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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It’s goodbye from me

439 replies

solongandthxforthefish · 19/03/2025 17:54

I’ve been on mumsnet since the early days, it’s seen my family grow up and become adults, seen me become a grandparent.

its been a happy place, a supportive place through thick and thin and I’ve made lots of contacts who I will miss.

the supportive threads are being lost amongst ones of hatred and intolerance for difference, for the others and by threads about high incomes not being enough, of how disabled people are increasingly hated, how children with SEND are an inconvenience. Boomers, of which I am not one, are hated.

is there anybody mumsnet members actually like?

im taking a break, however long is needed until the hatred is less.

OP posts:
GinToBegin · 19/03/2025 19:29

I’ve been around for 10 years, and fwiw, I think there has always been ageism, racism and ableism here. Mostly pushed back against, but not always. MN also, imo, skews toward wealthier people, and the responses to people living with or threatened with poverty are frequently tone deaf.

On the other hand, the support can be huge, the hunt for lost items can be heart-warming and the wittiness can be an absolute joy. Yes, you’ve got to wade through some shite, but that’s life.

Oh, and I have learned so much about women’s right, gender issues, etc. I thought my views were pretty well-formed, but MN has been a major education. I don’t post there, but genuinely believe FWR has been an education.

So yeah, shit happens, but at its best, MN is still unrivalled.

MellowCritic · 19/03/2025 19:28

offmynut · 19/03/2025 18:12

By by.

I really don't want to be nasty but if you're going to be sarcastic can you at least make sure you spell correctly. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️😩

AnnaBalfour · 19/03/2025 19:28

People falling over themselves to be edgy by saying good riddance to you. They must feel so smug and proud 😂

Dwrcegin · 19/03/2025 19:27

OP, reading an opposing view is necessary. I've read things on MN that have changed my mind.

I particularly enjoy the rich people "Is 3K enough to live on after all the bills are paid?" threads. Fucking hilarious.

Surfshoe · 19/03/2025 19:26

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Redfred00 · 19/03/2025 19:25

👋

Bad Gif Pokeme GIF by Bold Art Degens
AnnaBalfour · 19/03/2025 19:25

I agree, so much nastiness especially regarding the disabled/SEND.

Not to mention the inevitable sarcasm, blaming, passive aggressiveness I find horrible on the posts where women are genuinely reaching out for help in a polite way. Even if one doesn’t agree with them there’s just no need for it.

Surfshoe · 19/03/2025 19:25

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

ThePurpleBuffalo · 19/03/2025 19:25

ThejoyofNC · 19/03/2025 19:20

See now I'm thinking I must have joined at the end of some kind of era.

I remember a poster by that name, always commented short and frankly rude comments on threads. But for some reason they seemed to have some kind of cult following who praised every word.

I never knew Mumsnet had queen bees, I never really pay attention to usernames.

Show quote history

short and frankly rude comments

Yeah that was her. People were falling over themselves to lick her arse for some reason.

JanglingJack · 19/03/2025 19:23

Mydogisamassivetwat · 19/03/2025 18:59

The whole gang started something called “moldies” (mumsnet oldies) in, shit, like 2008 I want to say? A lot fucked off as mumsnet got too big. I wasn’t allowed in the moldies gang as I had a falling out with one of them over something so stupid, I can’t remember. But to my embarrassment, it seemed so important at the time.

I think a lot name changed too and are still here.

Show quote history

I absolutely get where you're from. I've made lifelong friends and had relationships due to a certain forum. Not a parenting one!

That splintered off in to groups and my god, the back stabbing, itchiness (auto correct, I'm keeping that!) and time, energy and emotion spent... Truly exhausting.
I've met some in RL, it must be 18 years and one or two are now my closest friends.

I suspect if people are still about from those days and consider themselves something special then they probably would have outed themselves by now.

BatchCookBabe · 19/03/2025 19:23

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

AnyFucker is still here. Only posted the day before yesterday.

Awful username I think. And yeah I never 'got' the worship for them either. 🤔

tillytoodles1 · 19/03/2025 19:22

You won't be missed.

BatchCookBabe · 19/03/2025 19:21

Why name change to flounce? Confused How odd @solongandthxforthefish

Anyway, as The Eagles said in the song Hotel California. (Ask your nan kids.)

“You can check-out any time you like, but you can never leave!" 😎

See you soon. Godspeed. 🚢

ThejoyofNC · 19/03/2025 19:20

ThePurpleBuffalo · 19/03/2025 19:05

Anyfucker was awful. One of the rudest posters ever.

Show quote history

See now I'm thinking I must have joined at the end of some kind of era.

I remember a poster by that name, always commented short and frankly rude comments on threads. But for some reason they seemed to have some kind of cult following who praised every word.

I never knew Mumsnet had queen bees, I never really pay attention to usernames.

WhereIsMyJumper · 19/03/2025 19:19

Potsofpetals · 19/03/2025 19:03

I don’t hate disabled people. I hate those that scrounge off the system then dance around on TikTok like they don’t have a care in the world.

I’d post a link but mumsnet would probably take it down. There is one particular tiktoker who boils my blood.

I want those in genuine need of benefits to have more money and a decent quality of life but we can’t do that when there are thousands of lazy bastards unwilling to go to work

Agreed. It’s the opposite of ableism. People who are genuinely disabled should be outraged at those who are scrounging.

But you can’t say this. The left believe that ANYONE who claims they have a protected characteristic is absolutely always telling the truth and there is absolutely nobody ever lying or gaming the system. People who are lying and gaming the system are the biggest ableists of all!

Potsofpetals · 19/03/2025 19:18

verysmellyjelly · 19/03/2025 19:08

@Potsofpetals I have severe disabilities and I agree with you about TikTok!

I hope we can get the system back to a point where people like you struggle jelly.

verysmellyjelly · 19/03/2025 19:16

daisychain01 · 19/03/2025 19:15

Gaslighting is not a protected term @verysmellyjelly It can be used about someone who makes a sneery remark then pretends it's "light hearted". Disingenuous then if you prefer.

It still has a specific meaning.

AstroZomb1e · 19/03/2025 19:16

The fact this thread is slowly descending into chaos is delicious irony…

Luddite26 · 19/03/2025 19:15

verysmellyjelly · 19/03/2025 19:07

@Luddite26 Ageism is so charming!

And sarcasm the lowest form of wit.

daisychain01 · 19/03/2025 19:15

Gaslighting is not a protected term @verysmellyjelly It can be used about someone who makes a sneery remark then pretends it's "light hearted". Disingenuous then if you prefer.

Letmehaveabloodyusernameplease · 19/03/2025 19:12

Oh, I see someone's answered the COD query.

CarpetKnees · 19/03/2025 19:12

WhereIsMyJumper · 19/03/2025 18:12

I doubt anyone cares OP.

On a side note, I frequently see posts referred to as ‘full of hatred’ on here when they’re nothing of the sort. Usually just an alternative view point.

I have also seen multiple posts deleted for ‘breaking talk guidelines’ when they don’t. It’s just that sometimes, people don’t like reading things they disagree with and so hit the report button and I am not convinced MNHQ read them before deleting

This.

So yes, YABVVVU to use this topic and not ask what YABU about.

I've been on here over 20 years too, and don't agree with very much at all of your OP.

However, if you want to stop using the site, then stop. No-one needs an announcement.

verysmellyjelly · 19/03/2025 19:12

@daisychain01 Joking about someone leaving the site isn’t gaslighting, and using the term incorrectly like that is incredibly insulting to people who have experienced genuine gaslighting in abusive situations.

dawngreen · 19/03/2025 19:12

Next its the income tax, and sons and daughters being drafted for the war if things get worse. I,ll get the popcorn at least the fit and able will be working.

CeaselesslyIntoThePast · 19/03/2025 19:12

Anyone done the hilarious airport gag yet ?

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