Page 16 | It’s goodbye from me

solongandthxforthefish · 2025-03-19T17:54:14+00:00

I’ve been on mumsnet since the early days, it’s seen my family grow up and become adults, seen me become a grandparent. its been a happy place, a supportive place through thick and thin and I’ve made lots of contacts who I will miss. the supportive threads are being lost amongst ones of hatred and intolerance for difference, for the others and by threads about high incomes not being enough, of how disabled people are increasingly hated, how children with SEND are an inconvenience. Boomers, of which I am not one, are hated. is there anybody mumsnet members actually like? im taking a break, however long is needed until the hatred is less.

Mydogisamassivetwat · 19/03/2025 18:59

JanglingJack · 19/03/2025 18:56

Oh! I thought it was a topic like AIBU.

What became of her then? Ffs I don't really care (I do though).

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The whole gang started something called “moldies” (mumsnet oldies) in, shit, like 2008 I want to say? A lot fucked off as mumsnet got too big. I wasn’t allowed in the moldies gang as I had a falling out with one of them over something so stupid, I can’t remember. But to my embarrassment, it seemed so important at the time.

I think a lot name changed too and are still here.

GlomOfNit · 19/03/2025 18:58

SO many people thinking it's necessary to trot out that old cliche about it not being an airport... ... so very original and clever of you all!

I mean, why? Why is it necessary to comment snidely, rather than just scroll on? You are making the OP's point nicely for her! I think the point of the OP's opening post was not to say bye bye and thanks for all the fish, but to explain that she felt MN had become a far less pleasant place to chat and share opinions.

JanglingJack · 19/03/2025 18:58

DDDSSF223 · 19/03/2025 18:53

She did however give great Tesco discount codes I seem to remember

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😂

NetZeroZealot · 19/03/2025 18:56

Ahhh ... OP I feel for you. I'm another long standing member.

It really gets my goat when Justine does her media appearances extolling the amazing support people get from MN and completely ignoring the toxic culture that dominates this place now.

I mean it's not just MN but the whole of the fucking internet.

But still. It ain't what it used to be.

Jade520 · 19/03/2025 18:56

You can check out anytime you like but you can never leave.
Believe me, I've tried.

JanglingJack · 19/03/2025 18:56

Mydogisamassivetwat · 19/03/2025 18:51

She was Queen bee back in the day. Couldn’t type for toffee, lots of oh so funny (not) spelling errors, and was a bit of a nasty bully.

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Oh! I thought it was a topic like AIBU.

What became of her then? Ffs I don't really care (I do though).

Surfshoe · 19/03/2025 18:56

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

WhereIsMyJumper · 19/03/2025 18:55

IME, both here and on other SM platforms, the most ‘unkind’ are usually the far left. These are the ones that call people all sorts of vile names and hurl abuse at them because they’re questioning something they don’t agree with.

It’s all “BE KIND OR I WILL BURN YOUR FUCKING HOUSE DOWN” and the irony is lost on most

GlomOfNit · 19/03/2025 18:55

SpidersAreShitheads · 19/03/2025 18:26

I would say the changes in MN reflect the changes in society.

There's been a definite shift to the right, and far less appetite to support others with different needs. Far less willingness to provide space for people who are different.

Society as a whole is less tolerant, less kind, and less willing to believe that others are genuinely doing their best. So many people are over-focussed on the fact that someone else might be getting more than them, even when they're doing perfectly well themselves. It's me, me, me.

There are still plenty of kind, lovely people out there, particularly women. But I don't think you're wrong to say that there's certainly a loud proportion that tend to drown the nice folk out at times.

As far as MN goes, some threads tend to attract them more than others. I've seen plenty of really supportive threads still going up every day. It's usually easy to spot the ones that are going to attract the arseholes, as certain topics gives them an opportunity to punch down and discuss others who they consider to be less.

I find it just better to swerve them because otherwise I start to genuinely feel overwhelmed at what people really think. I made the mistake of venturing onto a couple of threads this week and felt utterly despondent at what people were repeating as "fact", and the opinions they held.

If you do take a break OP, I wish you well. Social media in any form can be draining at times and it can be good to step away sometimes.

Great points made here - I agree largely. I tend not to hang out in areas of MN where I think a lot of intolerant or abrasive posters will make thoughtless or cruel comments. I've been an enthusiastic MNer since 2006 and yes, this place really has changed. But a big part of that is because it's so much bigger than it was back then - more posters, less familiarity with 'characters' that popped up all over the place - it's become a large and diverse city rather than a large village.

I do suspect though, that some of the changes in tone from a few posters reflect societal changes at large. This is really sad as I assume there's nowhere online to get away from that. We all obviously need to forge more RL relationships and connections!

DDDSSF223 · 19/03/2025 18:53

Mydogisamassivetwat · 19/03/2025 18:51

She was Queen bee back in the day. Couldn’t type for toffee, lots of oh so funny (not) spelling errors, and was a bit of a nasty bully.

Show quote history

She did however give great Tesco discount codes I seem to remember

AstroZomb1e · 19/03/2025 18:53

Mydogisamassivetwat · 19/03/2025 18:49

@AstroZomb1e are we going to have to crowdfund for that wig?

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Ahhhh!
We’re only two pages in, I’ll be bald as a coot soon enough, and not just on my head.

DDDSSF223 · 19/03/2025 18:52

I remember reading posts like this when I first joined when my son was about 2.

He is at Uni now.

Plus ca change

Mydogisamassivetwat · 19/03/2025 18:51

JanglingJack · 19/03/2025 18:49

What is, or was COD?

Call Of Duty?

She was Queen bee back in the day. Couldn’t type for toffee, lots of oh so funny (not) spelling errors, and was a bit of a nasty bully.

Whammyyammy · 19/03/2025 18:50

Didn't know we had to announce our departure?

Mydogisamassivetwat · 19/03/2025 18:49

TheThreeCheesesOfTheApocalypse44 · 19/03/2025 18:44

It's a website to have a bitch and a moan. It's not an airport, you don't have to announce your departure.

@AstroZomb1e are we going to have to crowdfund for that wig?

JanglingJack · 19/03/2025 18:49

What is, or was COD?

Call Of Duty?

Longsummerdays25 · 19/03/2025 18:48

I think it’s a MUCH nicer place than it used to be. We used to have packs of bullies targeting relentlessly posters and obv coordinated etc. I genuinely find it on the bland side these days.

Youagain2025 · 19/03/2025 18:47

SpidersAreShitheads · 19/03/2025 18:26

I would say the changes in MN reflect the changes in society.

There's been a definite shift to the right, and far less appetite to support others with different needs. Far less willingness to provide space for people who are different.

Society as a whole is less tolerant, less kind, and less willing to believe that others are genuinely doing their best. So many people are over-focussed on the fact that someone else might be getting more than them, even when they're doing perfectly well themselves. It's me, me, me.

There are still plenty of kind, lovely people out there, particularly women. But I don't think you're wrong to say that there's certainly a loud proportion that tend to drown the nice folk out at times.

As far as MN goes, some threads tend to attract them more than others. I've seen plenty of really supportive threads still going up every day. It's usually easy to spot the ones that are going to attract the arseholes, as certain topics gives them an opportunity to punch down and discuss others who they consider to be less.

I find it just better to swerve them because otherwise I start to genuinely feel overwhelmed at what people really think. I made the mistake of venturing onto a couple of threads this week and felt utterly despondent at what people were repeating as "fact", and the opinions they held.

If you do take a break OP, I wish you well. Social media in any form can be draining at times and it can be good to step away sometimes.

Totally agree. And it doesn't matter when you come back weather that's tomorrow or several months . Or that you don't actually go at all. I find it's sometimes good to have a barrier otherwise it can mess you up mentally especially if your at the receiving end. There are more kinder people on here than nasty. But sadly the nastiness sticks out because its hurtful. Try and filter it . Totally ignore the nasty comments. And just reply to the once that make sense and are helpful to you .

NonComm · 19/03/2025 18:47

The occasional hateful comments about older women are shocking and unsettling - we’ll all (hopefully) be older one day.
Gransnet is more chilled imho….

vodkaredbullgirl · 19/03/2025 18:46

And it's a goodbye from him 😀

ilovesooty · 19/03/2025 18:44

SpidersAreShitheads · 19/03/2025 18:26

I would say the changes in MN reflect the changes in society.

There's been a definite shift to the right, and far less appetite to support others with different needs. Far less willingness to provide space for people who are different.

Society as a whole is less tolerant, less kind, and less willing to believe that others are genuinely doing their best. So many people are over-focussed on the fact that someone else might be getting more than them, even when they're doing perfectly well themselves. It's me, me, me.

There are still plenty of kind, lovely people out there, particularly women. But I don't think you're wrong to say that there's certainly a loud proportion that tend to drown the nice folk out at times.

As far as MN goes, some threads tend to attract them more than others. I've seen plenty of really supportive threads still going up every day. It's usually easy to spot the ones that are going to attract the arseholes, as certain topics gives them an opportunity to punch down and discuss others who they consider to be less.

I find it just better to swerve them because otherwise I start to genuinely feel overwhelmed at what people really think. I made the mistake of venturing onto a couple of threads this week and felt utterly despondent at what people were repeating as "fact", and the opinions they held.

If you do take a break OP, I wish you well. Social media in any form can be draining at times and it can be good to step away sometimes.

That's a lovely kind post.

MargueriteInBloom · 19/03/2025 18:44

@SpidersAreShitheads i agree.

Even on what use to be fully supportive threads like Relationships, peoole don’t think twice about shredding the OP if they don’t meet some of standard. Try to shame abused women for not leaving sooner or ‘why on Earth did you have kids with this scum?’

Very black and white outlook on life.

And the assumptions!!

And That’s not even with contentious threads. I tend to hide those if I’ve got sucked in.

TheThreeCheesesOfTheApocalypse44 · 19/03/2025 18:44

It's a website to have a bitch and a moan. It's not an airport, you don't have to announce your departure.

AstroZomb1e · 19/03/2025 18:43

HomeBodyClub · 19/03/2025 18:42

This is not a departure lounge…
Youll be scrolling by bedtime.

NOOOOOOOOO!!!! It’s as good as! Hair being removed.

HomeBodyClub · 19/03/2025 18:42

This is not a departure lounge…
Youll be scrolling by bedtime.