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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It’s goodbye from me

439 replies

solongandthxforthefish · 19/03/2025 17:54

I’ve been on mumsnet since the early days, it’s seen my family grow up and become adults, seen me become a grandparent.

its been a happy place, a supportive place through thick and thin and I’ve made lots of contacts who I will miss.

the supportive threads are being lost amongst ones of hatred and intolerance for difference, for the others and by threads about high incomes not being enough, of how disabled people are increasingly hated, how children with SEND are an inconvenience. Boomers, of which I am not one, are hated.

is there anybody mumsnet members actually like?

im taking a break, however long is needed until the hatred is less.

OP posts:
TooBigForMyBoots · 20/03/2025 16:52

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 16:36

Lol, the fact that you can’t see that you are the person making a hateful post here is so ridiculous. You disagree with my take so you imply I must be Oh So Terribly Mentally Ill…!

That is actually ableist as anything but you think you are being moral.

Show quote history

Just as you disagree with @ThePurpleBuffalo's description of her condition and imply that she is lying and Oh So Terribly Self Pitying...?

Can you see it now?

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 20/03/2025 16:51

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 15:58

Yes, ages ago because I was getting lots of hateful responses.

Show quote history

And now you post the hateful responses instead.

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 16:50

Codelive · 20/03/2025 16:47

So never worked? Travelled? Do you have a partner?

Show quote history

I’m married. Have travelled a bit (with lots of medical equipment, aids, special planning etc) in younger years. Worked a little in limited roles that were suitable for me but never really a “normal” job. I loved working, though. I’m always on the look out for anything I could do to earn again. It’s depressing not to work. I can’t give details about the work I did as it’s very identifying.

RunningScaredStiff · 20/03/2025 16:49

There are a lot of nasty people on here but they don’t bother me.

I had a thread on here a while ago and someone picked me up on a spelling. They didn’t stress me out, or make me feel bad about myself as they intended. I just pitied them.

I mean, what kind of person must you be if you lurk on an anonymous website pulling people up on a grammar error, or being nasty and kicking someone when down.

I’ll tell you what kind of a person that is. It’s a sad, bitter f*cker, unhappy with their life. They don’t know joy. I feel pity for them.

I on the other hand am happy with my lot. I don’t need to take it out on other women to make myself feel better.

It would be better for MN if we kept people like you OP. Those with experience and wisdom to payback to the younger lot, the support we got from this great website.

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 16:48

@ThePurpleBuffalo I’m sorry for coming off as competitive, that wasn’t my intention. I just meant it’s not possible for me to be ableist to you.

Codelive · 20/03/2025 16:47

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 16:46

It is pretty soul destroying. I have had it since childhood (first symptoms observed as a toddler) but it’s got worse over the years.

Show quote history

So never worked? Travelled? Do you have a partner?

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 16:46

Codelive · 20/03/2025 16:44

So what else do you do?

It sounds like an utterly soul destroying disability you have

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It is pretty soul destroying. I have had it since childhood (first symptoms observed as a toddler) but it’s got worse over the years.

Codelive · 20/03/2025 16:45

Have you had this since a child?

ThePurpleBuffalo · 20/03/2025 16:45

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 16:40

Don’t be silly. It’s clear from your posts you are much more well and able than I am. Just because you dislike your opinion doesn’t mean I am “being ableist”.

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It's not a competition.

Codelive · 20/03/2025 16:44

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 16:44

I actually don’t even post on MN every day!

So what else do you do?

It sounds like an utterly soul destroying disability you have

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 16:44

I actually don’t even post on MN every day!

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 16:43

Codelive · 20/03/2025 16:42

It was a genuine question

what do you do all day?

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Manage symptoms. Rest in between. A lot of my symptoms are gross and not fun to describe.

Codelive · 20/03/2025 16:42

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 16:42

Oh, am I not being productive enough for you? Sorry Codelive. Must try harder.

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It was a genuine question

what do you do all day?

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 16:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Oh, am I not being productive enough for you? Sorry Codelive. Must try harder.

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 16:41

Codelive · 20/03/2025 16:39

I think for your own mental health you should have stuck to your word and left mumsnet

rather than asking for your account to be deleted and then promptly carrying on mumsnetting

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I think I was overreacting! But thanks for your opinion that autistic women with strong emotions and views are not welcome. About what I expect from MN posters.

Codelive · 20/03/2025 16:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 16:40

ThePurpleBuffalo · 20/03/2025 16:38

You're not in a position to criticise others for being ableist.

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Don’t be silly. It’s clear from your posts you are much more well and able than I am. Just because you dislike your opinion doesn’t mean I am “being ableist”.

Codelive · 20/03/2025 16:39

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 16:36

Lol, the fact that you can’t see that you are the person making a hateful post here is so ridiculous. You disagree with my take so you imply I must be Oh So Terribly Mentally Ill…!

That is actually ableist as anything but you think you are being moral.

Show quote history

I think for your own mental health you should have stuck to your word and left mumsnet

rather than asking for your account to be deleted and then promptly carrying on mumsnetting

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 16:39

Lyannaa · 20/03/2025 16:18

Oh they definitely do read them. If you are getting multiple posts deleted, it will be because posts are being offensive in some way.

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The moderation is completely ridiculous, they once refused to delete a post that someone made where the poster accused me of being the worst thing on the internet (so by strong implication, worse than CSAM etc) under the argument that it didn’t break talk guidelines. Literally about two days before, they deleted a post I made where I had said someone was lucky to have been able to have children despite her disability and that I was sad mine meant I couldn’t. Apparently the latter was a personal attack that broke guidelines but the former wasn’t. That clearly isn’t true, though: either all attacks are okay (in which case what I said should have been left up, along with many things that are deleted) or what was said to me should have been deleted. They have an incontrovertible pattern of bias.

ThePurpleBuffalo · 20/03/2025 16:38

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 16:36

Lol, the fact that you can’t see that you are the person making a hateful post here is so ridiculous. You disagree with my take so you imply I must be Oh So Terribly Mentally Ill…!

That is actually ableist as anything but you think you are being moral.

Show quote history

You're not in a position to criticise others for being ableist.

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 16:36

TooBigForMyBoots · 20/03/2025 16:21

Ah, I see.

You have internalised earlier hatred and are projecting onto the PP. Are you receiving help for your mental health @verysmellyjelly? How's that going for you?

Lol, the fact that you can’t see that you are the person making a hateful post here is so ridiculous. You disagree with my take so you imply I must be Oh So Terribly Mentally Ill…!

That is actually ableist as anything but you think you are being moral.

verysmellyjelly · 20/03/2025 16:34

Codelive · 20/03/2025 16:04

According to your posting history… you were back on it…. The next day!!

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Yes, I overreacted! Totally unprecedented for an autistic person to misjudge a situation Grin

ThePurpleBuffalo · 20/03/2025 16:26

ThePurpleBuffalo · 20/03/2025 16:21

Some of them are. Some of them aren't.

I take an absolute bollockload of tablets every day. I think I'm taking eight tablets every morning as soon as I wake up. Then heaps more all throughout the day.

Edited
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Actually it's more than eight. I've missed some off.

TooBigForMyBoots · 20/03/2025 16:21

Ah, I see.

You have internalised earlier hatred and are projecting onto the PP. Are you receiving help for your mental health @verysmellyjelly? How's that going for you?

ThePurpleBuffalo · 20/03/2025 16:21

Codelive · 20/03/2025 16:17

And they’re not opioids?

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Some of them are. Some of them aren't.

I take an absolute bollockload of tablets every day. I think I'm taking eight tablets every morning as soon as I wake up. Then heaps more all throughout the day.