basis to manage constipation. Clearly you are not a doctor or pharmacist and neither am I, so I think we can spare the other posters the tedium of me spoon feeding you information you could easily Google. Your attitude towards PP is appalling. If your aim was to demonstrate OP has a point, that's the one thing on the thread you have got right.

Like some other posters, you hate being disagreed with or proved wrong. Nothing in your post is relevant because PP wasn’t talking about nausea or dizziness. She was saying she has to eat to avoid stomach damage from her strong painkillers.

Lyannaa · 20/03/2025 16:00

AmusedMaker · 20/03/2025 15:56

I think so yes.
can’t remember what it was called.

It was called ‘Moldies’

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 15:58

Codelive · 20/03/2025 15:33

You started your own thread @verysmellyjelly asking mumsnet to delete your account because you were sick of the autistic hate.

And yet…. You’re here

Yes, ages ago because I was getting lots of hateful responses.

Lyannaa · 20/03/2025 15:58

Codelive · 20/03/2025 15:55

how skilled were these posters that they were able to build a fully functioning website to chat.

Email wouldn’t do? Facebook?

this is bloody weird

It was a totally crappy, old fashioned style message board. Nothing whatsoever like Mumsnet. In a way, it was no different from people having a private group chat on WhatsApp. But the way they did it was the problem - holding votes to decide who could join.

Codelive · 20/03/2025 15:57

AmusedMaker · 20/03/2025 15:56

I think so yes.
can’t remember what it was called.

The investment! The technical skill! The cost!

when this was a group of posters who wanted to privately message.

weird!!

AmusedMaker · 20/03/2025 15:56

Codelive · 20/03/2025 15:48

They actually built an entirely new site for chatting?!

I think so yes.
can’t remember what it was called.

Lyannaa · 20/03/2025 15:56

If you agree to your own inferiority in order to be respected and get a seat at the table, then that’s not going to work.

Codelive · 20/03/2025 15:55

Mydogisamassivetwat · 20/03/2025 15:50

Yeah. And I’m still sore all these years later that I was ousted from the clique and wasn’t allowed to join. I mean, I did call one of them a cunt, but it was completely justified.

how skilled were these posters that they were able to build a fully functioning website to chat.

Email wouldn’t do? Facebook?

this is bloody weird

5128gap · 20/03/2025 15:52

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 14:56

Except she specifically claims it’s not an NSAID painkiller and that it’s “strong”. There is no particular necessity to eat alongside opioids. You can do, but it’s not a requirement like with some medications.

Many people need to eat with opioids because it reduces any nausea and dizziness they may experience. They may also need to eat specific foods on a regular basis to manage constipation. Clearly you are not a doctor or pharmacist and neither am I, so I think we can spare the other posters the tedium of me spoon feeding you information you could easily Google. Your attitude towards PP is appalling. If your aim was to demonstrate OP has a point, that's the one thing on the thread you have got right.

Mydogisamassivetwat · 20/03/2025 15:50

Codelive · 20/03/2025 15:48

They actually built an entirely new site for chatting?!

Yeah. And I’m still sore all these years later that I was ousted from the clique and wasn’t allowed to join. I mean, I did call one of them a cunt, but it was completely justified.

Codelive · 20/03/2025 15:48

AmusedMaker · 20/03/2025 15:47

I remember posters like cod.
I remember when a load of them
started up a new site ( invitation only )
It wasn’t very nice back then at all.
Much prefer it now.

They actually built an entirely new site for chatting?!

AmusedMaker · 20/03/2025 15:47

I remember posters like cod.
I remember when a load of them
started up a new site ( invitation only )
It wasn’t very nice back then at all.
Much prefer it now.

ThePurpleBuffalo · 20/03/2025 15:46

Codelive · 20/03/2025 15:38

That is impressive

because staying in bed all day and not being able to eat properly and having lots of hospital admissions sound thoroughly awful.

how long have you been like this? Was it difficult raising a child?

Yeah it is quite hard, but we've all just got to get on with things. There are plenty of people worse off than me.

I haven't been unwell that long. Since about 2020ish? Maybe a bit earlier, but I was dismissing the signs because I didn't want to believe it.

Luckily it didn't affect my parenting, especially when DC was young and full of energy. We used to do loads of activities and have races and all sorts. I married in my early twenties because I always knew I wanted a baby. Which was fortunate timing so DC got the benefit of having a fit and strong mum.

TooBigForMyBoots · 20/03/2025 15:40

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 15:29

lol, you really have no idea what you’re talking about. None of my comments are saying it’s PP’s fault. That’s something you’ve made up, I’m not sure why. How could a disability be her fault? Ridiculous idea. It is however up to her to find solutions for practical problems. Just like it is for everyone. No one’s disability is their fault but we all have to function in the same world.

It may be imperfect and wrong of me to be irritated by self pity, sure. If that’s a flaw, I own up to it. I don’t like this sort of exaggeration and “poor me” syndrome, and I’m very open about that, maybe due to my autism. You aren’t forced to reply to my comments if you hate them that much! But I have come to this perspective via years and years of experience and giving countless hours of support to other disabled people. And you don’t even know what “spoonie” means so I highly doubt you have a comparable level of experience regarding the kind of cultures online that I am talking about. If you did, you might well agree with me.

I did wonder about autism reading your posts@verysmellyjelly.

What is imperfect and wrong about your posts on this thread is that you are making out that a disabled person you don't know, who has medical history know nothing about is lying and self pitying. You are not helping this person, indeed you may be making it worse for them. Because you do not know them, you do not understand their situation.

People are different to you. People are different to other people from your past. You are not in any position to solve posters' problems. But you can make them worse.

Codelive · 20/03/2025 15:38

ThePurpleBuffalo · 20/03/2025 15:34

I'm long divorced with a grown up child.

No, I avoid getting into depressive thinking about it. It was very mentally challenging at first, but I try to be optimistic about it these days. I can only do what I can do and getting angry or upset about it only makes my life more difficult.

That is impressive

because staying in bed all day and not being able to eat properly and having lots of hospital admissions sound thoroughly awful.

how long have you been like this? Was it difficult raising a child?

ThePurpleBuffalo · 20/03/2025 15:34

Codelive · 20/03/2025 15:29

It sounds a very very depressing existence
good you have lots of friends
im guessing not married but any children?

I'm long divorced with a grown up child.

No, I avoid getting into depressive thinking about it. It was very mentally challenging at first, but I try to be optimistic about it these days. I can only do what I can do and getting angry or upset about it only makes my life more difficult.

Codelive · 20/03/2025 15:33

You started your own thread @verysmellyjelly asking mumsnet to delete your account because you were sick of the autistic hate.

And yet…. You’re here

Codelive · 20/03/2025 15:32

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 15:30

No, I am unfortunately severely disabled.

So you heaped a lot of skepticism on the PP about her serious disability

I’m guessing you’re not going to elaborate any further on your disability but suffice to say…. You think it’s serious and worse than the PP

ThePurpleBuffalo · 20/03/2025 15:31

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 15:29

lol, you really have no idea what you’re talking about. None of my comments are saying it’s PP’s fault. That’s something you’ve made up, I’m not sure why. How could a disability be her fault? Ridiculous idea. It is however up to her to find solutions for practical problems. Just like it is for everyone. No one’s disability is their fault but we all have to function in the same world.

It may be imperfect and wrong of me to be irritated by self pity, sure. If that’s a flaw, I own up to it. I don’t like this sort of exaggeration and “poor me” syndrome, and I’m very open about that, maybe due to my autism. You aren’t forced to reply to my comments if you hate them that much! But I have come to this perspective via years and years of experience and giving countless hours of support to other disabled people. And you don’t even know what “spoonie” means so I highly doubt you have a comparable level of experience regarding the kind of cultures online that I am talking about. If you did, you might well agree with me.

I'm afraid I can't find a practical solution to food costing more than I have to spend on it.

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 15:30

Codelive · 20/03/2025 15:30

@verysmellyjelly do you work?

No, I am unfortunately severely disabled.